tools for a life reno

Are you in need of a personal reno? I have some tools to share!

My dad was very talented at fixing things and problem solving. He was known at work as Tinker Tom. He was always taking things apart and tinkering with them, fixing them, and building new things. He built a one row planter that lots of farmers borrowed each year, a giant coffee warmer from a water heater for Kiwanas events, to name a few.  

He once told me when I was marveling at his building & fixing skills that having the right tools is the key. I think that is an understatement, but I see the truth in it. Buying that new impact driver this winter instead of using my 1987 drill was a game-changer. The right tool made a HUGE difference in my project.

My dad had a big workshop in the barn full of tools. This picture reminds me of it :-). He had tool boxes mounted on his truck bed that were packed. He had a workbench in the basement overflowing with tools. The man had A LOT of tools. And he was able to create great things with them – remodel houses, fix most anything that was broken, build beautiful furniture.

My sister got Dad’s tinkering talents, not me. But this morning I was thinking about how I have his talents with humans, instead of objects. I like to tinker with people’s minds and help them remodel, fix, and build new realities. And having the right tools is really important. I have so many tools from the past 30 years in the self-development business. My toolshed is packed. I have some in the trunk of my car, and in my basement workshop.

My 1:1 coaching process is just like when my dad and I remodeled my first house: we went over the plans together and came up with a design. I shared some ideas. He shared some ideas. We came up with a plan together that was better than either of our individual ideas. Then we grabbed the tools and got to work. As we worked, we realized adjustments needed to be made. That old house had some secrets in the walls that we weren’t expecting, so we moved the closet. We came up with some clever ideas along the way that weren’t in the original plan. We adjusted again.

It was a great partnership. We had a blast doing it. It was hard and messy work. Sometimes it was frustrating. But we made it fun and we created a super great space. 

Just like that house project, in my 1:1 coaching we come up with a plan together. Then we start remodeling and creating something new and beautiful. We run into issues along the way to work through. We make adjustments. We revise the plan. We get a new tool from the toolshed that makes the job easier. 

You need a lot of tools for a big remodel project. And I have lots of tools. Breathwork, meditation, communication wheel, connecting with your guides, movement, CTFAR, and LOTS more. 

If you’re looking to remodel your life – maybe it’s just a room update, maybe it’s a whole house reno down to the studs - I love reno projects! We’ll work together to come up with a plan and we’ll work side by side to make your dream a reality. It’s not easy work, but it’s worth it. I have a lot of tools that I am happy to share to make the job easier. And we’ll have fun doing it together! 

Head on over to my 1:1 page where you can contact me for an appointment.

Summer Solstice & Litha Season

Let’s talk Celtic Wheel. Do you know about it? If not, check it out.

The Summer Solstice ushers in Litha Season on The Celtic Wheel. This juicy energy of Litha is with us until August 1. Litha is the season of

abundance, shining in full potential, flowering and blossoming

I love to use the Wheel to guide my awareness and attention through the seasons. It’s a way to elevate my perspective from my own little world and privileged problems to the larger world that I am a part of. It helps me to feel connected.

Intentionally noticing how the themes of the natural world are showing up in me helps me to feel more grounded.

As is true for the natural world, this is a time for us to bloom, to come alive in the light, to step into our fullness. It’s a time to shine brightly and give generously of our gifts and talents. 

We can use this Litha energy to inspire us, to uplift us, to energize us. So how do you work with this energy?

I’m a journaling kinda gal- ever since Mrs Beck in sophomore year of high school introduced us to it. You may find these journal prompts helpful:

• What parts of my beauty and purpose are ready to blossom?

• How will I nurture that blossoming?

• What are some ways that I can step into my fullest potential?

• How can I shine? What does that look like?

• How can I bring my best gifts to the world?

• What abundance is being generously offered to me that I can accept with grace and ease?

• I notice these many displays of abundance around me:

I also encourage you to set aside time to observe what’s going on in nature around you and how that is also happening, or could happen, in you. I do this outside in the mornings with some coffee.

Can you invite those themes into your life?

Do you feel a lightness? A sunny fire inside? Are you blooming with ideas? Are you appreciating all of the abundance around you?

How can YOU dance with the energy of Litha season? Have fun with it! It’s here to support you. How can you embrace it?

photo cred: my hubs. ultimate bee-lover.

The Magic Dark

I’ve been in a magic dark period*

I sometimes call it a funk. What just clicked for me is that this is a pattern and it’s actually a good thing! 

I realize now that the funk means that I am in a phase of the transformation process. I am in the chasm between who I was and who I am becoming. It’s that phase before I gain the understanding and feel the goodness of the transformation. 

That phase is uncomfortable. I feel confusion. I feel lonely. I feel resistance. I constrict.

I started noticing the pattern in November and marked my journal entry for reference the next time I found myself in that phase. So this week I went back to it. I received this guidance from The Grandmothers**:

“You are looking for the answers outside yourself. You will never find them there. Turn within, to The Divine (God, Source, Jesus, your Higher Self – whatever word makes sense to you). Whenever you become overwhelmed by confusion and wonder what you are to do next, know that you have been caught in the fog of despair that hangs over the earth. Don’t succumb to its gray hopelessness. 

If you look to the world for guidance, you will become increasingly fatigued. The antidote is to call on us, or any form of The Divine. Even though sometimes you may feel like you’re alone, you are not alone. You are in the process of becoming more than you have ever been. 

Sometimes you get lost in the ups and downs of the world. When you do, you forget that you too are blooming. Let go of all the things you have ben grasping at, your fears and anxieties. Let them go. We will hold you in love.”

I received 3 additional messages that day with the same theme:

1)    A text from the TBM program* that read: “Sometimes we feel lonely because there’s a lack of deep connection to ourselves, not other people. Connect back to yourself and your heart space. What do you need? What emotions are coming up? What’s your soul craving?”

2)    An email from a coach I follow with the subject line “it’s up to you to give yourself what you’re needing.”

3)    Reading about Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross in the book “Wild Mercy” by Mirabai Starr.

Ok I got the message! When I’m feeling bleh, down, in a funk, confused, lonely, constricted – COME BACK TO THE DIVINE!

This connection to Self & The Divine will generate what I need. It’s on me. No one else. That is actually a relief. 

It’s totally within my control and ability to get what I need and turn the ship around. 

That’s empowering!

Also – that phase, those feelings…all part of the process of being human and transforming. There’s no way around it. You must travel through it. Believe me. I have spent the better part of my life investigating ALL of the paths around it! They lead no where good. 

I’m learning to let go of the resistance and constriction.

If you’d like help connecting with Self & The Divine, help navigating the chasm of transformation, there are 3 ways I can help you:

1.     1:1 coaching: You have all of the answers within, but sometimes they are buried so deep, or the noise is so loud, that you need help rediscovering them. Sometimes you just need to learn a few tools. With a master’s degree in counseling and almost 30 years of group and 1:1 work in the wellness field, I’ve gotcha covered. Click here for more info. We’ll talk about how the process might look for you.

2.    Join Soul Circles: We gather every 6 weeks either on Zoom or in-person to connect with the themes of The Celtic Wheel, an ancient calendar and map rooted in the rhythms of the natural world and the interconnectedness of all things. These gatherings are a time to connecting with self and others, to nourish your soul, to reflect and recharge. More info and sign up here.

3.    Celtic Wheel Seasonal Group Courses: I offer 4-week courses for each of the 8 seasons on The Celtic Wheel. We use modern psychology & ancient wisdom to explore ways to embody and align with the energies of the season. As a community, we are exploring different methodologies of connection - meditation, journaling, breathwork, discussion, movement, sound, and more. The magic of these groups is INSANE!!! Head over to my Events page for info on the next one, or contact me to get on the mailing list.

References:

*the “magic dark” term & concept comes from the work of Lacy Phillips, To Be Magnetic. It’s a process of working with the subconscious in order to manifest the reality you’re craving.

**The Grandmothers: If you haven’t heard me speak of them before, you can read about them here.

Lighten the fuck up

I got this message from a 1:1 coaching client and it made my day:

“Just wanted to say thanks again for today. I know I was a bit all over the place and unstructured, but after a tough couple weeks, the time was absolutely what I needed. I definitely didn’t feel exhausted and not wanting to work on me. Please know that you make a difference. I’m grateful for you and our sessions.”

Sometimes we need to let go of the structure. We need to allow ourselves to be “all over the place.” We just need to talk and laugh with no agenda.

One of the tid bits we uncovered in our coaching session was that my client has decision fatigue. They have been in a volatile, stressful, and every-changing job for a year. It requires constant problem solving and shifting of plans. They said they feel like it’s a new job every single day and they can’t settle in. 

Constant fast-paced decision making for 8+ hours a day makes one tired! This has undoubtedly amped up the anxiety they feel, which we are addressing through breath techniques and mindset. And it’s working! 

But my client has had a few weeks of just being tired of the effort. Tired of trying. Tired of everything. 

And I can relate! How about you? 

So in our session we ambled about in our conversation, we shared stories and laughed. It was exactly what my client needed. There were a few ah-has, and lots of laughs. 

We talked about finding ease. They decided to ease up on their normal rigorous running/training schedule. It was feeling like another job, instead of an enjoyable stress release.

And same for coaching - it should not feel like another exhausting job. You should not dread having to “work on yourself”. This stuff should be FUN! Coaching IS FUN! 

I’ve been feeling the same way as my client in the last week or so. The people in our lives are always a mirror for us.

I shared with a friend that one day last week all I wanted to do was lay on the couch and watch Netflix all day but I didn’t allow myself to do it. She said – DO IT!! That was clearly what I needed and I heard that message loud and clear. I bet I would have bounced back to my normal vital self faster had I allowed it, instead of all the pushing forward and efforting.

Another friend told me an unbelievable story last week about how he ended up in an interaction with ELTON JOHN many years ago. Elton told him: 

“You take yourself way too seriously! You need to lighten the fuck up!” 

Elton. I love you. 

Again…mirrors being held up before me. I AM GETTING THE MESSAGE!

So the next time you’re feeling exhausted, all over place, unstructured, look for what could offer you some ease. Maybe not what you think you “should” do. Not “working on yourself”, not the “healthy” or “right” thing. Maybe what you (I) need is some good ole indulgence: An ice cream sundae? A day off to watch Netflix? An afternoon of thrifting? Yeah do that! It can be just as good for you as that yoga session, the meditation, or the green juice.

If you’d like some help finding more ease, I would love to work with you 1:1. Navigate to “1:1” at the top of my page and we can talk about how we might work together to get you where you want to be.

And sometimes the answer may be eating ice cream while you watch The Bridgertons for 8 hours! 

Excuse me while I go do that…

Sacred Cycles

I am in St. Petersburg, FL this week and stumbled upon this sweet little bookstore called Tombolo. There were lots of synchronicities at this store:

• The owner went to college in Indiana.

• She moved to St. Pete 2 years ago from Ashville NC, an area that Scott and I just explored in October and fell in love with.

• The book I am reading (about witches!) was on top of a random stack of books by the register. It’s not a new book.

• My husband has a huge art/poetry book called “Lost Words” that I was drawn to last week and took along to my retreat. Again, not a new book. It was displayed behind the counter!  

I could feel that something was going on energetically.

While browsing, I was drawn to an oracle deck called “Sacred Cycles”, by Jill Pyle & Em Dewey. I was drawn to it because of my work with the cycles of The Celtic Wheel.

I’m into this concept of cycles. My former self had a tendency to resist cycles. I wanted to always be “on”, high energy, happy. The Celtic Wheel has helped me to embrace and flow with natural cycles – the moon, emotions, the seasons, hormones, plants, animals, life in general.

EVERYTHING has cycles and there is value in every phase of the cycle.

My new oracle deck says:

“We are collectively being called to return to the wise ways and to our ancestors’ traditions. We are awakening into our awareness of life’s deeply rooted rhythms and the lessons reflected to us in Earth’s ongoing cycles. The wisdom of ancient cycles connects you to the celestial bodies that make up the infinite universe; the Earth and its incredible flora and fauna; and our miraculous physical bodies with their innate phases. May this oracle support you as you learn to flow with the rhythm of sacred cycles.”

YES!!!! My work with The Celtic Wheel – our soul circles, my group courses, my 1:1 sessions – is about flowing with natural rhythms.

We entered the season of Ostara on March 20. Ostara celebrates this time of new beginnings, birth and renewal, planting seeds, both in the natural world and in ourselves. The energy of this season is about coming alive, lifeforce rising. We feel a sense of expansiveness and exuberance.

This phase of the year brings a feeling of rejuvenation back into the world and our sacred body. Ostara season restores a sense of eagerness to begin new exploration. We begin to feel reinvigorated. This phase holds the promise of endless potential as a new cycle begins. 

The card I drew this morning says: 

“I am unlimited potential. What am I currently co-creating with the Universe? How might I expand the vision I have to greater heights?”  

“You are encouraged to approach your current circumstances with openness. As a time when vital life force increases within the body, this phase represents the excitement that comes from realizing how many potential paths are available to you. The universe awaits you to choose where to anchor your energy.

You are being asked to look ahead to the next phase or cycle of your life and creatively craft a vision that aligns with your desires. The elixir of hope is alive within you now. It has the potential to guide your dreams to new heights as you dance with the Divine in your chose direction.”

YEAAAAAAS!!!! I just LOVE the synchronicities. They are everywhere for all of us if we are paying attention. 

What Is The Celtic Wheel?

Let’s talk about The Celtic Wheel, shall we? It starts way back when – hundreds of years before Christ. The Celts were an ancient society scattered around modern day Europe. Their name, given by The Greeks, means “The Mysterious Ones” because their 3 fundamental tenants seemed strange to the Greeks. They were a matriarchal society, they had great reverence for the earth & they believed in the close proximity of the spirit world.

The Celts were a people very connected with nature. Seems like all of our ancestors were, right? They didn’t have a dial to control the climate in their nice energy efficient house. They couldn’t jump in their car and drive to the grocery store to get asparagus in December. They were naturally more connected with nature because they had no choice. But the Celts had a greater reverence for that connection it seems.

They recognized that they WERE nature, they were a part of it. These days we seem to look at nature as a thing that we appreciate and soak in on the weekends at the state park in our cool hiking shoes and fancy yet understated Prana pants. 

The Celtic Wheel is a way to GET INTO IT, not just walk along it’s surface. 

I remember visiting the Grand Canyon years ago and standing at the rim thinking – yes, this is amazing, but I need to get down IN IT to experience it. I wasn’t feeling anything. It almost felt like I was just looking at a picture until I really got down and dirty in it, communed with it. Not just standing and looking.

Back to those ancient Celts. So they created this calendar that marked 8 seasons in the year. Each season would kick off with a gathering and celebration. Community is important. It was then. It is now. We need more of it. 

They would have rituals to mark the season, traditional foods they pitched in - much like our modern day holidays, but they took it deeper. They had trees they honored each season, animals whose energy represented the energy of the season, they watched the patterns of the sky. They GOT IN IT!

Following the Celtic Wheel allows you to connect deeper with the natural world and recognize how what you observe there is also showing up inside of you. Because we’re all connected, right? It helps you to be more intentional about how you’re living. It brings a deeper awareness. It helps you to feel more grounded in something bigger than yourself. 

Each celebration on the wheel offers an opportunity to pause, reflect, connect, celebrate, and set intentions for the coming weeks.

I’ve been following the Celtic Wheel for a few years now and hosting gatherings for the festivals. It has deepened my connection with…well…everything really. I’m more aware of my inner energies (going slower to restore in the winter months), the plants that are just now beginning to bloom, the changing angle of the sun throughout the year, the various critters in my neighborhood and how they live. It delights me to watch our front porch chipmunk!

It has expanded me. It has rooted me. I have a feeling of being a part of this community of nature. 

Connect with your truth and stand in your power. It’s my mission to show up to that daily and help you do the same. It’s easy to feel isolated and alone in our modern society. If you’re craving connection and community, the Celtic Wheel is a beautiful antidote.

I can help you navigate in a few ways:

• Check out my Soul Circles page for information on Celtic Wheel festival gatherings.

• Join one of my 4 week Celtic Wheel Group Guidance Courses - on my Events page

• Head over to my 1:1 page if you’d like guidance on your unique situation.

• Sign up for my newsletter email list to receive information & musings on the seasonal energies.

• Follow me on IG & FB at citycricketcoaching

• And if you’re really into this Celtic Wheel thing, LMK and I can recommend some books for a deeper dive.

Here’s to a deeper connection.

Celtic Wheel graphic from: thewhitegoddess.co.uk

Fuzzy Feelings

I have had a periodic strange sensation in my lower left back for…umm…a few years probably. It’s not a pain. I can only describe it as feeling “fuzzy”, and tingly. I picture it like this photo. It happens periodically. It’s weird and no one has had any ideas about what it could be. I can’t figure it out. I just notice it with curiosity when it pops up and mostly ignore it.

Lately I’ve been thinking about it at an energetic level. I’ve been noticing what’s going on when it fuzzes up - is it sign for me to pay attention to something? I found a year or so ago that when my ear rings it’s my Guides telling me they have a message for me. So I stop and ask “what’s the message?” and I get a clear message. I tried that with my back fuzz but it doesn’t seem to be the case here.

Since learning the Pranic Healing modality this fall, I have realized that it might have something to do with my back spleen chakra. This chakra plays a vital role in physical well-being and life-force energy, among other functions. People can unknowingly energetically plug into it to get energy and vitality from you.

I’ve also been studying alot about unprocessed and stored emotions and how those affect the body.

This morning in meditation I heard my Guides say they had a message for me. I wasn’t really looking for a message and I wanted to get to work. But I have learned to listen when I get these messages so I picked up one of The Grandmothers books*, opened it randomly, and here’s what I read:

Sharon, the author, was in meditation and communing with The Grandmothers. She explained “my back was inflamed and I squirmed as I lay there.” HER BACK!? Tell me more Sharon…

The Grandmothers explained to her: “Long ago, pieces of ‘gravel’ got stuck underneath the fabric of being inside you. An old state of consciousness is causing this sensation in your body. Pain has been stored in this spot for a long time and is now coming to the surface. Once upon a time you became so fascinated by the negative circumstances and events of your life that you became unable to release them.”

Sharon saw a pile of hot stones in her body at the site of the pain. As the Grandmothers began to remove them they said “carrying these inside you is not only painful, but these weights from long ago create the distraction of pain that prevents you from moving forward.”

Whoa. Ok. That felt like a pretty clear message that this fuzzy feeling is unreleased and stored circumstances/events/pain/emotions. I’ve been working on my “state of consciousness” and old belief systems that no longer serve me as I take my business to the next level. My fuzzy feeling could also be that. This passage in the book pulled it all together for me. Pranic Healing it is!

So what’s my point here? There are messages for us EVERYWHERE! When we notice patterns of information that we are coming across, it’s not by chance. People tell me I am so tuned in, but I’m no more tuned in than you are. I have just trained myself to get quiet and listen, and to pay attention to all of the signs around me. There are answers and support everywhere if we silence the noise and distractions and pay attention. It’s available to all of us.

If you’d like help silencing the noise, check out my December Alignment Course on my “Events” page. We’ll be practicing tools to get quiet and tune in. Also if you’re interested in Pranic Healing, let me know. I’m integrating this healing practice into my work.

Here’s to listening to our messages, our gut feelings, and noticing the patterns.

*If you don’t know what I mean by “The Grandmothers books” and want more info, email me. I’m happy to share.

**photo cred: My Man <heart>

I Had A Dream

So I found myself in the back seat of a canoe sailing down I-65, which was flooded into a fast-moving river. There were 8 of us and I didn’t know any of them. We were making our way north from Indy to my hometown. We were going super-fast with no oars in the water. There was no steering, we were just flying along. 

You’re already seeing how this relates to my real life, aren’t you?

I suddenly realized that no one was paying attention. Who was in charge here? Did I need to take charge? Was I SUPPOSED to be in charge? I voiced that I hadn’t been paying attention to our location and we may have passed the exit. The river was so high and fast and I was in the back and it was hard to see the signs. I asked everyone to pay attention to the signs. No one was. Dang.

I decided to exit us off at the next opportunity so we could stop and evaluate the situation. A gas station attendant type person told us that we had long since passed our exit and we were in a town I had never heard of. I decided to take charge and directed us to a parking lot. I told the group we needed to call someone to come and get us and somehow get this huge canoe back to the city. Who has a cell phone? Dumb looks at each other. No one has their phone. Who has money for a pay phone (do those even exist anymore)? Blank stares. No money. Furthermore, our clothes were soaking wet and we had no shoes. We had zero resources. And darkness had just fallen.

We realized then that we were in the parking lot of a huge church and people were streaming in for the service that was about to begin. I said we needed to go inside and find a phone and ask for help. As we walked inside, someone handed me money, thinking we were homeless. I wondered again- was I in charge? I didn’t really want to be but it was increasingly apparent that no one else was taking the lead or really doing anything to get us out of this predicament.

My group found a pew where they settled in for the service. I was infuriated! You’re just going to SIT HERE!? I realized AGAIN at that point that I needed to take the lead. “We have to call our people and let them know we’re ok. They’ll be worried! It’s dark now and we have to find a way home. Who has a car that can hold all of us? Who has a truck for the canoe?” I started problem solving and taking charge and directing. I felt confident then. And capable. I was a reluctant leader, but I stepped up when no one else was. I was effective. I started feeling hopeful because I was able to manifest money. I didn’t even ask. It was just GIVEN TO ME once I got clear on what needed to be done. Then one guy in the group came back with some other helpful resources, like a map. 

Around this time, I woke up. My take-aways were many, but here are a few key points that I think we can all relate to: 

• I have been feeling depleted and disconnected the past week or so. You ever feel that way? Too many things on my calendar and I can’t keep up - like I’m in the back seat of a run-away canoe on a high and fast river. But hey- I’m in charge here! This is MY life and I’m the leader of it. I can pull off and stop. I can regroup and make a plan. 

• I looked up the significance of the number 8 since I noted in my dream that there were 8 of us in the group. Here’s what I found…I can’t make this shit up, people! “8 symbolizes balance and inner stability. It is a message from angels that you need to settle things in your head and make peace with yourself. That's the only way to make spiritual progress in your life. It signifies hope, new horizons, and bright future.”

• When I step up and take charge of my life, I can see what needs to be done and make it happen. Once I embraced that role, once I got out of the (literal) back seat and engaged, things started moving forward. 

• I am capable of gathering resources. Even when I feel like I have none, they always appear. I can manifest what I need. I needed money and someone just handed it to me. That simple. Once I got clear on what needed to happen, things began to fall into place. All it takes is attention and intention.

Sometimes life is a high fast river. Sometimes we get swept away to parts unknown. But we’re in charge. When we realize that, and assume that role in our life, things happen. So here’s to clarity, realizing we’re not alone and resources are not scarce. Here’s to new horizons and inner stability.

If you could use some help and accountability with these concepts, head on over to my events page, check out our Soul Circles, or consider 1:1 coaching with me. You’ll find all those links at the top of my home page.

A Woman Away From Herself

These words that I read in my last book really touched me. I read them over and over. I earmarked the page. I typed them out:

“I do remember the things he told me, his own stories. He had a need to hear them told, I think. I don’t think he heard himself, it was more in the way of praying that some folks have, repeating words for the sound.

He was always reminding himself what others expected of him and why those things were good and necessary. I wonder if he’ll ever find his way. He always felt far away from me, even when he slept beside me. A man away from himself.”

It touched me in many ways: We all have a need to tell our stories; to hear the words vibrate outside of ourselves. 

I felt the truth of the importance of hearing the stories we speak. To really HEAR the words. So often our words, our stories, are just on auto-pilot. We don’t even hear ourselves. 

I thought about the impact of living unconsciously, just repeating words for the sound.

I felt the sadness of having to remind ourselves what others (society, friends, family, bosses) expect of us and trying to convince ourselves to bend in order to comply. And how if we bend too much, we lose our way. 

I was reminded that living by other’s expectations distances us from our truth. We become far away from ourselves. And if we’re far from ourselves, we cannot connect with anyone else, no matter how close we are physically.

If you’re interested in telling your story, in having a guide to help you really hear it; If you’ve lost your way among all the outer expectations; if you are a woman away from herself, I have openings for 1:1 consultations. I would be honored to help you back to yourself.

Surprise Sobriety

I did not plan to stop drinking. I am not an alcoholic. I am not preaching. This is simply my account of my experience without alcohol. It is not in any way about you.

 If you know me, this will come as a huge shock. I LOVE cocktails. And beer. But cocktails especially. I love researching recipes, reading origin stories of cocktails, making my own mixers from scratch, juicing the citrus by hand, the tools involved, creating a beautiful garnish, thrifting for an assortment of beautiful cocktail glasses. I photograph my creations for no reason other than I think they are so pretty. I LOOOOOVE EVERYTHING about mixology. I have an app. I have recipe books. I have a Pinterest board. 

But then COVID came. Is there any story these days that does not involve COVID? At first I was a cocktail making maniac. It felt like snow days after a huge blizzard. It was special. I hunkered down and got really into the cocktails. Then…Phase 2…we all realized it wasn’t just going to be a 2 week break. I got really focused on my health and shoring up my immune system and decided not to drink for a bit. No further thought or plan. Then it was a long bit and I hadn’t even thought about drinking. Weeks turned into months and I realized, much to my surprise, that I didn’t even WANT a cocktail. Weird. 

Sober-curious seems to be all the rage these days, but it never resonated with me. I loved my cocktails. It’s fun! But I wasn’t even thinking about them and when I did, it didn’t even sound good. Then one night it did. Kinda. I mixed one. I enjoyed it. But during the night I woke up feeling sick and horrible. Also weird. It was just ONE cocktail! Weeks later I had another. Same sick feeling in the night. Last weekend it was an amazingly warm and sunny spring day. We had finished yardwork and were sitting outside. THAT, my friends, is the perfect set up for a beer – amiright?! The Mister agreed and ran to get some. I had ONE BEER. I enjoyed it. It was a local sour and I LOVE sours! But then during the night I was sick again. UGH!!! So the last 3 times I had alcohol, I had the same sick reaction. Not a coincidence. My body has decided – no more! A friend suggested that I must be vibrating at a different frequency. I can get on board with that theory. So many things have changed for me in the past year. 

While I’m not super upset about this surprising turn of events – it is better for me not to drink, I know that – I am a bit bummed about a few things: 

1. ALL OF MY BEAUTIFUL BARWARE!

2. The social cues – I associate good adult beverages with a group of friends gathered together having a great time, a canoe ride, a bon fire, hunkering down with Scott in the evening and having some great meandering conversation, our Saturday afternoon bike-n-brews, beautiful spring evenings, relaxation, fun. A cocktail signals something special is happening.

3. The creative artistry of drink making. 

So while I am not saying “I don’t drink”, because that feels confining, I can’t imagine wanting to drink. It’s so weird how it just fell away, without any thought or effort. I keep saying weird…because it’s weird! But some social cues still have me wanting a special drink. An alcoholic beverage signified something different and special was happening. And I CANNOT just banish my barware to a dark cabinet! One of my friends suggested that I start researching creative non-alcoholic drinks. I love that idea! That’s gonna be my new thing. I made a watermelon shrub last summer. I’ll expand on the shrubs with seasonal ingredients.

I may drink again. I am making no promises or commitments. I am just flowing with whatever feels right. So here’s to new adventures in special drinks. And to still being fun! And here’s to COVID changing everything. 

Notes on Fatigue, Surrender & Trust

I have found my 5 guiding words for 2021 to be such an anchor for me this year: Alignment, Purpose, Connection, Strength & Change. They are hanging on the wall in front of my desk. I made them pretty. I look at them all the time and think about what they mean and how they are showing up in my life. I think about the invitation to embody and practice and grow into each of these words this year. When they came to me, I was pretty excited about the first 3 – Alignment, Purpose, Connection. I saw how these directly related to City Cricket and that was where I was feeling energy and excitement. But strength and change…those were fine words, but I didn’t feel so connected to them. Well, let me tell ya, this past week they came into sharp focus when a recurring, familiar, crippling fatigue returned.  

My first thoughts were UGH!!!! AGAIN???!!! NOOOOO!!!!! Those were closely followed by feelings of dread, anger, and frustration. Then I decided to handle the fatigue differently this time. I usually want to fight it - throw punches, get really mad and outraged. I want to battle! I get busy with problem solving and working hard at healing. This time I decided to take the drama out of it. I was instead just an interested observer. I acknowledged it – “Hello. It’s you again huh?” I talked to it like a person. I started to connect with it, to relate to it differently. It wasn’t me. It wasn’t “my” fatigue. It was just a visitor. The fatigue seems like a tough, old, wise woman. No-nonsense. A little gruff, not at all sweet and comforting. Her skin is dark, with a million wrinkles, deeply aged by the sun and challenging experiences. I named her Fatima. I got real weird and it felt good. I developed a relationship with her. I not only accepted Fatima, I welcomed her. I asked her - what lessons are you here to bring? I know you are here for a reason and I am listening. This time I will not fight you. I will sit with you. I will listen. I will accept you and thank you for the gifts that you bring. While you are an unexpected guest, and admittedly not one that I was happy to see pull up in the driveway, this time I will invite you in and we can make some tea and chat a while. I have some snacks in the frig. Maybe I have misjudged you. Maybe I can learn from you. I made a CONNECTION (guiding word).  

As I got better acquainted with Fatima over the week, I saw that she was bringing my 2 guiding words CHANGE and STRENGTH into focus. I saw that she was giving me a chance to practice SURRENDER & TRUST (my next workshop). She was inviting me to look at EVERYTHING in a different way.  She was inviting me to change the way I hold energy- how I flow through my days, how I approach work, how I listen (or don’t) to my body. I started to ask myself - what feels good right now, what does my body want to eat right now, does my body want to move or be still right now? I did not see anything in my day as a given or a must-do. I reexamined everything. I looked at the energy with which I came at everything. It’s usually not the thing itself that zaps my energy, it’s the energy with which I engage with it. I know this concept. I know it intellectually. But last week I FELT it. I really GOT it, at that cellular, feeling level.

I dropped the frustration of feeling limited. I saw that she actually opened up new ways of doing and being. I was not limited, I was actually expanding in different ways. I dropped the fear that she would stay too long, and maybe never leave. I dropped the anger – This AGAIN!? Why me!? I don’t have time for this!

I was invited to change the way I work, the way I rest, the energy with which I approach all things, which requires a CHANGE in perspective. And STRENGTH. I am being called to a new sort of strength. Not the gritty kind – where you suck it up, grit your teeth, and plow through to produce. Not the kind where you push yourself through because it’s good for you, or because it has to be done. Not the kind where you grin and bear it, put your chin up and stand firm. I’ve practiced all those kinds of strength. I’m pretty good at them. However, THIS kind of strength…well…it’s unfamiliar. Do I have the strength to dismantle long held beliefs that are not serving me? Do I have the strength to look at Fatima in a different way, because it’s easy to hate her and fight her, but to welcome her!? Wow. Ummm. Idunno. Do I have the strength to keep reminding myself to try a new way of doing and being? Do I have the strength to really rest and allow my body what it is asking for? Do I have the strength to constantly keep challenging the way I approach everything that I do throughout the day? This is a very different kind of strength that I am being invited to practice. 

Last week was an exercise in Surrender & Trust, the next workshop I am preparing to offer. Those topics were presented to me in some form EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. A book I picked up, a podcast I listened to, a friend sending a text…it was coming from everywhere! So I listened. I surrendered to the fatigue. I did not fight it or hate it. I did not see it as a foe or a hoe. I connected with it. I trusted it was here for my highest good. I fully embraced it and committed to seeing the gifts. I changed the way I held the fatigue. I changed the way I did absolutely everything. It took strength to keep coming back to that attitude and commitment, lemme tell ya! But I can do hard things. 

I am feeling more strength today. I have the strength to write this. Last week I thought of trying many times, but I heard – “Not now. Rest. Receive.” Maybe the energy will last. Maybe it won’t. Either way, I am different and I am doing things differently. I accept her gifts with gratitude, I surrender control, and I trust that it is all for my highest good. Thank you, Fatima. Until we meet again…cue Sound Of Music “So Long Farewell”.

Thank You Virgo Full Moon

I have had a big energetic shift in the past few days. Thank God. Have you felt an energetic shift too? 

In the last few weeks of February I felt dull, disconnected, ungrounded, unsettled, spacey, kind of manic. I felt like I was in a pinball machine, feeling outside of myself, grasping for something – wanting to scroll, shop, keep busy. I was feeling out of alignment. Alignment is my 2021 word. When I made the effort to get grounded, the tools that I have learned did help. But I felt resistant to using any of them. I was resisting most everything. 

On Saturday, the day of the full moon, it all broke loose! Thank you, full moon, for providing the energy to release that which does not serve.

I had not been journaling during my morning quiet time, but I felt compelled to go to the page that morning. I resisted, but did it anyway. Writing is one of my main tools for spiritual and self connection. It never fails to reveal issues and answers that were not clear to me until I started writing. 

THAT was the answer. I am certain my guides called me there. I did some channeled writing, which is pretty new for me and oh so magical! I received direct messages and instructions. Energetic blocks were revealed through the process of writing – pencil to paper illuminated everything. 

I heard that my lack of vibrant energy was because I have been regularly eating meat the last few months. I am not anti-meat. I am pro-intuitive eating. I had been feeling that meat was no longer serving me for several days, but was not listening.

It was also revealed that I have been in a pattern of hiding. I had been emotionally insulating, just wanting to do my own thing, craving privacy, resenting all of the interruptions. I have also not been taking responsibility for my finances. As I wrote, it just came out of me that this “hiding” is a (Human Design) Manifestor coping mechanism I have developed over many years - I hide so that I can do what I want to do without anyone trying to question or stop me. It was revealed that this “hiding” energy blocks love and connection, as well as money. 

I was also shown the constricted energy that I have been holding. I had been very much in the masculine energy – “I have to rush and get this done because I don’t have enough time! My to-do list is growing and I can’t get it all done!” I was going hard and fast, drinking coffee again to help me go faster. I was getting rigid and controlling. I had been literally holding my breath and clamping my teeth. This energy served me well for many years, so I thought. I was positively reinforced for getting so much done and buckling down and charging through. But this is not sustainable – for my Human Design type, especially. This energy made me sick and lead to a broken shoulder. As I wrote, I recognized all of the ways I have had a constricting energy and attitude lately. 

After the full moon day journaling/spirit guide connection/meditation experience I felt a clear energic shift. I felt better- like I was getting back on my feet after being sick. Not vibrant yet, but healing. The following day I felt almost normal again. My energy had returned – the kind of energy that flows and recognizes joy and inspiration. Scott and Ruby and I built a fire that night, made smores and had such a great time. In the last 2 days I have started hearing my guides more frequently again, my dreams are revealing truths, I am getting messages for other people again, messages that I need to hear are popping up everywhere again. I have stopped resisting and constricting and hiding and it is like a dam has broken loose – in a good way, not in a “ruin the town” sorta way. It’s all flowing again.

The astrologer, Chani Nicholas, posted a message about that full moon on Instagram that caught my eye: “The full moon in Virgo brings about pivotal shifts, highlights missed steps, and brings into focus what we need to adjust in order for our systems to function as well as possible. Virgo is interested in digestion, integration, and removal of what doesn’t work. We are reminded to come back into alignment with ourselves.” Yup. That sums it up perfectly. 

I am learning how to use energy and how to recognize when I’m tapping into an energy that does not serve myself or others. I am learning a new way of being and working that is in alignment with my true essence. The learning process is a rocky one. I had veered from the path and this was a course correction. Thank you Virgo full moon!

Wintering

I have been musing on the light and the dark this month. This topic has been coming to me from many different angles, as is often the case with a lesson that I need. 

I signed up for Toko-Pa Turner’s podcast series. She is new to me and I am a bit obsessed.  Check her out! The first interview was a discussion about the fairytale, Sleeping Beauty. I admit that I was not excited when I heard the topic of fairytales. Bleh! But it was a deep and rich analysis of what fairytales represent. They picked apart every aspect of that story. Now I’m hooked on the topic! The mystery of the tale of Sleeping Beauty, or Briar Rose, that keeps coming back to me is that the King, you may remember, invited only 12 of the 13 wise women of the land to a banquet honoring his newborn daughter. At this banquet, the wise women/witches were to bestow their gifts and blessings upon her. The witch who was left out was outraged by the slight and cursed his daughter. What I have been wondering is WHY was she not invited? And what was her gift? I keep thinking that maybe her gift was pain and suffering. We so often see, after the fact, that pain and suffering are such valuable gifts. But who wants to sign up for THAT gift?! And don’t we do anything possible to spare our children from (the gift of) pain and suffering? It’s easy to hear about the darkness and light both being important, and we get it conceptually, but when it comes to your children being in the midst of darkness, well, darkness doesn’t seem like such a gift. And when darkness comes upon us, yeah we’d just rather go ahead and pass on that gift.

I had another opportunity to examine the darkness and light when I gathered online with a group of heart-minded women for Imbolc. Imbolc is celebrated on February 1 – the half way point between the winter solstice and the Spring Equinox. It is a time to mark the hope of the coming light. A time to recognize potential, to plant seeds, to make room for growth. It’s also a time to acknowledge the necessity of the darkness, and the gifts that the dark winter brings – more rest, less activity, more reflection.

My third opportunity came via the “On Being” podcast interview with author Katherine May on her book “Wintering”. She looks at the dark winter as both a cycle of the natural world, and as a season in our lives. Embracing both the winter and the summer, the light and the dark, the good times and the bad, the joy and the pain. A remembering that the winter season comes – literally and metaphorically - and it goes. It’s all a part of the process. Every season has a purpose. There is a season, turn, turn, turn…do you hear that song in your head too ;-).

And lastly, in a very literal way, I have been working in our finished basement lately. There’s not much natural light down here. I normally CRAVE the light that the window filled main level provides. But I have been thriving in the low light of the downstairs space these past few months, feeling cradled and cocooned by Mother Earth.

In Indiana this stretch to warmer weather is the toughest. It seems like spring will never come. It’s the same feeling I get in a wintering season of my own. When I broke my shoulder a few years ago, I thought I would never heal, I would never be independent again, I would never be “normal” again. But it was just a wintering season, and it brought so many gifts – I learned to ask for help, I learned that I had SO MANY beautiful supportive people in my life that would do countless loving acts to nurture me, I learned to slow down and rest. And lots of other gifts too, but this post is getting long. And COVID…a collective wintering…

So this season I am focusing on the gifts of wintering – literally and metaphorically. All of the seasons should have a seat at the table. Like it or not, they’re coming to the banquet. We may as well just set a place for them, welcome them to the party, and accept their gifts with gratitude.

Alignment

I chose a word for 2021. Alignment. I have never chosen a word of the year. A year is a long time to commit to just one word. That’s a lot of pressure on a word! So I chose 5 - haha! But ALIGNMENT is my main word and the other 4 all come back to that word.  

I did that Facebook word search thing that was going around. I believe it is a fun and playful way for Spirit to direct your attention. The other 4 words that jumped out at me were: purpose, connection, strength and change. I did some reflection and journaling on these words and they resonate so much. And as a confirmation, I am seeing and hearing “alignment” everywhere.

I feel as if I am coming into alignment. I had a nearly 30-year career in corporate wellness. The “corporate” part no longer felt right…well, it never did but I wanted it to so I figured out how to play the game, and I did it well. But it was never who I was. It was not aligned. It is exhausting to try to be someone you’re not day after day. To live out of alignment. I have spent the past few years, since leaving the corporate environment, stepping back into who I really am.  That means owning my weirdness, sharing it more and more, and being and doing what honestly feels aligned for me.

I am learning to be more in the feminine flow, and to trust that. I love to be in that flow, but I have thought that I needed to WORK more, not flow more. I should have a task list, a plan for the day, a schedule, goals. I should be driven if I want to succeed. I need to hustle, to work HARD, to sacrifice, to be exhausted, overwhelmed and irritated.  THAT means that I am really “working hard”, which is what I’m supposed to do, right? Do you remember that Seinfeld episode when George Costanza had the theory that in order to seem capable to George Steinbrenner that he just always had to act tired and frustrated and exasperated? And he was right…Steinbrenner took those cues to mean that George was doing great work. I bought into that.

Then there is the matter of my health, which means I don’t have sustained energy – how will I hustle and (over)work in order to build a business?! I quite literally can’t do that. And that’s the only way to be successful, right? Plus I have a family- kids with health issues that require so much of my time and energy and attention. Family needs to be my priority and then I won’t have anything left.

Do you see the cage I constructed for myself? I love that Eagles line: “so often times it happens that we live our lives in chains, and we never even know we have the key.” What I have come to see is that all of those pre-conceived notions are just thoughts. They aren’t real. And I don’t have to believe those thoughts. I know they are holding me back. For YEARS I have had this dream of City Cricket. This dream of connecting women and helping them to connect with themselves and find what lights them up, trust their intuition, take care of themselves, and be who they want to be. I was sometimes able to do that work in the corporate world. But I knew for years that I could do more and better on my own. So why am I going to let those thoughts - that are probably not true - hold me back from what I know is my purpose?

The answer is I’m not gonna!! No sir-ee bob! No more. I will no longer buy into those thoughts. I am free to create whatever I want and however I want! This is all part of coming into ALIGNMENT with my PURPOSE…providing space and community, tools and experiences, that help women CONNECT to their higher selves.  These are my 2021 words!

This is a year of big CHANGE for me. It will require STRENGTH, but not in the old ways that I have looked at strength. Strength for me now means:

• having the courage to use my voice - no matter what people may think of what I say – because what I say and do seems weird to a lot of people. That’s ok.

• taking care of myself, which may mean doing fewer tasks, but more aligned tasks. 

• listening to my intuition and messages from Spirit about the next right step- aligning my knowing with my actions. Trusting that the messages that I hear are the path. Flowing more.

So here’s to 2021 – a year of alignment, purpose, connection, strength and change.  Here’s to flowing more, here’s to trusting your intuition.  I’m ready!

Recalibrating

This morning as I came into my meditation space, I saw that a rose pedal from my altar had drifted onto my White Light oracle card deck – a sign that I had a message in the cards today.  I drew “Spirit Owl”.  I love this card.  I have drawn it before.  It said: “This card reconnects you to your authentic soul path and higher purpose.”  I know I am on my soul path now – I am doing it!  I’m not just sitting on the path and resting/avoiding anymore!  “It is a sign that your mind is tuning into something true.”  I have been feeling some unease about some upcoming healthcare decisions, so this confirms that my unease is founded in truth, not fear, which was my question to Spirit yesterday – please help me know the difference.  “It augurs clear seeing and higher understanding.  You will be freed from a struggle and set on a creative, empowering and effective path of manifestation.  This is a blessing of creative, psychological fire.  Trust that the more you let go, the more you will experience renewal and stunning spiritual rebirth.  The past is truly over and a new era is dawning.”  Oh I have been FEELING this and knowing this, on such a deep level.  I feel like a different person.  In the last few weeks we have had some strong windy days – I felt them bringing a shift in me…the winds of change.  I was reflecting with a friend yesterday on the steps I have taken in the last few weeks to build this business that I have been dreaming about for YEARS.  She reminded me that it has been YEARS of talking and ideas and dreaming! I recognized that I have left so much old baggage behind.  I have truly grown into someone different.  I am not drinking anymore – this was not a conscious decision.  It just doesn’t feel good anymore.  Isn’t that weird!?  Tracy isn’t crafting cocktails!?  I kept hearing the message – “heal your gut” over and over in the past few months.  Then Scott proposed 2 weeks ago that we go on the AutoImmune Paleo diet plan to heal your gut and autoimmune symptoms.  It is changing my frequency and my physical health.  I barely recognize that person who has been so fearful of flying her freak flag.  Back to the card: “Recalibration to a higher order of divine purpose is in progress…be fearless as you gently hold space for new ways of thinking, living and seeing to emerge.  Let go of opinions and belief systems that cannot support you in higher frequency states.  You shall soon recognize a truth that cuts through confusion and frees you to proceed with love, peace and higher understanding.”  My card draws are always profound, but this one hit me in a big way.  And I bet if you’re reading this, the message is for you too.

You can draw your own card, and access your own divine messages. You don’t need anyone to be a go-between. But if you’d like assistance, and a guide, I offer these sessions for $25.  I will draw a card for you, process it with you, and lead you through a healing meditation technique.  The sessions are 45 mins – 1 hour.  Let me know if you’d like to schedule a personal appointment.

The Gifts Of 2020

I have a secret.  I do not hate 2020.  And I do not long to “get back to normal.” Normal kind of sucked.  I like that 2020 has rocked this world, that it has rocked each of us in our own unique ways.  It has caused awakenings of all sorts, and awareness on so many different levels.  Lots of pain, yes.  But pain brings the opportunity for radical growth.  And I love that.  2020 has exposed systems and structures that need to be demolished and rebuilt – within ourselves and in the outer world.  It has shown us what needs tending to.  It has shown us different perspectives that we may not have considered before.  We needed to see a different way, a new perspective.  We needed to be awakened from our slumber.  And now that we have, what will we each do with it?  Will we resist?  Will we long for the past, for “normal”?  Will we shift and change?  Will we see another way for ourselves and our world?  Will we create a new way?  What are we each going to do with what 2020 has brought us?

What If It's Not Broken

I've been toying around with this idea - "what if the things that I'm trying to fix, that seem wrong, aren't actually wrong, and don't actually need fixing?"  

You may know that my daughter, Ruby, has an autoimmune disease called PANDAS.  It's a hard disease - for all of us.  I feel bad for the struggles she faces daily.  We have spent years trying SO. MANY. SOLUTIONS.  So much money, so much time, so many practitioners, so many treatments, many creams/salves/drops/pills...  

Lately I've been exploring the idea that maybe she doesn't need fixing.  This is her path. It's not mine to try to control and fix.  This is all happening for her highest good.  

What if the big scary thing that seems broken isn't actually broken?  What if the pandemic, and all of the resulting pain and struggle and confusion and fear, is here to make way for the highest good for all.  What if Ruby's illness is here for the same.  Well, that is what I choose to believe.  I've seen enough evidence and heard enough stories to believe that suffering isn't in vain, and that we only have control over how we are going to act in the face of it.  How I act is my choice.  So I get up every morning and I try to make a choice I'm proud of.  I connect with Spirit (whatever that means for you - your higher self, the universe, god...) and I listen for the messages.  Hey some days it doesn't go so well.  Some days I get shitty with people and I'm mean.  Like yesterday.  Some days I'm sad and resentful and feel self pity.  But I keep trying.  And it works more days than not.  

So what can we do to see seemingly broken things a little differently?  How can we change the lens with which we view challenges?  Because it's here, and there's no sense in fighting it.  As Ma Ingalls said:

This earthly life is a battle. If it isn't one thing to contend with, it's another. It always has been so, and it always will be. The sooner you make up your mind to that, the better off you are, and more thankful for your pleasures.

Yes, I just quoted Ma Ingalls ;-).

Wishing you a joyful perspective today, my friends, as we all navigate these challenges.

I Had A Dream

I had a dream last night: I lived in an apartment building with my family, very high up.  It was in the middle of a city that looked war-ravaged.  The building was only 1/2 standing and the excavation crew was there with a wrecking ball to finish bringing it all down.  I asked one guy to wait while we went inside to get what we could of our belongings.  I wasn't sure he would would tell the right people, so it was a scramble to get in and get what I could before the building started falling.  I was panicked.  It was a race against the clock.  I am literally sweating right now, as I type this!  I was frantically sorting things and putting them in piles - keep this, don't need this, pack this in that.  I went to check on the machinery at one point and the side of the building was gone, exposing our apartment to the dark, wet night.  The floor was sloping and crumbling, and slippery.  I was trying to grab the dogs because they were so close to the edge.  What else do I need?  What do I let go of?  Everything was literally falling apart.  

Exactly, of course, what is happening in the world.  So many things are crumbling.

I was instructed to draw a card in meditation this morning.  I've been working with a new deck, Alana Fairchild's White Light Oracle.  And I LOOOOVE it.  Here's what the card said:  "It is time to let go.  Things are working out in their own way.  Trust that your heart is wise and is leading you on a soul-healing journey, and the right spiritual path.  Spirit wants to bring you a blessing and a resolution, but you must let go and allow it to happen.  Events are unfolding according to a higher plan.  Even if your plans are going awry, know that all will come together at the right time and in the best way possible.  Surrender your struggle and hold on to your faith."

I see so many applications of this card in my life.  So many places where I need to let go.  So many places where I need to trust.  This time in the world is a wonderful opportunity to work on surrendering my struggle and holding onto faith.  I'm looking for what I can let go of.  Where I can stop grasping for control.  I'm looking to practice more trust and faith.

Sending you love, and hoping that you're finding the blessings in this dismantling. 

What Are The Gifts And Lessons

Isn't this pandemic rollercoaster ride interesting?  

I was listening to The Balanced Blonde podcast yesterday and she said this:  "Get quiet, take some deep breaths, and ask your higher self - your all knowing, strong and calm self:  what are the positives of this situation?  What are the gifts and the lessons we are here to learn?"

I am committed to asking myself this daily.  Don't get me wrong - I'm going to feel all the feelings - fear, anger, confusion...  I'm going to read the updates from reliable sources so I can stay informed.  Because when we know better, we can do better.  I will not put on rose colored glasses and ignore reality and pretend like everything is fine.  People are struggling, people are hurting, people are dying.  There is a lot of pain.  But I also know for certain, from experience, that really painful times bring needed change.  That has always been true for me.  I am determined to see the bigger picture, what needs to be changed, and to see what I can do to help usher in a better world on the other side of this, and during this...because who knows when we'll be on the other side, so might as well get busy now.

Check out my video on my City Cricket Coaching IG or Facebook pages, or on youtube, to see the goddess oracle card that I drew today - Pele.  "Pele shows us that fire can purify, release us from the old to make way for the new..."  That's what is happening.  The old systems are crumbling and that will make room for the new.  There is so much opportunity to create right now.  How can we, personally, contribute?

My likes and learns from yesterday:

Like:

• Barbara Manley's video posted by Playful Soul.  She is a lovely person and I felt so much better after doing this short and simple tapping video with her.  If you don't know Barb, she was a nurse for many years in Indy and then moved to CA to work with Deepak Chopra at his center for 7 years, and has trained with many other big names in the spiritual world.  She is one of the most joyful people I know.  Even just watching her videos brings a smile.  Fun fact:  I kissed her son once ;-).

Learn:

• The power of a simple walk together...Ruby and I, at her suggestion, walked to our old (but still ours, pending 4/9 closing) house on Broadway yesterday to hunt for the feral kitten litter - please Jesus Mary and Joseph, don't let her find them!  I purposefully don't look, because fostering one feral kitten litter was enough for me, but I enjoy the time walking with Ruby.  It was AWESOME.  While walking that far KILLS my old lady/autoimmuned knees and hips, the pain was so worth it.  She talked THE ENTIRE TIME, which is not the norm these days for my sweet almost-teenager.  It was the highlight of my day.

I hope you are finding some joy and creativity during this time.  Sending you love and light.

*Drawing by my niece, the magical Madison Tomes, circa 2015.

Feel the Sun on Your Wings

Good morning friends!  How are you holding up?  Two weeks ago today was the last day I went about my normal life.  How about you?

I've started jotting down likes and learns on my planner each day.  It's a fun exercise to train my mind to find the positives, and to see the lessons the pandemic is bringing.  It's pretty easy to get pulled into the sadness and panic of it all.  I mean, the world is on fire - people are hurting, and all of the systems we took for granted are crumbling.  It's undeniably a shit show of epic proportions.  While I want to be informed, and I certainly feel the gravity of this situation, it doesn't help anyone if I dwell in that.  Likes and learns is one way of helping me to refocus.  Here are my likes and learns from the past few days:

Likes:

• "The Line" podcast and "alnwithin" IG account.  Ashley Wood is a psychic medium who I have followed for a while.  She has been a light through all of this and has such interesting views on the pandemic and our changing world.  She called what is happening now  "a sacred dismantling".  I really love that.  I've had a few sacred dismantlings in my life and I bet you have too.  While really painful and scary, looking back on them, they really helped me grow and evolve, and they were some of my greatest gifts.  I believe this pandemic will be too.

• That this is happening in early spring and we have the opportunity to spend more time outside observing nature coming back to life.  I don't think I have been so observant in past springs.

Learns:

• I can stay "busy" no matter WHAT the situation - even when forced to stay home and cancel all plans.  Still going 100mph.  Scott points this out to me because he is NOT a busy person ;-).  My busyness mostly serves to take me out of the moment and makes me hyper-focused on tasks, which is not always the best way to spend my time.  I'm going to be more aware of that, and more intentional with my time.  Getting stuff done is fine and good.  But constantly running from one task to the next is not so fine and good.  

• We humans are very clever and helpful.  I have seen some really sweet ways that people are stepping up to help each other and it warms my heart.  I love how people are coming together to donate masks they have laying around in the garage, and making masks for healthcare workers.  A retired nurse in our neighborhood posted on NextDoor that if you have any masks you have purchased (like for cleaning out the garage and such), that she would come by and pick them up on your porch and take them to a local hospital.  We had a few to give.  And JoAnn Fabrics, among others, have posted instructions  and a video on how to make masks for local healthcare workers.  They are even HANDING OUT FREE SUPPLIES CURBSIDE to make them!  Wow!  My parents and grandparents lost their homes and all of their belongings in an F5 tornado in 1965.  While undoubtedly a traumatic experience, the stories we grew up hearing were the stories of how people came together to help them.  I hope that will also be the legacy of this pandemic - how we all stepped up to help each other.  How love prevailed.

I'll close with this from Patricia Garza Pinto FB page (another Like!):  

Message from the Council of 13 Indigenous Grandmothers:

"As you move through these changing times... be easy on yourself and be easy on one another. You are at the beginning of something new. You are learning a new way of being. You will find that you are working less in the yang modes that you are used to.

You will stop working so hard at getting from point A to point B the way you have in the past, but instead, will spend more time experiencing yourself in the whole, and your place in it.

Instead of traveling to a goal out there, you will voyage deeper into yourself. Your mother's grandmother knew how to do this. Your ancestors from long ago knew how to do this. They knew the power of the feminine principle... and because you carry their DNA in your body, this wisdom and this way of being is within you.

Call on it. Call it up. Invite your ancestors in. As the yang based habits and the decaying institutions on our planet begin to crumble, look up. A breeze is stirring. Feel the sun on your wings."

Wishing you sun on your wings today - a beautiful 60 degree spring day full of  SUNSHINE and hope.