I had a rich discussion with a pranic healing client last week about darkness and light. We talked about being open to the full range of emotions.
The timing was exquisite as we have just entered the Samhain season on The Celtic Wheel. The invitation this time of year is to let go of what is no longer needed, which requires exploring the darkness, the negative space.
Are you afraid of darkness?
The veil between the seen and unseen worlds is said to be thinnest this time of year. Many cultures have rituals to connect with ancestors and loved ones who have passed. It’s Scorpio season, she reminded me, and little scary creatures visit.
But there is richness and learning in the dark scary spaces. And WE decide if they’re dark & scary, or if they’re interesting and full of gifts & growth.
I met with 2 clients this week who are wrestling with not wanting to feel “dark” or “negative” feelings: shame, disappointment, grief, regret.
They want to hand pick the emotions they feel and prefer only the light and happy ones. They just jam those unwanted feelings down.
Believe me, I get that! I’ve been there. For most of my living years, in fact.
In my Mindset workshop last Friday we had a discussion about feeling emotions and how you are not your emotions. One participant challenged me on that - she said, “If I’m sad and can’t get out of bed, then I am depressed. That’s who I am.”
To which I replied: would you agree that you are <insert her name…Jane, we’ll say>.
J: Yes.
T: And if you are sad, are you still Jane?
J: Yes.
T: And if you are angry, are you still Jane?
J: Yes.
T: And if you are frustrated, are you still Jane?
J: Yes. Especially then :-).
You get the idea?
Emotions are a part of the human experience. All of them. Emotions are not you, they are something you experience. They come and go. As humans we WILL experience the full range of them. If we try to ignore or hide from or repress an emotion, then we will see that emotion everywhere. Everything will be colored by that emotion.
If you are avoiding grief, everywhere you look you see things to grieve.
If you are avoiding fear, everywhere you look you find things to be afraid of.
If you are avoiding disappointment, nothing lives up to your expectations. Everything is a disappointment.
You feel that?
There is also a mountain of research that shows repressed emotions make you sick. Physically ill. They WILL come out somewhere, somehow. You cannot repress them indefinitely. They are persistent little buggers. They WILL be expressed.
I work with clients on a process to feel an emotion. You won’t be pulled under by it if you allow it. You won’t get stuck in it…that’s what I used to think! IF you actually FEEL it. Explore it. But if you keep resisting it, you WILL stay stuck.
Isn’t that what they say about quicksand? If you struggle, it actually sucks you in MORE and you become stuck.
And where exactly IS quicksand? When you were a kid didn’t that seem like one of the top worries you would have as an adult - avoiding quicksand and how to survive if you accidentally stumbled into it? Have you heard John Mulaney do that bit?! Hilarious!
If this resonates, if you’re afraid of the darker emotions, I’d love to help you feel an emotion that you know you’re resisting. It’s easier than you think. You can schedule a 1:1 coaching session with me and I’ll lead you through it.