COVID Lessons

We’re in the season of Ostara on The Celtic Wheel (March 20 - May 1). We see these energetic themes of Ostara showing up in nature and in ourselves, because we’re all connected:

• expansive and exuberant

• lifeforce rising

• a coming alive

• contemplation of the dance of opposing forces and finding balance - dark and light, masculine and feminine, inner and outer, fears and desires

• celebration of birth and renewal

• a time for new beginnings

• plant seeds for the future

Ostara energy has shown up for me this season in ways I didn’t expect. I have seen and experienced and felt ALL of these energies this season.

I woke up not feeling well on March 28 - the day I was heading to Wisconsin for a week of pranic healing training and retreat. I was REAL DING-DANGED excited about this trip! I thought it would be expansive, exuberant, a coming alive, an energetic upgrade, new experiences and new information that would be explosively exciting, like the spring blooms bursting out of the ground.

You feel my vibe? I was REAL excited.

I was bummed that I didn’t feel great but figured it was probably just a little cold and I pushed on (I did test negative for COVID). I can be willful, and some may even say stubborn (you’re laughing aren’t you Mom?). When I have my mind set on something NOTHING will stop me! Not the sore throat, not the body aches, not the rising 102 temp…nothing!

Here’s the short story: It was COVID. I avoided it for 3 years and THIS was the day it came. I tested negative until Friday morning so I was permitted to be masked in the back of the conference room for the first 2 days. 

Then I was alone in my hotel room for 3 days watching HGTV and being SICK! 

Oh yeah, and a tornado went through that Friday night! Resort staff knocked on doors and evacuated guests to the CREEPY old basement. A tree fell on a room. Luckily there were no injuries at the resort.

There are only 8 pranic healing masters in the WORLD and 2 of them were there. There was some serious energy at that resort folks!

None of this was what I expected. But here’s how I have come to see it:

• I had the opportunity to ask for help- I always need practice with that

• I was cared for- thank you Paula Lord, and other healers

• I had the opportunity to deeply rest and relax for 3 full days

• When you are that sick there is no better place to be than in the energy of 2 masters of pranic healing and over 200 healers from all over the world

• I got what I needed. I always do. Sometimes I don’t know what I need, so I am redirected.

When I look at that list of energetic themes of Ostara season, I have experienced ALL of them this season. I love that about The Celtic Wheel – it offers an awareness of the many energies flowing through us, shifting, expanding us, and the lessons that nature mirrors for us.

I’m finally feeling better after 2+ weeks. I’m feeling like I’m coming alive again. Another Ostara theme. I know the rest was necessary. I know that seeds were planted. I know this is a new beginning. There is always a new beginning. 

How has Ostara energy presented in your life? Have things gone as you expected? What lessons has the season brought you? How will you choose to use them? 

Affirmations

Can we talk about affirmations?

I’ll start here: I’m not criticizing affirmations. However, when used alone, I have found they fall flat and are often not effective for getting the outcome you desire.

Spirit, mind, body and emotions all contribute to wellness. Affirmations fall into the mind category. They are a type of mindset/thought work.

And I have some thoughts about thought work.

Here are a few pitfalls I have experienced with affirmations – from now on when I say affirmations I am also including mindset and thought work in the same category, k?

First: We can use affirmations to avoid feeling emotions. Ask me how I know.

Ok, since you asked, here’s a personal example: a few years ago I was driving to meet a group of fun peeps for dinner. I felt irritated and angry. I tried to reason/affirmation my way out of it – I love all these people. Why are you irritated? It’s going to be fun. I am blessed to have these people in my life. On and on.

Still irritated.

Then I decided to look at my emotions using a process that I learned in the book “Letting Go” by David R Hawkins. I also use it with my clients. The theory is that our “problematic” thoughts – the ones we don’t like or want – come from repressed emotions. If you repress an emotion, it pops up as a thought. We cannot talk ourselves out of these thoughts with other thoughts/affirmations. But when we go through the process of identifying and feeling the repressed emotion, the unwanted thought dissolves.

I tried it. It worked!

I realized the emotion I was repressing was sadness. My family didn’t want to go with me and I was going alone. That made me sad. I didn’t want to be sad so I stuffed it. Here came the unwanted thoughts – Why am I driving to a restaurant in the suburbs? I’m tired and don’t feel like going, etc. Those thoughts created anger. Vicious circle.

Once I went through the process (in like 3 minutes while I was driving) and shed a tear or two (that’s how the emotion wanted to be processed), my mood suddenly lightened and I felt great! My thoughts also shifted.

I processed it all before I was even half way to dinner and had a wonderful time!

Second point: We are encouraged to use affirmations to create our reality – to manifest what we want. There is a school of thought that says we manifest from our subconscious and any limiting beliefs that are lurking down there.

We can say all of the positive affirmations we want but if our subconscious mind doesn’t believe it, then nothing changes. The work here is to get into your subconscious, find those limiting beliefs tucked deep away, and reprogram them. There’s a process for that that I can explain if you’re interested (I like the work of Lacy Phillips at To Be Magnetic for this).

There are a few other theories too, but this isn’t a Psych 303 class so they didn’t make the syllabus for this email. These are the 2 different theories and processes that I have found to be the most helpful in shifting my reality and mood. Affirmations can then follow and support that.

I believe there is absolutely a place for affirmations. I use them. I like them. Thought work is powerful. I have a giant ongoing list of positive thoughts and beliefs that serve me. I follow mindset coaches and I even have one I am working with 1:1 right now. BUT if this is your ONLY tool, you may want to swing by your local hardware store and see what else is on the shelf. Trust me, that impact driver was TOTALLY worth it. My old electric screwdriver with the (gasp) CORD wasn’t getting all the jobs done.

Wait, we’re not talking about actual tools are we? But if we were I’d talk more about an impact driver.

So do the affirmations. But don’t let that be your only tool. That’s why they created tool boxes – we need more than one tool.

If you need additional tools, I offer a 3-month 1:1 evolution package where we play around in my toolbox and find the perfect tools for the job.

Ostara Season!

Since I started following The Celtic Wheel of the Year a few years ago, I notice that I start to feel the shift of energy a few weeks before the festival celebration date. 

On The Celtic Wheel, the year is divided into 8 energetic cycles – the 2 equinoxes, the 2 solstices, and 4 that land in between each of those.

March 20 marks the spring equinox in the northern hemisphere and the beginning of Ostara season.  The Spring Equinox is a point of perfect balance. Night and day are of equal length and in perfect equilibrium. How are you finding balance?

Ostara is a time of moving out, strengthening, budding. This is the time to literally and figuratively plant seeds for the future. A time for new beginnings. A time for taking action on the dreams you’ve been having during the winter season. 

My motivation is starting to grow.

My daffodils bloomed this week (pictured here)! And boy did that full moon pack a punch- I have a new shot of energy. The natural world is coming alive, the sun is gaining in strength and the days are becoming longer and warmer. 

Ostara is a time to celebrate birth and renewal. 

Since Ostara is all about starting fresh, this is a great time to set new intentions for yourself, your spiritual practice, your work. 

What area of your life needs attention - a little spiff up?

Here’s to fresh new beginnings! Happy Ostara!

Imbolc Energies

We’re in Imbolc season on The Celtic Wheel. I love this season. It’s about 

new life stirring

new beginnings

renewal

clearing and cleansing to make room for the new

Do you feel any of that stirring in you?

All sorts of stuff is brewing within me. New ideas, creative projects, old stories that want to be cleared, glimpses of the next phase coming in.

I’m getting help from a business coach and a personal coach to get things moving. I’m getting pranic energy healing. Everyone needs a support team.

I’m also really craving rest. LUXURIOUS rest is how I’m looking at it. How can I find a rest time in my day and see it as a luxurious time to restore? Not recover because I’m exhausted. But for the pure luxury of it.

I hope you’re enjoying the gifts of Imbolc season.

Climbing Grain Bins

There is a favorite family story about 3-year-old Tracy. 

My dad came to pick me up at my grandparents and I was in the barn lot with my Grandpa Miller. Dad asked me why I was crying and I said that Grandpa spanked me. Dad chuckled and said that if that was indeed the case that I most certainly deserved it and what in the world did I do?!

Turns out I tried to climb the grain bin. For you non-farmer types, that’s about 30 feet tall! They have very small metal ladders on the outside that go straight up- 90 degree angle. That climb is unnerving to most people. My palms are sweating as I type! 

I was THREE YEARS OLD! I tried it once and Grandpa got me down. I did it again and he threatened to spank me if I tried a third time. I didn’t care. I was not giving up. I made a third attempt. 

I was a DETERMINED 3 year old! And I’m a determined 53 year old. 

I don’t care who is going to spank me. I’m fucking climbing that ladder, although it makes my hands sweat and my heart beat fast. If I get pulled back down, I’m trying again. And again. As many times as it takes.

I want to see the view from the top. 

If you have a grain bin that you’d like to climb, let’s work on it together.

We’ll meet 1:1 for 3 months and transform things. We’ll do pranic healing energy work and pull in other tools from my tool box.

You'll clear blocks, gain clarity, feel connected, develop confidence in yourself and your knowings. 

And I’ll distract Grandpa while you skitter on up there to the top! Head on over here for deets.

photo by my hubs.

Wintering in Yule Season

For years I have felt the energy of January as a bridge month. February 1st feels more like my new year. I vibe more with the Chinese on their new year date. 

January is when I rest and doodle - energetically and literally. I purge and refresh everything. I dream and make plans. I don’t put pressure on January. I take the whole month to sink in and feel into what it is I want out of 2023, and beyond. 

On The Celtic Wheel, we’re in Yule season – from December 21 – February 1. A time to rest and contemplate the dance of darkness and light.

A time to embrace the darkness: the space where new beginnings are born - humans, seeds in the ground, inspiration. The dark, quiet, sacred womb of creation. In the silence of the darkness we find necessary rest and introspection. In the darkness we are able to be renewed.

A time to welcome the coming light: faith in the future. Hope. New light brings new life. Expansion. Expression of our truth. In the light we feel the fire of our power.

How are you relating to the darkness and the light? What’s your January vibe?

I invite you to join our Celtic Wheel circles and/or work with me 1:1 if you’d like to dig deeper into your sacred cycles.

Freedom & Power

The Grandmothers brought me a lesson this week:

“You must step forward and be willing to hold more power.”

They give a lesson in this chapter of the book about the concept of evil (Our Love is Our Power, by Sharon McErlane, p 55).

I didn’t really relate to that term, evil. It seems like an archaic term, something that only applies to a serial killer, something very categorical, conspiratorial. But as I noticed my resistance to the term (resistance being a pattern of mine lately that I have been releasing this Samhain season), I began to think of different ways to think about evil. Evil as the opposite of “good and right”. The opposite of “life giving” and vitality. 

One of the themes of Samhain season (the current season on The Celtic Wheel) is about the balance of polarities, the light and the dark, low vibrational frequency vs high. I’ve been playing with all the different forms of that theme this season and this is another lesson on the topic. 

So back to my story…lessons on evil. 

The Grandmothers invite the reader in this lesson to ask The Divine (Your Higher Self, God, Source, Allah, whomever you resonate with) how evil shows up in you. How does it worm its way into you? 

So I asked and my answer was apathy and distracted busyness. Yes. That rings true. When I am in those states I’m not standing in my power. So I took a deeper look at that. 

For me, “taking a look at that” is a combo of journaling, noticing (having an awareness of self and my shenanigans, and how it actually FEELS in my body), and messages that come to me. This week the messages have been from a Pranic Healing client and from a podcast. 

Here’s what I found:

FREEDOM is SUPER important to me. I don’t love responsibility, or commitment, or people relying on me, or being held accountable to something or someone. This shows up in every personality profile I’ve ever taken. I just want to be fancy free! To follow my whims. As I wrote this in my journal, here’s what came next: 

Do I? Is that really true? What am I doing when I “follow my whims” and therefore avoid showing up? Nothing that feels good! So that’s actually a load of shit- that’s how evil shows up in me. That’s how evil keeps me small and keeps the vibration of the world low. Maintaining chaos through fear and apathy. So it’s not about “freedom”, Tracy. 

“Freedom” makes you feel amazing. Being on the back of a motorcycle, riding in a boat, water skiing, speaking, pranic healing – THAT feeling is freedom. Not showing up to your work, your calling - NOT freedom. That’s a different feeling – tired, heavy, dark gray, blobby, cloudy. Not restorative. Not freedom. Freedom for me is expression in all the ways – speech, dance, writing, art, clothing, decorating, cooking, making – knitting, potions, a wooden side table.

Side note: Sometimes “following my whims” is a good thing. I don’t need to be too rigid. But I know, I can feel, if I’m avoiding, or if it really is the best thing for me to take off to the woods instead of cleaning the house. You feel me? You know the difference too.

If we all stepped into our power, stepped up to express what’s inside dying to get out – we wouldn’t be so afraid of everything happening in the world. We wouldn’t need a nap cuz we’re worn out by the too muchness of it all. We would shift the tide! Just doing our THING shifts the tide! Whatever our thing is.

When we play small, others do too. When we step up into our power, it inspires others to step into theirs. You know when you’re around someone who is living large, who is full of vitality? You can literally feel that and it motivates you to do the same. That’s what I mean by “keeping the vibration of world high or low”.

So back to the command The Grandmothers gave me: “You must step forward and be willing to hold more power.” I’ve been resisting that. And it doesn’t feel good. So I’m going to try the other way – stepping up into it. 

Maybe you want to join me? Have you been resisting standing in your power? Holding and expressing power looks different for all of us. We’ve all been called to do that in a special way. And we’re all being called to actually DO it! So let’s go!

photo cred: my hubs

Let Them Know They Matter

I’ve been thinking of my dad a lot in the past week. He would have turned 81 this year. My dad had a certain “je ne sais quoi” - I love this French term for “a quality that cannot be described or named easily”.

People loved my dad and just wanted to be around him. I remember arriving at his hospital room one afternoon as a man I didn’t know was leaving. I asked who he was and my dad said, a bit mystified, “He’s a customer of mine. I’m so surprised that he stopped by to see me.”

If you knew my dad, you would understand. Everyone wanted to just be in his presence. With no agenda. Just BE with him. You felt better when you were around him.

One man said to me at his funeral “Tom would have described himself as just an ordinary man. He was anything but.”

My cousin/friends David & Rylin Rodgers wrote a beautiful tribute to him in the Lebanon Reporter. They said “Tom made you feel like you were the most important person in the world. Like you were a part of something greater. You knew you mattered.”

That was his magic. I don’t know how he did it. I’m certain he didn’t know he did anything special. But it was THE MOST special thing that anyone can do. He reminded so many of us that we matter.

What a gift it was to be his daughter.

I’ve been thinking about how we can all do that for people. Whether it comes easy to you or not, what an amazing gift to give people this holiday season – to let them know they matter. With your undivided attention and interest, help them feel like they are the most important person in the world at that moment.

Happy Thanksgiving week!

Easy Does It

Easy does it!

I got that same message from 3 different sources in 2 days! 

First, I drew the goddess card Oonagh:

“Easy does it. There is no need to hurry or force things to happen. everything is occurring in perfect timing. Call on Oonagh to guide your transitions in creative and magical ways. Make time for the relationships and projects that speak to your heart. Do what’s important to you with absolute devotion. There’s no competition for your true life’s purpose so there is no need to worry, hurry or feel that you have to force things to happen.”

The next day, The Grandmothers told me to open to a page 98 in Book 1:

“Take it EASY. Let us do the work. You must go at the right pace. The right pace is full of grace, as a bird in flight. Everything in its right time. The proper rhythm is never hurried. In nature there is no hurry. Life grows as the seasons come and go. Plants and animals that are forced to grow fast are not healthy, do not live long, do not bear well. This is very wrong. Rushing human beings - this is very wrong. Each according to its own design. A natural pace, one in rhythm with the flow of life. Yes.”

A few hours later I turned on my favorite podcast, The Line, to listen to the September energy message:

“Gentle. Rhythm and flow. Gentle is how you will go. It may feel tight at times. There will be a push and a stretch but gentle is all you need to know. Take space. Take breaths. You are floating, not swimming. Floating along as the water moves back and forth, to and fro. The moment you start to use effort, you are swimming. There is a current that will take you and make it more difficult. So just release, let go, and trust that you will flow. Lying on your back, soaking up the sun, feeling the support beneath you. You are one with it all. Breathing in harmony. Gentle release. Observe, see, feel, hear, touch. Then release. The guidance you receive shows you the way. There is no need to doubt. You do not need to control. The more you release and trust and flow, the more you step down this golden path of destiny leading you home. Let go and float. This is light. Just float.”

Obviously, I’m being called to explore how I can show up with more ease. 

• How can I bring ease into everything this season?

• How can I let The Divine guide my work, instead of pushing?

• How can I receive?

• How can I allow flow?

I can still DO. I’m not feeling like this means to lay on the couch and watch movies - although there are times for that! 

I have lived alot in the misconception that “work” has to be hard and exhausting, and that rest has to be lying on the couch doing nothing. 

I’m relearning and redefining what work and rest mean for me. Because I get to choose. Here’s to the exploration of “doing” with ease!

I'm NOT just a fragmented human!

I had a dream. I was rushing through the airport to make a flight. I realized when I got to my gate that I had forgotten my luggage and it was a 1.5 hour round trip drive to go back and get it. But I had to have my stuff!

I was running through the airport, but I was moving at a snail’s pace. I wasn’t sure what was slowing me down. Then I noticed I was wearing really high heals and the floor was slick. I kept going. Then I noticed that I was wearing a really large and really heavy pool floatie - the ring kind, ya know? This made navigating narrow spaces and tons of people really tricky. 

I came to an escalator. It went down a loooong ways and then suddenly it reversed directions, so I had to walk down the up escalator! 

So many challenges and obstacles!

Then I ran into someone I knew that I hadn’t seen in a long time. I wanted to talk to her but it was slowing me down. 

All the while I was problem solving in my head and calculating timelines. 

I was also navigating dangers - are those terrorists? What is that smoking gas can? People scurried about saying it was going to explode. 

I almost reached the parking garage when I realized I had left my purse at the gate! …with my keys, my ticket, and my ID. So I had to turn around and navigate back through the whole ding danged maze again! 

I could go on with the details, but you see the pattern here?

It’s been a whirlwind last 6 weeks. Lots of fun and wonderful things. But too many. I’m feeling behind and agitated by all of the little human details piled up that seem so important. 

The antidote? Well here’s my morning so far:

I walked outside at 5am and noticed that we can actually SEE the full moon eclipse in Taurus today! I didn’t know it would be visible here. It was remarkable. 

I did yoga in the dark to the Devi Prayer chant that I have been really loving lately. It helps me feel grounded and centered.

I sat in my meditation space and The Grandmothers called me to a reading: 

“Stop what you’re doing right now and think of your connection to the earth. Pull back from that eternal busyness in your mind. Turn to your heart and become aware of your body. Drop into the weight of your body and keep dropping until you feel yourself at one with the earth. You aren’t separate from the earth. You’re not alone. You’re linked with Mother Earth always.” 

The reading lead me through a meditative exploration of the materials of the earth - the textures, light, color, temperature…using all my senses. I did it.

“Let yourself open up to what She has to give you: peace, steadiness, healing, rest, nourishment, minerals, and much more. She is giving it all. Receive it now and rest in her embrace. When you’re scrambling around in your mind, racing from thought to thought, from image to worry, worry to image, you won’t feel good. So keep on diving ever deeper into your own essence. Keep on connecting with Mother Earth. You’re not a fragmented human being. You’re not someone racing from stimulus to stimulus, someone who’s run by fear and agitation. NO! You are great. You’re one with all of life. That is who you are. Own that! Release the worry now. Release the fretting, the fuming and the despair, and instead let yourself be held. Feel yourself being held. Move into the deep stillness at your core. Rest while Mother Earth fills you. She will do that each time you open to this place within you.”

Then I open my email and see a message from Guru Singh: 

“The message within this Taurian Full Moon Eclipse is self-exploration; self-realization; self-nourishment, and creating containers of spacetime to hold the nourishment. Intuition in this moment cultivates deep peace and a groundswell of resourcefulness without all the emotionally chaotic attachments. This Eclipse is a high-emotion charge being added to the atmosphere. Slowing down is a necessity. Work with the Full Moon Eclipse to slow down to become more efficient and effective (speeding up successes in other words) is a perfect process for this moment.”

Then I remembered a quote that Sydera shared at our Sunday Samhain Soul Circle. I wrote it down because I knew it was for me: 

“The fastest way to get to where you want to go is slowly.”

Isn’t it wild how we get the support we need if we just pay attention and listen? 

Is getting those Halloween decorations put away REALLY that critical? Those 2 baskets of laundry WILL get put away. It’s really not THAT big of a deal-e-o.

If you’re stuck in the details of daily life, run down by the hustle and bustle, check out my invitations to help you recenter and connect at a deeper level; to remember that you’re not just a fragmented human racing and running about. No! You’re great! One with all of life. That is who you are. I’m here to help you remember that.

Re-enchantment

I have some autoimmune issues that bring me some serious fatigue every now and then. I’m in that phase now. Here’s what came up a few days ago to provide a reframe. I wonder if it may also apply to you in some way?

During my morning quiet time I was drawn to pick a card from my Sacred Cycles oracle deck. Just the title “sacred cycles” made me think – what if I look at these spells of fatigue as just a part of the sacred cycle? Kind of like the Red Tent days of resting when you had your period. What if I treat these phases like that? An opportunity to slow down and be more than do.

The card I drew was The Maiden:

“A youthful vibrancy. An embodiment of delight found in endless exploration. There is an opportunity for new beginnings. This infusion of energy works to re-enchant you with what is most present and needing your attention.”

What if I look at the fatigue as an exploration? What are the opportunities, gifts, lessons?

These fatigue times do focus me on the present – what has to be done right now and what is optional? It’s back to the basics when the fatigue comes.

I have always thought of fatigue as being “no energy”, but really it does have an energetic quality. It offers a reset. A pause before a rebirth.

“It is a time of rediscovery and growth.”

Fatigue is an invitation to see things in a different light than my norm. My monkey mind cannot go in 5001 directions with ideas and inspiration like it normally does.

“The Maiden archetype is alive within you and ready to guide you with a pure heart and bright eyes. To expand this fresh energy, listen to your Inner Child. What does she need most at this time?”  

Immediately I thought – A NAP! And yes, of course! Children need naps! When the fatigue comes, it’s my nap time, so that when I wake up I can be recharged with new fresh energy.

“This energy works to re-enchant you.”

Yes, Fatigue. Thank you. I’ll rest now and look forward to re-enchantment.

I believe in the women

I’m not scared. I believe in the women.

My friend Leslie and I were talking the other day about the state of the world and how the young women in our lives are filled with angst about it. Here’s how I see it:

Yes, it is easy to make a case that we’re basically fucked. Women’s right to choose being stripped away, climate change, the economy, racism, increasing divisiveness, on and on. It seems grim.

None of this is new. Every generation has had to fight these battles. They may look different, but it’s the same themes. And you know how we prevail? Because the women lead.

• We may lead from underground - stitching quilts to show the map of the Underground Railroad for slaves to escape safely.

• We may lead quietly - the witch in the woods that grows the healing herbs that other women come for after dark.

• We may lead loudly - the suffragettes who marched for the right to vote. My great great aunt Nellie Dawson, pictured her, was among them.

The ways we lead will differ. The ways we’re repressed will differ. What does not differ is that women will not give up. We will band together. We will help each other. We will not stop. We will lead in whatever way we are called. We will figure out a way forward. I believe in the women.

We all have gifts to contribute and we need them all.

• You may be the fighter with the picket sign at the State House (my niece).

• You may be the one who pulls together the email of practical ways and templates to make it easy for others to voice their opinions on the issue at hand (my sister-in-law just sent a wonderful email about pro-choice action steps. LMK if you want it).

• You may read the book about climate change and share practical ways that each of us can help (like my friend Dara just did).

• You may move back to your family farm to regenerate the land and cultivate healthy food for your friends and family (like my sister is doing).

• You may be called to be a support to those people by offering gatherings and energy healing (like I am doing).

• You may be called to affect policy in DC (like my friend Rylin is doing).

All around me I see women stepping up to do their part to make things better. So what is the gift that you want to contribute? Because the world needs you, my friend.

tools for a life reno

Are you in need of a personal reno? I have some tools to share!

My dad was very talented at fixing things and problem solving. He was known at work as Tinker Tom. He was always taking things apart and tinkering with them, fixing them, and building new things. He built a one row planter that lots of farmers borrowed each year, a giant coffee warmer from a water heater for Kiwanas events, to name a few.  

He once told me when I was marveling at his building & fixing skills that having the right tools is the key. I think that is an understatement, but I see the truth in it. Buying that new impact driver this winter instead of using my 1987 drill was a game-changer. The right tool made a HUGE difference in my project.

My dad had a big workshop in the barn full of tools. This picture reminds me of it :-). He had tool boxes mounted on his truck bed that were packed. He had a workbench in the basement overflowing with tools. The man had A LOT of tools. And he was able to create great things with them – remodel houses, fix most anything that was broken, build beautiful furniture.

My sister got Dad’s tinkering talents, not me. But this morning I was thinking about how I have his talents with humans, instead of objects. I like to tinker with people’s minds and help them remodel, fix, and build new realities. And having the right tools is really important. I have so many tools from the past 30 years in the self-development business. My toolshed is packed. I have some in the trunk of my car, and in my basement workshop.

My 1:1 coaching process is just like when my dad and I remodeled my first house: we went over the plans together and came up with a design. I shared some ideas. He shared some ideas. We came up with a plan together that was better than either of our individual ideas. Then we grabbed the tools and got to work. As we worked, we realized adjustments needed to be made. That old house had some secrets in the walls that we weren’t expecting, so we moved the closet. We came up with some clever ideas along the way that weren’t in the original plan. We adjusted again.

It was a great partnership. We had a blast doing it. It was hard and messy work. Sometimes it was frustrating. But we made it fun and we created a super great space. 

Just like that house project, in my 1:1 coaching we come up with a plan together. Then we start remodeling and creating something new and beautiful. We run into issues along the way to work through. We make adjustments. We revise the plan. We get a new tool from the toolshed that makes the job easier. 

You need a lot of tools for a big remodel project. And I have lots of tools. Breathwork, meditation, communication wheel, connecting with your guides, movement, CTFAR, and LOTS more. 

If you’re looking to remodel your life – maybe it’s just a room update, maybe it’s a whole house reno down to the studs - I love reno projects! We’ll work together to come up with a plan and we’ll work side by side to make your dream a reality. It’s not easy work, but it’s worth it. I have a lot of tools that I am happy to share to make the job easier. And we’ll have fun doing it together! 

Head on over to my 1:1 page where you can contact me for an appointment.

Summer Solstice & Litha Season

Let’s talk Celtic Wheel. Do you know about it? If not, check it out.

The Summer Solstice ushers in Litha Season on The Celtic Wheel. This juicy energy of Litha is with us until August 1. Litha is the season of

abundance, shining in full potential, flowering and blossoming

I love to use the Wheel to guide my awareness and attention through the seasons. It’s a way to elevate my perspective from my own little world and privileged problems to the larger world that I am a part of. It helps me to feel connected.

Intentionally noticing how the themes of the natural world are showing up in me helps me to feel more grounded.

As is true for the natural world, this is a time for us to bloom, to come alive in the light, to step into our fullness. It’s a time to shine brightly and give generously of our gifts and talents. 

We can use this Litha energy to inspire us, to uplift us, to energize us. So how do you work with this energy?

I’m a journaling kinda gal- ever since Mrs Beck in sophomore year of high school introduced us to it. You may find these journal prompts helpful:

• What parts of my beauty and purpose are ready to blossom?

• How will I nurture that blossoming?

• What are some ways that I can step into my fullest potential?

• How can I shine? What does that look like?

• How can I bring my best gifts to the world?

• What abundance is being generously offered to me that I can accept with grace and ease?

• I notice these many displays of abundance around me:

I also encourage you to set aside time to observe what’s going on in nature around you and how that is also happening, or could happen, in you. I do this outside in the mornings with some coffee.

Can you invite those themes into your life?

Do you feel a lightness? A sunny fire inside? Are you blooming with ideas? Are you appreciating all of the abundance around you?

How can YOU dance with the energy of Litha season? Have fun with it! It’s here to support you. How can you embrace it?

photo cred: my hubs. ultimate bee-lover.

The Magic Dark

I’ve been in a magic dark period*

I sometimes call it a funk. What just clicked for me is that this is a pattern and it’s actually a good thing! 

I realize now that the funk means that I am in a phase of the transformation process. I am in the chasm between who I was and who I am becoming. It’s that phase before I gain the understanding and feel the goodness of the transformation. 

That phase is uncomfortable. I feel confusion. I feel lonely. I feel resistance. I constrict.

I started noticing the pattern in November and marked my journal entry for reference the next time I found myself in that phase. So this week I went back to it. I received this guidance from The Grandmothers**:

“You are looking for the answers outside yourself. You will never find them there. Turn within, to The Divine (God, Source, Jesus, your Higher Self – whatever word makes sense to you). Whenever you become overwhelmed by confusion and wonder what you are to do next, know that you have been caught in the fog of despair that hangs over the earth. Don’t succumb to its gray hopelessness. 

If you look to the world for guidance, you will become increasingly fatigued. The antidote is to call on us, or any form of The Divine. Even though sometimes you may feel like you’re alone, you are not alone. You are in the process of becoming more than you have ever been. 

Sometimes you get lost in the ups and downs of the world. When you do, you forget that you too are blooming. Let go of all the things you have ben grasping at, your fears and anxieties. Let them go. We will hold you in love.”

I received 3 additional messages that day with the same theme:

1)    A text from the TBM program* that read: “Sometimes we feel lonely because there’s a lack of deep connection to ourselves, not other people. Connect back to yourself and your heart space. What do you need? What emotions are coming up? What’s your soul craving?”

2)    An email from a coach I follow with the subject line “it’s up to you to give yourself what you’re needing.”

3)    Reading about Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross in the book “Wild Mercy” by Mirabai Starr.

Ok I got the message! When I’m feeling bleh, down, in a funk, confused, lonely, constricted – COME BACK TO THE DIVINE!

This connection to Self & The Divine will generate what I need. It’s on me. No one else. That is actually a relief. 

It’s totally within my control and ability to get what I need and turn the ship around. 

That’s empowering!

Also – that phase, those feelings…all part of the process of being human and transforming. There’s no way around it. You must travel through it. Believe me. I have spent the better part of my life investigating ALL of the paths around it! They lead no where good. 

I’m learning to let go of the resistance and constriction.

If you’d like help connecting with Self & The Divine, help navigating the chasm of transformation, there are 3 ways I can help you:

1.     1:1 coaching: You have all of the answers within, but sometimes they are buried so deep, or the noise is so loud, that you need help rediscovering them. Sometimes you just need to learn a few tools. With a master’s degree in counseling and almost 30 years of group and 1:1 work in the wellness field, I’ve gotcha covered. Click here for more info. We’ll talk about how the process might look for you.

2.    Join Soul Circles: We gather every 6 weeks either on Zoom or in-person to connect with the themes of The Celtic Wheel, an ancient calendar and map rooted in the rhythms of the natural world and the interconnectedness of all things. These gatherings are a time to connecting with self and others, to nourish your soul, to reflect and recharge. More info and sign up here.

3.    Celtic Wheel Seasonal Group Courses: I offer 4-week courses for each of the 8 seasons on The Celtic Wheel. We use modern psychology & ancient wisdom to explore ways to embody and align with the energies of the season. As a community, we are exploring different methodologies of connection - meditation, journaling, breathwork, discussion, movement, sound, and more. The magic of these groups is INSANE!!! Head over to my Events page for info on the next one, or contact me to get on the mailing list.

References:

*the “magic dark” term & concept comes from the work of Lacy Phillips, To Be Magnetic. It’s a process of working with the subconscious in order to manifest the reality you’re craving.

**The Grandmothers: If you haven’t heard me speak of them before, you can read about them here.

Lighten the fuck up

I got this message from a 1:1 coaching client and it made my day:

“Just wanted to say thanks again for today. I know I was a bit all over the place and unstructured, but after a tough couple weeks, the time was absolutely what I needed. I definitely didn’t feel exhausted and not wanting to work on me. Please know that you make a difference. I’m grateful for you and our sessions.”

Sometimes we need to let go of the structure. We need to allow ourselves to be “all over the place.” We just need to talk and laugh with no agenda.

One of the tid bits we uncovered in our coaching session was that my client has decision fatigue. They have been in a volatile, stressful, and every-changing job for a year. It requires constant problem solving and shifting of plans. They said they feel like it’s a new job every single day and they can’t settle in. 

Constant fast-paced decision making for 8+ hours a day makes one tired! This has undoubtedly amped up the anxiety they feel, which we are addressing through breath techniques and mindset. And it’s working! 

But my client has had a few weeks of just being tired of the effort. Tired of trying. Tired of everything. 

And I can relate! How about you? 

So in our session we ambled about in our conversation, we shared stories and laughed. It was exactly what my client needed. There were a few ah-has, and lots of laughs. 

We talked about finding ease. They decided to ease up on their normal rigorous running/training schedule. It was feeling like another job, instead of an enjoyable stress release.

And same for coaching - it should not feel like another exhausting job. You should not dread having to “work on yourself”. This stuff should be FUN! Coaching IS FUN! 

I’ve been feeling the same way as my client in the last week or so. The people in our lives are always a mirror for us.

I shared with a friend that one day last week all I wanted to do was lay on the couch and watch Netflix all day but I didn’t allow myself to do it. She said – DO IT!! That was clearly what I needed and I heard that message loud and clear. I bet I would have bounced back to my normal vital self faster had I allowed it, instead of all the pushing forward and efforting.

Another friend told me an unbelievable story last week about how he ended up in an interaction with ELTON JOHN many years ago. Elton told him: 

“You take yourself way too seriously! You need to lighten the fuck up!” 

Elton. I love you. 

Again…mirrors being held up before me. I AM GETTING THE MESSAGE!

So the next time you’re feeling exhausted, all over place, unstructured, look for what could offer you some ease. Maybe not what you think you “should” do. Not “working on yourself”, not the “healthy” or “right” thing. Maybe what you (I) need is some good ole indulgence: An ice cream sundae? A day off to watch Netflix? An afternoon of thrifting? Yeah do that! It can be just as good for you as that yoga session, the meditation, or the green juice.

If you’d like some help finding more ease, I would love to work with you 1:1. Navigate to “1:1” at the top of my page and we can talk about how we might work together to get you where you want to be.

And sometimes the answer may be eating ice cream while you watch The Bridgertons for 8 hours! 

Excuse me while I go do that…

Sacred Cycles

I am in St. Petersburg, FL this week and stumbled upon this sweet little bookstore called Tombolo. There were lots of synchronicities at this store:

• The owner went to college in Indiana.

• She moved to St. Pete 2 years ago from Ashville NC, an area that Scott and I just explored in October and fell in love with.

• The book I am reading (about witches!) was on top of a random stack of books by the register. It’s not a new book.

• My husband has a huge art/poetry book called “Lost Words” that I was drawn to last week and took along to my retreat. Again, not a new book. It was displayed behind the counter!  

I could feel that something was going on energetically.

While browsing, I was drawn to an oracle deck called “Sacred Cycles”, by Jill Pyle & Em Dewey. I was drawn to it because of my work with the cycles of The Celtic Wheel.

I’m into this concept of cycles. My former self had a tendency to resist cycles. I wanted to always be “on”, high energy, happy. The Celtic Wheel has helped me to embrace and flow with natural cycles – the moon, emotions, the seasons, hormones, plants, animals, life in general.

EVERYTHING has cycles and there is value in every phase of the cycle.

My new oracle deck says:

“We are collectively being called to return to the wise ways and to our ancestors’ traditions. We are awakening into our awareness of life’s deeply rooted rhythms and the lessons reflected to us in Earth’s ongoing cycles. The wisdom of ancient cycles connects you to the celestial bodies that make up the infinite universe; the Earth and its incredible flora and fauna; and our miraculous physical bodies with their innate phases. May this oracle support you as you learn to flow with the rhythm of sacred cycles.”

YES!!!! My work with The Celtic Wheel – our soul circles, my group courses, my 1:1 sessions – is about flowing with natural rhythms.

We entered the season of Ostara on March 20. Ostara celebrates this time of new beginnings, birth and renewal, planting seeds, both in the natural world and in ourselves. The energy of this season is about coming alive, lifeforce rising. We feel a sense of expansiveness and exuberance.

This phase of the year brings a feeling of rejuvenation back into the world and our sacred body. Ostara season restores a sense of eagerness to begin new exploration. We begin to feel reinvigorated. This phase holds the promise of endless potential as a new cycle begins. 

The card I drew this morning says: 

“I am unlimited potential. What am I currently co-creating with the Universe? How might I expand the vision I have to greater heights?”  

“You are encouraged to approach your current circumstances with openness. As a time when vital life force increases within the body, this phase represents the excitement that comes from realizing how many potential paths are available to you. The universe awaits you to choose where to anchor your energy.

You are being asked to look ahead to the next phase or cycle of your life and creatively craft a vision that aligns with your desires. The elixir of hope is alive within you now. It has the potential to guide your dreams to new heights as you dance with the Divine in your chose direction.”

YEAAAAAAS!!!! I just LOVE the synchronicities. They are everywhere for all of us if we are paying attention. 

What Is The Celtic Wheel?

Let’s talk about The Celtic Wheel, shall we? It starts way back when – hundreds of years before Christ. The Celts were an ancient society scattered around modern day Europe. Their name, given by The Greeks, means “The Mysterious Ones” because their 3 fundamental tenants seemed strange to the Greeks. They were a matriarchal society, they had great reverence for the earth & they believed in the close proximity of the spirit world.

The Celts were a people very connected with nature. Seems like all of our ancestors were, right? They didn’t have a dial to control the climate in their nice energy efficient house. They couldn’t jump in their car and drive to the grocery store to get asparagus in December. They were naturally more connected with nature because they had no choice. But the Celts had a greater reverence for that connection it seems.

They recognized that they WERE nature, they were a part of it. These days we seem to look at nature as a thing that we appreciate and soak in on the weekends at the state park in our cool hiking shoes and fancy yet understated Prana pants. 

The Celtic Wheel is a way to GET INTO IT, not just walk along it’s surface. 

I remember visiting the Grand Canyon years ago and standing at the rim thinking – yes, this is amazing, but I need to get down IN IT to experience it. I wasn’t feeling anything. It almost felt like I was just looking at a picture until I really got down and dirty in it, communed with it. Not just standing and looking.

Back to those ancient Celts. So they created this calendar that marked 8 seasons in the year. Each season would kick off with a gathering and celebration. Community is important. It was then. It is now. We need more of it. 

They would have rituals to mark the season, traditional foods they pitched in - much like our modern day holidays, but they took it deeper. They had trees they honored each season, animals whose energy represented the energy of the season, they watched the patterns of the sky. They GOT IN IT!

Following the Celtic Wheel allows you to connect deeper with the natural world and recognize how what you observe there is also showing up inside of you. Because we’re all connected, right? It helps you to be more intentional about how you’re living. It brings a deeper awareness. It helps you to feel more grounded in something bigger than yourself. 

Each celebration on the wheel offers an opportunity to pause, reflect, connect, celebrate, and set intentions for the coming weeks.

I’ve been following the Celtic Wheel for a few years now and hosting gatherings for the festivals. It has deepened my connection with…well…everything really. I’m more aware of my inner energies (going slower to restore in the winter months), the plants that are just now beginning to bloom, the changing angle of the sun throughout the year, the various critters in my neighborhood and how they live. It delights me to watch our front porch chipmunk!

It has expanded me. It has rooted me. I have a feeling of being a part of this community of nature. 

Connect with your truth and stand in your power. It’s my mission to show up to that daily and help you do the same. It’s easy to feel isolated and alone in our modern society. If you’re craving connection and community, the Celtic Wheel is a beautiful antidote.

I can help you navigate in a few ways:

• Check out my Soul Circles page for information on Celtic Wheel festival gatherings.

• Join one of my 4 week Celtic Wheel Group Guidance Courses - on my Events page

• Head over to my 1:1 page if you’d like guidance on your unique situation.

• Sign up for my newsletter email list to receive information & musings on the seasonal energies.

• Follow me on IG & FB at citycricketcoaching

• And if you’re really into this Celtic Wheel thing, LMK and I can recommend some books for a deeper dive.

Here’s to a deeper connection.

Celtic Wheel graphic from: thewhitegoddess.co.uk

Fuzzy Feelings

I have had a periodic strange sensation in my lower left back for…umm…a few years probably. It’s not a pain. I can only describe it as feeling “fuzzy”, and tingly. I picture it like this photo. It happens periodically. It’s weird and no one has had any ideas about what it could be. I can’t figure it out. I just notice it with curiosity when it pops up and mostly ignore it.

Lately I’ve been thinking about it at an energetic level. I’ve been noticing what’s going on when it fuzzes up - is it sign for me to pay attention to something? I found a year or so ago that when my ear rings it’s my Guides telling me they have a message for me. So I stop and ask “what’s the message?” and I get a clear message. I tried that with my back fuzz but it doesn’t seem to be the case here.

Since learning the Pranic Healing modality this fall, I have realized that it might have something to do with my back spleen chakra. This chakra plays a vital role in physical well-being and life-force energy, among other functions. People can unknowingly energetically plug into it to get energy and vitality from you.

I’ve also been studying alot about unprocessed and stored emotions and how those affect the body.

This morning in meditation I heard my Guides say they had a message for me. I wasn’t really looking for a message and I wanted to get to work. But I have learned to listen when I get these messages so I picked up one of The Grandmothers books*, opened it randomly, and here’s what I read:

Sharon, the author, was in meditation and communing with The Grandmothers. She explained “my back was inflamed and I squirmed as I lay there.” HER BACK!? Tell me more Sharon…

The Grandmothers explained to her: “Long ago, pieces of ‘gravel’ got stuck underneath the fabric of being inside you. An old state of consciousness is causing this sensation in your body. Pain has been stored in this spot for a long time and is now coming to the surface. Once upon a time you became so fascinated by the negative circumstances and events of your life that you became unable to release them.”

Sharon saw a pile of hot stones in her body at the site of the pain. As the Grandmothers began to remove them they said “carrying these inside you is not only painful, but these weights from long ago create the distraction of pain that prevents you from moving forward.”

Whoa. Ok. That felt like a pretty clear message that this fuzzy feeling is unreleased and stored circumstances/events/pain/emotions. I’ve been working on my “state of consciousness” and old belief systems that no longer serve me as I take my business to the next level. My fuzzy feeling could also be that. This passage in the book pulled it all together for me. Pranic Healing it is!

So what’s my point here? There are messages for us EVERYWHERE! When we notice patterns of information that we are coming across, it’s not by chance. People tell me I am so tuned in, but I’m no more tuned in than you are. I have just trained myself to get quiet and listen, and to pay attention to all of the signs around me. There are answers and support everywhere if we silence the noise and distractions and pay attention. It’s available to all of us.

If you’d like help silencing the noise, check out my December Alignment Course on my “Events” page. We’ll be practicing tools to get quiet and tune in. Also if you’re interested in Pranic Healing, let me know. I’m integrating this healing practice into my work.

Here’s to listening to our messages, our gut feelings, and noticing the patterns.

*If you don’t know what I mean by “The Grandmothers books” and want more info, email me. I’m happy to share.

**photo cred: My Man <heart>

I Had A Dream

So I found myself in the back seat of a canoe sailing down I-65, which was flooded into a fast-moving river. There were 8 of us and I didn’t know any of them. We were making our way north from Indy to my hometown. We were going super-fast with no oars in the water. There was no steering, we were just flying along. 

You’re already seeing how this relates to my real life, aren’t you?

I suddenly realized that no one was paying attention. Who was in charge here? Did I need to take charge? Was I SUPPOSED to be in charge? I voiced that I hadn’t been paying attention to our location and we may have passed the exit. The river was so high and fast and I was in the back and it was hard to see the signs. I asked everyone to pay attention to the signs. No one was. Dang.

I decided to exit us off at the next opportunity so we could stop and evaluate the situation. A gas station attendant type person told us that we had long since passed our exit and we were in a town I had never heard of. I decided to take charge and directed us to a parking lot. I told the group we needed to call someone to come and get us and somehow get this huge canoe back to the city. Who has a cell phone? Dumb looks at each other. No one has their phone. Who has money for a pay phone (do those even exist anymore)? Blank stares. No money. Furthermore, our clothes were soaking wet and we had no shoes. We had zero resources. And darkness had just fallen.

We realized then that we were in the parking lot of a huge church and people were streaming in for the service that was about to begin. I said we needed to go inside and find a phone and ask for help. As we walked inside, someone handed me money, thinking we were homeless. I wondered again- was I in charge? I didn’t really want to be but it was increasingly apparent that no one else was taking the lead or really doing anything to get us out of this predicament.

My group found a pew where they settled in for the service. I was infuriated! You’re just going to SIT HERE!? I realized AGAIN at that point that I needed to take the lead. “We have to call our people and let them know we’re ok. They’ll be worried! It’s dark now and we have to find a way home. Who has a car that can hold all of us? Who has a truck for the canoe?” I started problem solving and taking charge and directing. I felt confident then. And capable. I was a reluctant leader, but I stepped up when no one else was. I was effective. I started feeling hopeful because I was able to manifest money. I didn’t even ask. It was just GIVEN TO ME once I got clear on what needed to be done. Then one guy in the group came back with some other helpful resources, like a map. 

Around this time, I woke up. My take-aways were many, but here are a few key points that I think we can all relate to: 

• I have been feeling depleted and disconnected the past week or so. You ever feel that way? Too many things on my calendar and I can’t keep up - like I’m in the back seat of a run-away canoe on a high and fast river. But hey- I’m in charge here! This is MY life and I’m the leader of it. I can pull off and stop. I can regroup and make a plan. 

• I looked up the significance of the number 8 since I noted in my dream that there were 8 of us in the group. Here’s what I found…I can’t make this shit up, people! “8 symbolizes balance and inner stability. It is a message from angels that you need to settle things in your head and make peace with yourself. That's the only way to make spiritual progress in your life. It signifies hope, new horizons, and bright future.”

• When I step up and take charge of my life, I can see what needs to be done and make it happen. Once I embraced that role, once I got out of the (literal) back seat and engaged, things started moving forward. 

• I am capable of gathering resources. Even when I feel like I have none, they always appear. I can manifest what I need. I needed money and someone just handed it to me. That simple. Once I got clear on what needed to happen, things began to fall into place. All it takes is attention and intention.

Sometimes life is a high fast river. Sometimes we get swept away to parts unknown. But we’re in charge. When we realize that, and assume that role in our life, things happen. So here’s to clarity, realizing we’re not alone and resources are not scarce. Here’s to new horizons and inner stability.

If you could use some help and accountability with these concepts, head on over to my events page, check out our Soul Circles, or consider 1:1 coaching with me. You’ll find all those links at the top of my home page.