“I have done nothing all summer but wait for myself to be myself again.” - Georgia O’Keeffe
This is me << Well, not literally. That’s Georgia, but I’ve had a rough summer too, Georgia!
My daughter, my husband and I all got pneumonia in 2-week waves starting July 4th. Scott and I are not yet fully recovered. And we had to put our dog to sleep, and we found a mold mystery in our bedroom closet…and I could add a litany of other things to this pile but you get the idea.
I have been reading from The Grandmother’s book 4, as I navigate these challenges. You can read more about them here if you’re interested. I have found their teachings to be massively helpful over the last several years. I find comfort and direction in their lessons. Here’s the quote I recently turned to in their book:
“Let go of judgment and simply love. It’s not your job to fix things or figure out what to do. We (The Divine) do that. Your job is to stand in love with your hearts and arms open wide. When you do this, you make room for us to enter in. You make room for us to live and act through you. Keep it simple. Choose love. Choose love every time. Say yes to loving and then let everything else go. When you are happy, love. When you are sad, love. When in doubt, choose love. Always, in every moment, choose love. Make that choice and the correct action will follow.”
This pissed me off. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEEEEEEAN!? “Choose love.”
I didn’t seem to understand this concept of “simply choosing love”. That frustrated me.
I feel like I’m a pretty loving person. I love a lot of people and things. But what does it mean to “choose love, to stand in love”? Like on a practical level…what does that mean? It seems like a basic and silly question. But I didn’t get it.
Spoiler alert: I’m not here to tell you the answers. I’m using both present and past tense as I write: “didn’t know, don’t know”, because I have had some insights but I’m still exploring and wrestling with it. I’m inviting inquiry. I’m exploring the topic with curiosity and maybe you’re interested in that exploration too.
I decided to start by thinking about how I love my daughter Ruby. I thought about how she delights me, how funny she is, how caring, how capable, how thoughtful, how determined, what an affectionate little love bug she is.
Those thoughts created a warm fuzzy feeling. Ok. That feeling is love. I get it. But now what…
I shared my angst on the subject with a few wise friends and I’ll share their perspectives:
My friend Amy said to her “leading with love” means to find your steadiness – that centered, grounded, solid, knowing feeling - and then love radiates from you with no effort. She said “like when you stand next to an amazing tree and you feel better…the tree is just being a tree. It’s not trying to be or do anything else. It’s just standing steady in its tree-ness.”
My friend Chris said it’s different for different people and at different times. She shared a practical example about how she gets so angry about politics, but that anger makes her feel bad and it doesn’t change anything or anyone. So she found a group that is writing post cards to people who are registered Independents in swing states. She feels this is something proactive that she can do to make a difference. Likewise, when a family friend of hers was killed many years ago by a drunk driver, she channeled that anger and grief into creating a local MADD chapter.
Then I remembered “Heart Math”, a tool that I use and teach, and the “Twin Hearts Meditation” that I learned in Pranic Healing workshops. Both of these tools bring your focus to your heart space, direct your mind to think of something that makes you feel the feeling of love, and then you expand that feeling. In the case of Heart Math, they have measured with an actual scientific instrument that your thoughts and feelings literally change the frequency of the space around you.
You’re just being a tree and others feel it ;-).
So that’s where I’m at with this business of choosing and leading with love.
So many different ways to choose love and lead with love and spread love. I’m on the lookout for more…
What do you think? How do you see it? I’m curious. I’d love for you to share in the comments.