The Truth Within

“WOMEN MUST FOLLOW THEIR ESSENCE, LISTEN TO THE TRUTH WITHIN THEMSELVES AND ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER TO DO THE SAME. A WOMAN WHO LIVES FROM THE CORE OF HER POWER WILL ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO FOLLOW THEIR ESSENCE TOO, TO LISTEN TO THE TRUTH WITHIN THEMSELVES. OWN YOUR OWN POWER, LIVE FROM THE CENTER OF YOUR BEING.” 

– wisdom from The Grandmothers spirit guides, from the book Love Is Our Power

It’s time. You’re here at this time, in this place, for a reason. 

You have a truth inside that wants to express. 

Maybe you’re not sure where to start. How to make that truth a reality.

After years of experimenting on my own and with clients, I have nailed down a process for doing just that - for accessing the core of your power and bringing it into the material plane. A process for living from the center of your being – where your truth lies. 

I call this 6-week 1:1 coaching course “Your Best Year Yet”. And we can start anytime.

I walk you through a process for bringing your dreams into reality. We do magic and we get down to business. We use modern science and ancient wisdom.   

It’s time. This is it. We need all the humans listening to their truth and living from that place.

If you’d like help, I’d love to. Schedule a discovery call and we can talk about how best to proceed.

Winter Solstice

Today, December 21st, is Winter Solstice. The darkest day of the year. 

The darkness has been building and today is the apex. The scales tip. The light will slowly start to build again. Today we celebrate both the darkness and the return of the light. 

I follow The Celtic Wheel of the Year. It is a beautiful way to stay connected to the cycles and rhythms of the natural world. It’s easy to think we are not a part of nature, to feel disconnected from what’s going on with Mother Earth. But we are a part of the system and when we’re disconnected from the cycles and rhythms and gifts and stewardship of our natural resources, we can start to feel isolated and alone. 

The Celtic Wheel is a way to feel connected. 

Winter Solstice opens Yule season on The Celtic Wheel. The invitation during this season is for rest and quiet reflection. Restoration. Listening, dreaming, visioning. 

How can we nurture ourselves? How can we honor and invite rest?

Looking to nature for guidance, we see a slowing. The squirrels were busy in the fall preparing for winter. Now I don’t see many. The leaves have fallen and blanket the plants that appear dead. But they’re not! Well, the annuals are, but the perennials and the trees are resting - an important part of the cycle. It doesn’t look like much is going on but there is quiet and still work below the surface. This work requires no effort and is necessary. 

I love the way Karen Clark shares about Yule season in her book “The Path of She: Book of Sabbats”…

“Nature remembers what we humans have forgotten: every cycle must return to stillness, silence, the dark. Every out-breath requires an in-breath. Every outer endeavor turns back inward to its origins, its center, and begins again. From death comes new life and from the darkest night, the new dawn is born. Nature calls you to stillness and silence and the deepest mysteries of your inner world.

In the deepest dark of Winter Solstice, the light of a new dawn is born. So too the depth of your wounding births forth the shining light of your true beauty. Our life story, with its trials and wounding, is the crucible of our greater becoming and deepest beauty.

In our human world this is a season of festive gatherings and gift giving, perhaps because we need the joy and comfort of each other’s company as a solace to the heavy weight of the darkness on our hearts and psyche. The celebration of light and the miracle of rebirth are common themes this time of year across many cultures and traditions.”

And this poem by the great Wendell Berry so beautifully captures it:

To Know the Dark

by Wendell Berry

To go in the dark with a light is to know the light.

To know the dark, go dark. Go without sight,

and find that the dark, too, blooms and sings,

and is traveled by dark feet and dark wings.

In closing, here’s one more share from Karen Clark:

“The seasons of nature turn. The dark gives way to the light. The old to the new. Nothing lasts forever. In these primal truths, you can find the hope and courage to change your life and our world for the better, birthing new light and beautiful possibilities from the darkest night of your wounding and the pain and sorrow of our collective humanity.”

Here’s to the beautiful possibilities found in the dark, quiet, stillness. Happy Winter Solstice!

Living With Intention

I had a friend tell me recently that I live so intentionally. I do. I like that. I don’t want to feel like I’m bobbing along aimlessly while things happen to me. I want what I want and Imagonna get it by god!

She said she wants to be more intentional and asked me these questions/made these statements:

What are the steps?

The execution feels hard.

We all know what we want…or do we?

I have trouble choosing.

She’s a really good question asker isn’t she? I love these questions. And comments. I thought you all might like to get in on this too so here goes…the steps:

Step 1 - Make a list of what you want:

what do you want to have

who do you want to be

what emotions do you want to feel

what things do you want to do

what experiences do you want to have

what relationships do you want to develop

Is this overwhelming? Then just pick one. That’s all you need to get started. You don’t want the execution to be too hard.

Sometimes it is. I’m not gonna lie. Like last night. I didn’t do any of the things I know make me feel good. I was not intentional in the least. I watched mindless TV for an hour and a half. Not a show I was craving, just mindless. And afterwards…I didn’t feel good. That’s gonna happen. Today is a new day.

Do you see how I used a mindset tool there – don’t get all dramatic with your thinking. None of this: “I’m just not cut out for this, I’m not that kind of person, I never do what I say I’m gonna do, I’m lazy, This is no use, I’m a hot mess.”…none of that. Those are just stories you tell yourself. If you want your life to be different then tell yourself a different story.

And btw- I did note how I felt when I wasn’t intentional and I didn’t like it. That is motivation to keep choosing intentionality. Make a note to yourself what feels good and what doesn’t.

Back to the steps… Now that you know what you want,

Step 2: What feeling does that elicit?

Here’s an example:

At the start of the summer I was craving that freedom feeling. The one I had when I was young and riding my bike, Summer Blonde, all over the countryside with not a care in the world. My white bike basket with the bright plastic daisies and the fringies on the handles. My cute tiny shorts and my halter top. My long hair blowing in the breeze because we didn’t care about head injuries. That feeling. You know the one. THAT was what I wanted.

Really get in there to those memories and FEEL it. Bring it up in your body and mind.

Step 3: Now brainstorm a list of how to get it

My list was “Summer Dreams – my summer of freedom”. I wrote down activities that gave me that feeling: kayaking, having friends over on the deck, pool time, taking my mom on drives through the country side, bike rides, concerts, making craft AF cocktails, you get the idea. The picture above was one of my adventures!

Step 4: Include all your senses in your plan

Think of hitting all the senses of that feeling you want. I made a playlist – That Freedom Feeling – of songs that give me that feeling. Taste was summer AF cocktails, I made a Pinterest board with the summer freedom vibe, linen was my summer wardrobe theme, I literally stopped to smell the roses.

Step 5: Put your plans in your planner.

Each Sunday when I was planning my week I would make sure I had at least one of the activities from my list on my calendar. That’s the “choosing” part. Just pick one activity. Don’t complicate it. I kept my Summer Dreams list visible to keep me on track. My daughter and her friend thought it was funny.

Step 6: Bask in that feeling. Baste yourself with it, in the spirit of Thanksgiving.

When it came time for the activity I would make sure to feel that feeling in my body, I would recall that freedom feeling and feel it. I would note that feeling during the activity, and I would remember it and feel the feeling afterwards. In other words, I practiced that feeling a lot. I basked in it. I CREATED that freedom feeling.

THIS was a smashing success!

I didn’t get to every activity on my list. But I did a lot of them. I felt like I got what I wanted out of the summer. I felt that freedom feeling alot.

This week I started a Cozy Winter list. That’s the feeling I want to create this winter. I’m also thinking I want to include “vibrant” because I don’t want to sit on the couch all winter ;-). I’m thinking outdoor winter activities would be fun. So maybe “Vibrant & Cozy Winter”.

I started a Pinterest board to go along with it. Pictures that elicit that feeling I want when I look at them. I’m thinking about a winter candle & a diffuser blend, a new blanket for the couch, a warm knit hat for my vibrant outdoor activities, maybe a fun winter photo on my mirror, a winter tea blend.

So here’s the summary for living with intention:

1. What do you want? Refer to the questions up there ^. Just choose one.

2. Feel the feelings of it- what are the emotions and how does it physically feel in your body?

3. Make a list of how to create what you want– actual actions.

4. Hit all the senses with what you’re creating. That makes it more powerful.

5. Put those actions on your calendar each week.

6. Bask in the feeling of the things you do– before, during & after.

This is how I live intentionally. There are nuances of course, and I have many other tools of intentionality that I use. But this is an easy & fun one and it will get you on your way.

If you’d like help with the execution you can schedule a coaching appointment and I can walk you through it. I love this stuff!

Let me know how you live with intention. I wanna hear it! And what’s your winter vibe this year?

Creating Connection

I’ve felt a little disconnected lately. Slightly off. You?

So I came back to a morning blessing that helps me elevate out of my human monkey mind and into a higher consciousness. It creates a sacred space and helps me to instantly feel connected to the divine. It works. It’s helping.

It’s a Q’ero Blessing called “Honor The Four Directions”

Here it is:

To the Winds of the South, Great Serpent

Mother of the life giving waters

Wrap your coils of light around me

Remind me of how to let go and shed old ways of being

Teach me to walk the way of beauty

To the Winds of the West, Mother Jaguar

Support me as I see my own fears

Teach me how to transform my fears into love

Remind me of how to live with impeccability

May I have no enemies in the lifetime or the next.

To the Winds of the North, Royal Hummingbird, Ancient Ones.

Teach me about your endurance and your great joy

Come to me in the dreamtime, with honor I greet you.

To the Winds of the East, Eagle, Condor

Great Visionary, remind me to lead from my pure heart

Teach me to soar to new places, to fly wing to wing with Spirit

Mother Earth, Pachamama, I pray for your healing

May I soften into your wisdom

May I take great care of you so that my children

And my children’s children

May witness the beauty and abundance you offer me today.

Father Sun, Grandmother Moon, Star Nations

Great Spirit, you who are known by a thousand names

and you who are the unnamable One

thank you for bringing me here at this time.

It is instructed to take a few deep breaths to align before you begin the blessing. Face each direction as you read, holding your hand up to that direction. Keep your other palm open to receive. I sometimes put that palm on my heart. For Mother Earth, put one hand on the ground. For Father Sky, raise both hands to the sky. After each direction I pause and take a deep breath, really receiving the energy into my body.

It really realigns my energy. It’s quite magical.

If you’d like help, or more like this, you can schedule a 1:1 coaching session with me. I love to help people connect to the divine and find their magic again.

Cricket Wisdom & Medicine

I have a wild and crazy and fun story about Cricket.

Over the last 3 years of City Cricket’s existence the symbolism and meaning of Cricket have continued to be revealed to me at deeper and deeper levels.

My husband came up with the name seemingly randomly. Of course we know nothing is random. But the name really resonated with me. I wasn’t totally sure why but I loved it. You can read about the first layer of the name story here. I won’t go into that today. This is about a deeper level that was just revealed to me.

This morning I was drawn to look up cricket in Alyson Charles’ book “Animal Power”. And HOLY MOLY batman…wow.za.

Here’s what I found there:

The energy and symbolism of Cricket:

“desirable outcomes, good fortune, mystical song, frequency raising, courageous new heights, integrity, divine discernment.”

I feel that Cricket has led me into all of these qualities. And that is where I’m called to guide you. If you are called to step into the City Cricket space, this is what will happen there. This is what will unfold for you. This is why I’m here – to be the guide for you to evolve in these areas.

But wait! There’s more! A lot more. Back to Alyson’s message…

When to work with me (Cricket & Tracy):

“When you want to seize big opportunities, when you want to express your soul’s purpose, when you want to want to be filled with integrity, when you want high vibrations, when you need clarity on decisions, when you want to open your heart.”

This is what I wanted and needed for myself when I started City Cricket. I called in the energy of Cricket (unbeknownst to me until now) to help me deepen into each of these wants and needs.

This is what City Cricket offers you as well. It was like City Cricket was already in existence. I believe that. She was like a house that carried these vibrations, this wisdom, this medicine, these lessons, and I stepped into her. I’ve made my home here and gotten really cozy and I now invite you into this space to receive what she has to offer.

I invite you into this house, I serve you a special drink, I offer you the food I make with love, I give you a blanket and a comfortable place to sit, I have a candle burning. It smells good here. I am here as the person inviting you into this house that is City Cricket. But this space exists with or without me.

You know how you go into a space - a room, a house, a studio, a garden, a backyard - and you FEEL the personality and energy of the space? You can tell the owner/occupier/steward of the space has added their personality to it. You can feel their energy is there too. But you also somehow know that the space in and of itself is a living breathing thing. The person could not have created the same energy or qualities in a different location. It’s the combination of the human’s personality and the energy and qualities of the space that come together to create a new thing.

That’s how I see City Cricket.

Back to Alyson’s message from Cricket…

Cricket’s energy medicine:

“I am known for my voice and song. I help you find your voice and discover your unique song.

I am a protector of what is positive. Call upon me to bring forward a vibration-lifting experience in your life.

Transparency and integrity are my main medicines. I am here to remind you that it is better to be honest and real. Transparency is clear energy and provides a clear path. Manipulation and delusions create fog, chaos, and distortion. Staying true to what you know is right will always provide unexpected miracles.

I can help awaken your spiritual gifts, life dream analysis, chakra healing, aura or energy readings, and more. Call upon me when you’re ready to connect to your spiritual potential.

Are you expressing your heart? Are you holding back on love? Remember your true power and greatest guidance system live in your heart center. Don’t let them lay dormant.

Now is a ripe time of higher possibilities for you. What is presenting in your life that you should take the leap toward?”

As I’m reading this, I can feel Cricket talking to me back then, and now still. These have been my main areas of growth. This is a lifetime of evolving and shedding and calling in.

I also feel that I am saying these words to you. I am inviting you into the City Cricket space and this is what you will find here.

City Cricket is more than just me. It has my personality and flavor because I am the human occupying it. But the spirit of Cricket works through me and with you in this space.

Before every session with clients, and before I start my work in the morning, I say a prayer. I ask that Spirit work through me. I ask that I put my ego aside and that I become a pure channel for what wants to express through my human body that will serve your highest good.

If something called to you when reading this invitation, if you felt a knowing or a quickening in your body, trust that. It’s Cricket calling you. I invite you into the City Cricket house where I’ll serve you and nourish you. It would be my honor and pleasure to have you as my guest here.

photo cred: dmitry grigoriev, via unsplash.com

darkness & light

I share this painting with permission from my favorite artist and friend, Amy Kirchner. 

I was drawn to it a few weeks ago and asked her if I could share it. Imagine my surprise & delight when she explained that it’s a visual depiction of this darkness & light topic I’ve been contemplating!

Here’s what she has to say about this painting:

“Untitled Bright Gold was painted in the winter. In winter, like many people, I turn more inward. I crave more light and support in my environment. In this work I painted to provide light with bright gold on the right side, with the negative on the left, the other side of the coin. The small dark area a counterpart to the illumined right side, a necessary companion as the light could not be as radiant if it existed alone.”

YEEESSSSSSS! The dark area is a “counterpart, a necessary companion”. If you took one of them away from this painting, the power wains. That’s my experience anyway. Hold your hand over one part and see how your body responds. For me it feels like it flattens the energy. But both of them together - POWWW-EEEEE!!!!!

Thanks Amy, for offering your gifts to the world. Here’s the audio, if you’d like to hear Amy’s voice. And here’s her website for more of her work.

you are not your emotions

I had a rich discussion with a pranic healing client last week about darkness and light. We talked about being open to the full range of emotions.

The timing was exquisite as we have just entered the Samhain season on The Celtic Wheel. The invitation this time of year is to let go of what is no longer needed, which requires exploring the darkness, the negative space. 

Are you afraid of darkness?

The veil between the seen and unseen worlds is said to be thinnest this time of year. Many cultures have rituals to connect with ancestors and loved ones who have passed. It’s Scorpio season, she reminded me, and little scary creatures visit. 

But there is richness and learning in the dark scary spaces. And WE decide if they’re dark & scary, or if they’re interesting and full of gifts & growth. 

I met with 2 clients this week who are wrestling with not wanting to feel “dark” or “negative” feelings: shame, disappointment, grief, regret. 

They want to hand pick the emotions they feel and prefer only the light and happy ones. They just jam those unwanted feelings down.

Believe me, I get that! I’ve been there. For most of my living years, in fact.

In my Mindset workshop last Friday we had a discussion about feeling emotions and how you are not your emotions. One participant challenged me on that - she said, “If I’m sad and can’t get out of bed, then I am depressed. That’s who I am.” 

To which I replied: would you agree that you are <insert her name…Jane, we’ll say>. 

J: Yes.

T: And if you are sad, are you still Jane?

J: Yes.

T: And if you are angry, are you still Jane?

J: Yes.

T: And if you are frustrated, are you still Jane?

J: Yes. Especially then :-).

You get the idea?

Emotions are a part of the human experience. All of them. Emotions are not you, they are something you experience. They come and go. As humans we WILL experience the full range of them. If we try to ignore or hide from or repress an emotion, then we will see that emotion everywhere. Everything will be colored by that emotion.

If you are avoiding grief, everywhere you look you see things to grieve.

If you are avoiding fear, everywhere you look you find things to be afraid of.

If you are avoiding disappointment, nothing lives up to your expectations. Everything is a disappointment.

You feel that?

There is also a mountain of research that shows repressed emotions make you sick. Physically ill. They WILL come out somewhere, somehow. You cannot repress them indefinitely. They are persistent little buggers. They WILL be expressed.

I work with clients on a process to feel an emotion. You won’t be pulled under by it if you allow it. You won’t get stuck in it…that’s what I used to think! IF you actually FEEL it. Explore it. But if you keep resisting it, you WILL stay stuck.

Isn’t that what they say about quicksand? If you struggle, it actually sucks you in MORE and you become stuck.

And where exactly IS quicksand? When you were a kid didn’t that seem like one of the top worries you would have as an adult - avoiding quicksand and how to survive if you accidentally stumbled into it? Have you heard John Mulaney do that bit?!  Hilarious!

If this resonates, if you’re afraid of the darker emotions, I’d love to help you feel an emotion that you know you’re resisting. It’s easier than you think. You can schedule a 1:1 coaching session with me and I’ll lead you through it. 

Thoughts Feelings Actions Outcomes

Thoughts create feelings (emotions).

Those feelings create actions.

Those actions create your outcomes.

This is a mindset formula that I learned in the 80s. I still believe it’s true. I’ve seen evidence of it over and over and over again.

I have studied this standard formula deeper over the years, picked it apart, questioned it, worked through it for myself and with clients, read different theories, listened to different experts...it’s been my obsession for a long time.

While I still think it’s true, I have found some important nuances and common pitfalls.

If you just look at the simple formula you might be tempted to try to just try to think happy thoughts and expect your life to be the perfect highlights reel. That doesn’t work. I tried it.

It’s kind of right, but not totally.

What creates the thought in the first place? Our thoughts come from the programming that happened in childhood - family & cultural messages- spoken and unspoken, experiences we had, and what we saw happening around us.

That programming lives in our subconscious and forms our beliefs, which create our thoughts. We assume these beliefs are all true. We don’t even question them.

Do not despair if you don’t like your programming - neuroscience shows us we can rewire our brain! We can look at and change our core beliefs.

Then there are theories that say repressed emotions actually create thoughts – a book called “Letting Go”, by David R Hawkins. I find this is also true.

See how the nuances to that simple formula are important?

Then there are the behaviorist theories that say action drives your thoughts and feelings – a trip to the gym, helping someone in need, and spring cleaning all prove this to ALSO be true.

So I have decided not to get caught up in which causes what so much as the simple awareness of our thoughts, and our feelings and our actions. Once we have clear awareness, we can choose the correct intervention that will give us the changes we desire.

It’s not that complicated really, once you get the hang of it.

I often work with clients on the thoughts-feelings-actions formula and how to use it to create the life they want. We look at our thoughts and challenge the beliefs that create them. We look at our emotions and question where they came from, which ones are we resisting? And we look at our actions, or inactions, to see if they align with what we want.

So if you’re feeling bleh, heavy, anxious, or if life just doesn’t quite feel like it’s the best it could be, maybe this is a tool you need to pick up and learn how to use. I’d be honored to help you.

photo cred: hunter haley via unsplash.com

A love letter to my favorite store. And what we can all learn from it.

My very favorite store in the whole wide entire jiganto humungous world is called Endora. It’s in Douglas Michigan. You might be wondering why you’d want to read about my favorite store. Trust me – I’ll bring it back around.

So. Endora. I have been SO INTO this store for years.

The first year she was opened she had Fleetwood Mac Fridays, where she played ALL Fleetwood Mac, and served you a cocktail. AND she gave a tarot reading if you spent $50 or more. She had me.

I had the pleasure of introducing the store to a small group of friends a few weeks ago on a weekend girls trip. One of them said, with a look of awe and wonder in her eyes: “Tracy! I get it now! I see why you love this place so much.”

The obvious reason is that it’s a small shop curated by an interior designer. It’s GORGEOUS and every single item is amazing. The jewelry, rugs, dresses, vases, books, bugs, prints, blankets…

But it’s SO much more than pretty items.

First: her personality. Layne is firey and feisty and irreverent and sassy and full of life and witchy and she is hilarious. My kinda gal. And her IG captions are THE best.

She loves travel and takes a few big trips abroad in the off-season to bring back amazing finds. She really connects with the place. It’s not just a “buying trip”. She meets and connects with women makers. She feels the vibe of the place. And she buys what speaks to her because it’s beautiful and has heart. And you FEEEEEEL that in her store.

And then she tells the stories! And lord knows I LOVE a good story.

My friend was admiring a necklace, so Layne showed her a photo of the pool at her hotel in Morocco that inspired it…that shade of blue in the stones and how they floated candles on the pool at night – the shiny gold. She came back from Morocco and connected with a jeweler that she admired and together they created a limited line of jewelry inspired by her trip! And now they do that for every one of Layne’s trips!

She told us about Kantha, the art of Indian quilt making that began with women in a low social cast who layered their threadbare saris to create beautiful quilts for their children. She told us how they did it, about the machine, what makes the design special, how to tell if it’s real or factory made, and that it’s a dying art. She sells the REAL kantha quilts!

Layne told us about a magical experience she had one evening in Morocco that inspired her to ask the club if she could buy their glasses. They said yes. And you can have one for $10!

She told us about when she was in a Parisian shop and in the back corner they had silk kimonos and big mirrors and women were having a ball trying them all on. She was enchanted and knew she had to have her own silk kimono corner in her shop. She sourced the vintage saris. And found a maker to create them for her. I have one. And so do 6 of my friends! I’m telling you. You fall under the spell as Layne welcomes you to the “kimono lifestyle”, as she calls it ;-). I’m wearing mine in this photo!

She told us about the Moroccan rugs that the women in a small tribe in the mountains hand make that have a code that tells a story through pattern and color. She rode a DONKEY for HOURS with a guide to get to this small village and stayed several days to learn how to “read” the stories these rugs tell. She “makes matches” between buyers and the story of the rug. Her stories about the matches she has made make you cry…literally. I had wet eyes. Like when a couple was looking for a rug and they had them all strewn about. The husband was drawn to a particular rug. Layne was “reading the rug” and it was a baby announcement. Then she noticed the wife was crying. She was going to tell her husband that that night that she was pregnant! On and on with those rug stories…

True magic happens in this store.

We were talking to Layne last weekend about the magic she has created. She said it’s because she loves the shop so much and she loves each one of her products so much and you can feel that. I believe that’s true. She also said it’s because you can FEEL the love and care of each woman that created the items. It’s true. You can feel it all. I literally stop when I walk into the store and sigh with delight.

This all has me thinking about love and intention.

About how you can feel energy, how it’s real, even if you can’t see it or put your finger on it.

It has me thinking about how I want every single thing I buy to have heart, and a story, because you can feel that when you walk into my house.

It has me thinking of the value of story and how it creates connection.

It has me thinking about excellence and all of its many forms.

It has me thinking about elevating others who you see doing amazing work.

It has me thinking about how doing what you love has a ripple effect.

I’m thinking about how important it is to generously offer your gifts to the world. All of it matters.

So yes, this is a love letter to my favorite store. But it’s also more than just a store. More than just a $10 glass from Morocco and some pretty dried bugs.

It’s creative inspiration. When we lean into our gifts and express them, we elevate others. We make people smile and laugh and feel love and connection. We inspire on many levels.

I’m inspired. Thanks Layne.

PS: You can – and should! tout suite. like this weekend - visit Endora in Douglas Michigan. You can also find her online at www.endorashop.com (she only has a fraction of her items there). And follow her on IG @endorabohemian. Her captions are the best ever.

Autumn Equinox & Mabon Season

Friday Sept 22 is the Autumn Equinox and opens Mabon Season on The Celtic Wheel (read about The Celtic Wheel here).

The invitation is to look to nature - what do you see happening and how is that reflected in us?

What are the animals doing? What are the plants doing? How is the light shifting?

We ARE part of nature after all, though our modern lives require us to be more intentional about our connection.

I find that making this intentional effort helps to ground me, to give me more energy, and helps me to feel a part of something bigger than my little modern busy life.

Here are a few themes and invitations for internal exploration:

• The light & dark are in perfect balance on the Equinox.

  • Where would you like more balance or realignment right now?

• We’re on the cusp of transition - the air is changing, the plants are transforming, the temps are cooling.

  • What transition is happening in you?

  • What do you want to change in your life?

• The natural world is moving towards completion. The growing season is nearing an end. The season of rest and regeneration is coming.

  • What do you need to complete?

  • How would you like to welcome more rest after the activities of summer?

• The animals are preparing for the winter- gathering food, making warm nests.

  • How can you prepare a warm winter nest for rest, peace and reflection?

  • Are there plants that you’d like to gather for winter nourishment? Maybe making a flower essence, fire cider, or an immune boosting winter tonic? I’ve been busy with this one. Would love to share some recipes! If you’re interested, reply to this email.

• Trees are dropping leaves – releasing. In order for new growth to happen in the spring, things must die in the autumn.

  • What would you like to let go of in order to make room for new life and growth?

  • What do you no longer need?

Here’s to more intentional connection to nature, which leads to a feeling of connection with ALL things. As always, if you’d like help, schedule a discovery call and we can talk about how I might best support you.

A Divine Message For You

As I got to my meditation spot this morning I heard “don’t forget who you are.” Then I heard to draw from my White Light Oracle deck (by Alana Fairchild). 

Maybe you need this message too?

“The doe survives and thrives while being in her own true nature. You don’t need to be something you are not. This oracle brings guidance that the healing you need will not come from logical sources. It requires a deep letting go and restructuring from within. Consider what practice and people can facilitate this.”

I’ll leave it at that. I bet you know what it means for you.

Ushering In Your Next Era

I have received several messages that the 8/8/23 Lion’s Gate Portal brought to a close an 8-year era for me that began in 2015. It’s been SO FUN to hear several of you respond that this 8-year era ending also resonates for you. Thanks for sharing with me!

The 2015 messages haven’t stopped. After I sent you my Monday newsletter I opened my email and clicked on a newsletter from one of my beautiful friends. The first line was…yup, you guessed it: “…in 2015”…I kid you not!

Then I walked upstairs and was telling James about all of my 2015 messages. 5 minutes later he came into my room with his computer and said “WATCH THIS!”. It was a music theory video he was watching that was dissecting Adele’s song “Hello”, from…you guessed it again…2015!

I’ve listened to Hello several times in the past few days. It feels like a conversation between my past and future selves. Plus…ADELE! THAT VOICE! That voice alone is pure magic. She could sing about dog hair and I’d be moved.

Back to past and future selves…

When I connected in meditation this morning it came to me how much appreciation I have for my past self – that Warrior who navigated the last 8 years. I’m so thankful for her ferocity and tenacity, for her curiosity, her exploration, for her allowing, her willingness to expand. She was a bad ass. I’m thankful that she wielded the swords when necessary, and that she curled in child’s pose to rest and receive when necessary.

She had a lot on her plate. She was far from perfect. But she stepped up and did the things.

I could have never predicted what my last 8 years would have brought. And I would have never signed up for it…well, I guess my soul signed up for it, huh? ;-). She’s so brave, my Soul, my Higher Self. And crazy! That girl/not a girl (reference from The Good Place show, which I highly recommend!) is so crazy!

So as I bring this era to a close, I’m exploring my intentions for my next era, also with the awareness that who the heck knows what it will bring! As the tarot card for my next era says: “Life is never predictable.” But I do want to put some intention into how I’m showing up, and who I want to be, whether I’m summiting a mountain or trudging through a valley or crossing a raging river.

Here are the questions I’m exploring:

• In this next era, what do I want to leave behind?

• What stories from past eras are now stale and lifeless?

• What new stories do I want to create?

• Who do I want to be? How do I want to show up? 

And I’ll close with this share – an IG post from Dr Deborah Quibell:

You don’t have to have the answers. You just have to have the courage to ask the questions.

You don’t have to know the outcome. You just have to have the courage to consider all possibilities.

You don’t have to have clarity. You just have to have the courage to listen to what you already know (and are perhaps ignoring).

You don’t have to know the path. You just have to have the courage to listen and figure out the next step.

If you’d like help exploring and creating your next era, this is exactly the kind of thing I do in my 1:1 Evolution Package! You can schedule a discovery call to talk about what you want and what our work together might look like for you.

Thoughts on Manifestation

Do you want this <<<<<< in that picture? I do!

It gives me a feeling of total freedom and joy and wild abandon. It’s my summer vibe! It reminds me of summer days when I was a kid on my banana seat bike called “Summer Blonde”, with the fringies on the handlebars and the basket with the plastic daisies, with nothing but time and adventures on my mind.

I went to a pranic healing advanced workshop this past weekend in Chicago. WOWZA! It’s related…trust me…

The workshop was focused on the art of manifesting/materializing what you desire…like this joyful summer lake scene.

One of the MANY things I LOVED about the training was that it brought together my worlds:

• my work in the psychology/human behavior world for 30+ years AND

• spirituality AND

• energy work/pranic healing AND

• the neuroscience I love to geek out on (the “To Be Magnetic” subconscious reprogramming work, among others).

Here are a few of my big take-aways from the weekend:

1. Thoughts are things. They are. In the pranic healing world they even call them “thought forms”. If you think something enough it becomes reality. It takes on physical form. If you think you have all the time in the world, time expands. Relating this to the summer lake photo ^^ If you think your summer is full of freedom, joy, wild abandon…you find it. You create it. It’s true. You can! I’ve done it. I’m doing it this summer! (PS: faking positivity and saying affirmations you don’t believe doesn’t work tho.) I’ve taught this theory and practice for 30+ years. Pranic Healing has revealed a different layer and angle to it that will benefit my clients even more! It’s why my coaching program and pranic healing work SO WELL together!

2. If your energy field is dirty, things don’t flow freely: messages, intuition, pings, opportunities, creativity, money, energy, etc. Just like our physical body, our energy body needs a shower every now and then. It gets dirty with negativity, other people’s energy, old stories, past lives, etc. If your energy field gets too dirty, it slows everything down and it can even manifest as physical illness. Pranic healing is your energy shower.

3. Meditate. It’s free. I can help though if you want help.

Here’s to manifesting the life experience that you want. As Master Choa Kok Sui, the developer of pranic healing, said: “You were born to manifest your greatness”!!!

What Part Is Wanting To Express?

During my daily morning meditation/ contemplation time I was instructed to draw a card from The Archeo deck, by Nick Bantock. This deck and the ways Nick suggests using it have been really helpful to me lately. The cards represent different architypes, different parts of ourselves that we all have. It has been fun to explore the expression of my different parts through these cards.

As I shuffled the deck, I asked for a bit of direction and encouragement. My call was for a card to reveal and tap into the part of me that wants to express right now. Who inside of me wants to come forward?

The Poet.

I’ll be honest, it brought some shadow…which was likely part of the point of the draw ;-). Examining our shadow is always helpful for growth. Do not fear the dark.

My first thought: my husband is the poet. He is an ACTUAL poet. A talented and published poet. And then: my sister is the writer. She got all the writing awards in school. People PAY her to write.

But the Poet part of me is wanting to express. That’s what the card is telling me anyway. Ha! So I read on, trusting, as I have learned to do with card draws. And most everything, really.

“The Poet lets his imagination run free! His words concentrate and distill (ok, my words do not do that. It’s more like they sprawl all over the page and roll around). His words make visible the ethereal, bringing focus to beauty, and inviting us to pause and consider.”

At this point, I was drawn out of my self examination and elevated into beauty and truth. I really FELT what art, in various forms, can do for us. I felt elevated. I wrote in my journal – “YES!!! THAT is what I want to do in my work. In my life.”

“An elegant romantic, he merges rich experience with the unexpected, synthesizing the essence of every moment, making the world more vibrant. His words help you filter through your thoughts and feelings in order to reveal your most noble self.”

THAT is EXACTLY what I strive to do in my work. That is the pinnacle for me. My ultimate goal in working with my clients.

“He is a distiller of word and image, a lyricist and champion of higher ideals, beautifully wrapped in string and rice paper…The poet will never let anything become ordinary (at this point the sun crested my house and shone on my face! Seriously. I can’t make this shit up). Through his eyes you will see the greatest of spiral galaxies set within the smallest of sea shells.”

“He is searching for the quiet truths, fiercely hacking away at the tarmac and weeds, attempting to reveal the peace hidden beneath the city’s sidewalks.”

“We require poets and artists to keep from stagnating. Such unconventional thinking threatens the status quo. Each day we must fight not for power or wealth, but for the words and marks that articulate the sharp taste of our existence.”

AHHHHH YESSSS!!!! That’s what I’m going for – in all of my various expressions.

So what and who is wanting to express in you right now?

If you’d like a guide to make the ethereal visible, to bring focus to beauty, to help you make your world more vibrant, to help you filter through your thoughts and feelings in order to reveal your most noble self, to help you elevate out of the ordinary, to find the quiet truths, to reveal the peace hidden beneath, to pull out of stagnation…THAT is EXACTLY what I do.

Come.

Schedule a discovery session and we’ll talk about what you want and how I can help. And if you’re ready, just go ahead and sign up for my 3 month 1:1 evolution program.

The End Of An Era

This past week has been a transformative time for me. 

• I took the next level pranic healing class, which is focused on developing our spiritual practice so that we can be clearer channels and therefore stronger healers. It shifted things at a cellular level. 

• And then Tuesday’s full moon energy - whoa!

• And the activation of the Lion’s Gate Portal tomorrow…

Whamy! Wowza!

Here's how it has unfolded…

My 16yo daughter, who has not been in a school building since 4th grade because of her autoimmune disease PANDAS, decided to go to high school…in a building! And she’s well enough! And she’s thriving. She started last week. It’s a big deal for all of us.

Then the year 2015 came to me a few different times:

• I have a Sleep Number bed and a part failed which has resulted in my side of the bed losing air! I end up sleeping on the slats. It’s like camping (the bad parts). When I called to get a replacement part they told me we got it in 2015.

• Then Scott and I were talking about a local artist that we loved who passed several years ago, Susan Hodgins. We loved her work and have regretted not buying one of her paintings. Then, 2 days later we were in a local shop and saw one of her paintings! There was a note beside it saying that she passed in 2015 and that The Harrison Arts Center was entrusted with her work, which you can purchase!  

I have since found out that Susan actually passed in 2014, but this got me to thinking about what was up with 2015?! So I grabbed my phone and looked at my Notes app for clues about what was going on with me in 2015. 

I found some interesting things:

• I started recording Ruby’s symptoms and illness patterns that year. It was a rough one. Full of confusion and fear.

• I was introduced to the work of a local TCM doctor who has since become a friend, a mentor, and a frequency activator for me.

• I sent a text to a friend about some ideas that would later become City Cricket!

• I met one of my best friends

Then I realized that 2015 was 8 years ago. So I started researching the significance of the number 8:

• Spiritual balance and symmetry

• Karmic patterns

• A symbol of gain – wisdom, strength, abundance, success

• In religious texts it symbolizes the beginning of a new era, a re-birth

I think the Lions Gate portal tomorrow (8/8) is ushering in a new era for me. All of these signs point me to that truth. And I FEEEEEEEL it! 

And pulling in the significance of my bed: the way I am held and supported, the way I rest and regenerate – I’m getting an upgrade, a new part.

Then I was called to do a tarot spread: the past era, where I am now, and the next era

Past Era - Two of Swords: “Inner conflict, the strategies you have in place are unsustainable, you are managing skillfully but will soon be exhausted, you must do something, the issue can no longer be ignored. Pause, take inventory and find your way through this struggle” 

Ummmm…YUP! Definitely the themes of the last 8 years.

Present – Ten of Swords: “Final release, surrendered, exposed. A new beginning! You have a view that you have struggled with long enough, it has grown old and is no longer useful. Surrender these ideas to create space for something new, it will change your life.” 

This has prompted me to list what old patterns and ideas, ways of thinking and being, do I want to release?

Next Era – Wheel of Fortune: “Unexpected change. Life is never predictable, change is inevitable and necessary. Sometimes we are summiting the mountain and sometimes we are trudging through the valley. It is simply life. Good fortune, unforeseen joy, forward movement.”

I’ll take that.

So here we are. The end of an era. The beginning of the unknown. I feel supported and ready. 

And I JUST CAN’T close this without pointing out that Taylor Swift is on her “Eras Tour”!!!!! Coincidence? I don’t think so ;-).

the creative process

I made and decorated this cake for my daughter Ruby for her birthday. I gotta say, I was quite proud! This, along with a convo I had this week with an artist friend has me reflecting on the creative process and it seems applicable to more than just cake:

I started my process by getting a sense of the vibe I wanted: soft understated colors and nature-y, she likes pink and green. I looked at some Pinterest cakes for ideas and inspiration. I didn’t end up creating anything close to what I looked at, but they got my creative juices flowing. I bought some blush pink fake flowers and a soft pink candle holder. I knew I wanted a few blooms from the yard for a touch of actual real-life nature.

Then I just let go.

Honestly, I believe it was channeled. I was aware at one point that I was going in and out of the house with my scissors scanning the garden beds like a possessed madman. I said to myself about ¼ of the way in – What am I doing? Where is this going? This does NOT look good. <my brain talking>

When I was done, I felt like I had been in a fog, in some other dimension.

Now listen, I realize this is not Michelangelo artistry here, although my sister DID call it a triumph and crowned me Queen of Cakes…I’m just sayin…

But the creative process is what I find fascinating - when you let go of your gripping brain and let the process flow, co-create with The Universe.

Whatever you’re creating when you’re in that state seems to be amazing.

I had an inspiring conversation this week with my artist friend and pranic healing client Amy about her creative process. She is an ACTUAL artist. Like really good. People pay her for her paintings and she has a studio. You can check out her work here and see for yourself.

Anyway…Amy was telling me about her creative process. She casts the framework – the intention/idea/direction/emotion, and then The Universe co-creates with her. And she must complete it in the form that she cast. She swears the painting changes when she steps away, as if the artist fairies (that’s my term ;-)) come in and help - “she’s trying so hard, we’ll just touch it up a bit for her.”

I remember Elizabeth Gilbert telling the story in her book “Big Magic” that her friend Ann Patchett wrote a book with the exact detailed and specific story line that she had started to develop and abandoned that same year. She swore that when they met in person and kissed goodbye that the inspiration for the story left Elizabeth and was transferred to Ann.

It’s magic.

Creativity – on any level, in any form – is magic. Whether it’s creating a human in our body, a meal, a painting, a garden, decorating a room, writing a book, creating a safe space for clients, a podcast, a song, a vision for your next job…you name it.

When we let our human brain rest and allow the magic to come through, you never know what masterpiece will unfold.

My heart dresses in black and dances

This Mary Oliver poem reminds me of the emotional rollercoaster week I had a few weeks ago…full of family and old friends, laughs and tears. 

My aunt died, my dad’s oldest sister. She was the last of his living siblings. That feels sad. She was a remarkable woman. I got to connect with my cousins from different parts of the country that I don’t see very often. They are cool and hilarious. We told lots of family stories. That felt good. 

A day full of sadness. Full of happiness. 

“My heart dresses in black and dances.”

My nephew Michael, who has special needs, graduated from high school that same week. As he walked across the stage, he paused in the middle, turned to look at the crowd with a huge smile. He just stood there and soaked in the moment. We all teared up and the crowd roared with claps and cheers. My eyes are wet again now, as I think about it. 

His party was a great celebration! I again got to connect with lots of friends and family that I don’t see very often. I “sang” Karaoke with Michael, who is mostly non-verbal, but made happy sounds. Although I could say the words, I canNOT carry a tune! We made a joyful noise ;-). It was so special to connect with him in that way.

A week full of happiness. Full of sadness. 

“My heart dresses in black and dances.”

I loved all of the social time. All of the connections and reconnections. All of the deep and shallow and funny and sad conversations. And it was too much activity for my immune-compromised body. I had some heavy-duty fatigue for the full week afterwards.

I’m thankful for the week, with the full range of emotions. 

“My heart dresses in black and dances.”

I talked to people about the energy work that I do. I was surprised by some of the reactions from people that I did not expect - the rural Indiana deer hunter got it. I talked with a cousin I rarely see about energy and signs and belief in the unseen. We were on the same page. I was not expecting that.

“I have small frog brothers and tall thin heron brothers.”

Then my daughter, who has suffered greatly with a severe case of the autoimmune disease PANDAS, turned 16 and decided she wants to go back to a school building this fall. The fact that she is able to even consider this is astounding. Her last year in a school building was 4th grade because she has been too sick to manage traditional school. We stopped all formal education in 2020 because she was too sick for even basic daily functions. She’s been unschooling and healing since then. She took personal responsibility for her health and has healed herself so much in the last 3 years that she wants to do this. And believes she can. And I believe in her determination. 

I am both full of pride and full of anxiety. Is this the best thing for her? All the what ifs…

“My heart dresses in black and dances.”

My friend Dara reminded me that all of this can be true at once – sadness and happiness, tears and laughs, fatigue and gratitude, pride and anxiety. 

“My heart dresses in black and dances.”

And Mary Oliver reminds me that we’re all connected. We’re not as different as we might expect. We’re all working together to figure it out. 

“I have small brothers and tall thin brothers and my heart dresses in black and dances.”

rediscovering yourself

I did not draw the “easy parenting experience” card. 

I had lunch with my long-time, pre-kid, friend Chris today. I was updating her on my children and on my personal growth journey as a parent and a person. She said: “Wow girl! You have come a LOOOONG way.”  

I said yes, I sure have, thankyouverymuch, deep bow…and most of the way kicking and screaming. It was HARRRRD. I resisted a lot of it. It was rarely joyful, if I’m being honest. It was NOT AT ALL what I envisioned when I thought about being a mom and having a family. It was the opposite. 

My oldest just turned 23. Porter is my husband’s biological son and I adopted him when he was 5, when Scott and I married. My youngest, Ruby, is the daughter Scott and I had together and she just turned 16. They are both in a really good place right now after years of serious struggle- mental health, a severe auto-immune disease, many other health issues, learning disabilities, the trauma of abandonment. 

Walking children through all that is a tough road. 

My Human Design chart says that I am meant to have shocking experiences, learn from them and share. Yup. I feel seen.

I have had some shocking experiences. I learned. Now I’m sharing.

One of the many good things that came out of those dark times and all of those shocking experiences was my spiritual awakening and journey to connect with a higher power on a deep level. All of the human stuff was failing me. I needed something more.

I also learned to care less about what people think. I am pretty certain that many people thought (and undoubtedly still do) that we were parenting ALL WRONG. Or maybe (undoubtedly) that was just my projection, because I thought I was doing it all wrong! I just had to let that go, although it was a slow release. 

The way I thought I would parent did not work for us. The way many people around me parented did not work for us. We tried the standard formula, and many other formulas. We tried how we were raised. Those did not work either.

My kids required me to rethink pretty much EVERY. SINGLE. THING I thought I knew. They required me to go deeper. They required me to step into my power. They required me to ask for help. They required me to trust my instincts. They required me to do better and be better. I have come a long way because of them.

They are amazing people because of all of that struggle. They are so cool and strong and independent. They know their mind. They know what they like and don’t like. They don’t tolerate bull shit. They are not swayed by society norms and expectations. They go their own way. They are talented and they do what they like. They are hilarious.

In the last year or so I’ve felt the struggle of parenting ease up. I’ve been able to begin to rediscover myself. Who am I NOW? What do I like and not like? I don’t like white chocolate and I like to go to bed early. 

What do I WANT? 

What do I want to do, where do I want to go, who do I want to be with? It’s a new phase. It’s exciting. It’s a process. I’ve been focusing more lately, with the help of my coach, on what I WANT. For a while I got real stuck in what I DIDN’T want, what was wrong, the problems I thought I needed to fix. I don’t do much fixing anymore.

I’ve found coaching and pranic healing energy work to be hugely helpful for my growth. That’s why I offer those services.

I have also found that being in groups of like-minded women is nurturing and inspiring. I’ll be offering a group later this summer.

I’ve been through some things. And it has made me a better coach/guide/healer. I won’t tell you what to do. That never helped me. But I can hold space, share tools, reflect, and help you connect with your own truth on a deeper level.

And one last thing: this post was inspired by my friend and Human Design Wizard, Cameron Coots. She’s in the earlier years of motherhood and shared her experience in a blog post this week. It was so inspiring to me and prompted me to reflect on my own journey. I encourage you to head over to read her post. And sign up for a Human Design session with her. They are illuminating and inspiring and have helped me in very practical ways to live in alignment with my authentic self. 

There are so many helpers along the way. Reach out and grab a hand. Or offer one. You don’t have to walk it alone.

The Grandmothers on Pranic Healing

I was instructed by The Grandmothers this morning that they had a message for me in Book 1 (A Call to Power, The Grandmothers Speak. By Sharon McErlane). If you haven’t heard me talk about these spiritual guides, you can read the background here. 

In this story Sharon, the author, did a Shamanic journey to The Grandmothers for relief from a 2-week bout of unexplained depression and anxiety. Her description of the anxiety made me giggle: “My mind is just full of itself.”

Here’s the story:

“The Grandmothers comforting arms closed round me and they created a cocoon and swung me back and forth inside it. Then one of them reached inside my body and extracted something from my middle. I watched as she pulled out a black, insect-like thing whose barbed pincers had been stabbing at me. This crawly thing had created my depression. It had made everything in me hurt and feel somehow wrong.

Then they pulled something else out of my stomach. I heard a sound like “pow!” as air whooshed from my lungs and another black thing exploded out of me. I watched them plunge in through my spine and fling dark objects into the air.

After a few minutes my breath grew calm and I heard myself say, The Grandmothers are breathing power into me.

This stuff, the cause of my misery, had been so well hidden that I hadn’t known it was there. My training as a therapist had taught me to believe that the pain of unresolved issues from childhood is what causes most depression and anxiety. But the black things The Grandmothers were pulling out of me went way beyond this explanation. I had no understanding of this stuff. It was primitive, primordial.

‘That’s enough for now’, they said. ‘This is just garbage from the past.’ These black things had originated in lifetimes long, long ago.

‘You must be strengthened’, they said. ‘Your aura, your bones, vertebrae, digestion and breathing. Let the power of your garden heal and fill you. It will strengthen you.’

Y’ALL!!! THIS IS PRANIC HEALING!! We’re extracting the energetic junk that gets in the way of the normal flow of prana (life force energy). This “garbage from the past”, as the Grandmothers call it, can come from previous lifetimes, from this lifetime, from negative thought patterns, from other people, from toxins in the environment, and who knows where else really. There is an element of mystery here. But it works! 

When our energetic flow is blocked, our body, mind and emotions suffer. Removing this junk strengthens our aura (the energetic protective layer around your body) and all other bodily functions so that everything flows with more ease.

My clients have reported feeling physical changes, pain relief, emotional shifts, increased creativity, opportunities coming, clarity, messages from their guides, money, increased energy, among others. It’s astonishing! Wanna try it? Skip on over to my pranic healing page to schedule a session.

It's Beltane Season

Monday May 1 marked the beginning of Beltane season on The Celtic Wheel. 

It’s time for flowering and beautiful expression! Time for birthing new ideas, projects, habits. Spring cleaning and clearing. 

Beltane is about celebrating and giving thanks for vitality, life and fertility returning to the earth.

We welcome abundance – blossoms on the trees, blooming flowers, growing leaves, baby animals. The land starts to offer food again. In Indiana it’s morel mushrooms, garlic mustard, violets, and soon asparagus.

As the daylight continues to lengthen and strengthen, we feel our inner vitality and light growing too. 

Beltane is a time for blossoming & expanding into our potential.

What potential is wanting to flower in you?

In what ways is your soul wanting to blossom?