I’ve been in a magic dark period*
I sometimes call it a funk. What just clicked for me is that this is a pattern and it’s actually a good thing!
I realize now that the funk means that I am in a phase of the transformation process. I am in the chasm between who I was and who I am becoming. It’s that phase before I gain the understanding and feel the goodness of the transformation.
That phase is uncomfortable. I feel confusion. I feel lonely. I feel resistance. I constrict.
I started noticing the pattern in November and marked my journal entry for reference the next time I found myself in that phase. So this week I went back to it. I received this guidance from The Grandmothers**:
“You are looking for the answers outside yourself. You will never find them there. Turn within, to The Divine (God, Source, Jesus, your Higher Self – whatever word makes sense to you). Whenever you become overwhelmed by confusion and wonder what you are to do next, know that you have been caught in the fog of despair that hangs over the earth. Don’t succumb to its gray hopelessness.
If you look to the world for guidance, you will become increasingly fatigued. The antidote is to call on us, or any form of The Divine. Even though sometimes you may feel like you’re alone, you are not alone. You are in the process of becoming more than you have ever been.
Sometimes you get lost in the ups and downs of the world. When you do, you forget that you too are blooming. Let go of all the things you have ben grasping at, your fears and anxieties. Let them go. We will hold you in love.”
I received 3 additional messages that day with the same theme:
1) A text from the TBM program* that read: “Sometimes we feel lonely because there’s a lack of deep connection to ourselves, not other people. Connect back to yourself and your heart space. What do you need? What emotions are coming up? What’s your soul craving?”
2) An email from a coach I follow with the subject line “it’s up to you to give yourself what you’re needing.”
3) Reading about Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross in the book “Wild Mercy” by Mirabai Starr.
Ok I got the message! When I’m feeling bleh, down, in a funk, confused, lonely, constricted – COME BACK TO THE DIVINE!
This connection to Self & The Divine will generate what I need. It’s on me. No one else. That is actually a relief.
It’s totally within my control and ability to get what I need and turn the ship around.
That’s empowering!
Also – that phase, those feelings…all part of the process of being human and transforming. There’s no way around it. You must travel through it. Believe me. I have spent the better part of my life investigating ALL of the paths around it! They lead no where good.
I’m learning to let go of the resistance and constriction.
If you’d like help connecting with Self & The Divine, help navigating the chasm of transformation, there are 3 ways I can help you:
1. 1:1 coaching: You have all of the answers within, but sometimes they are buried so deep, or the noise is so loud, that you need help rediscovering them. Sometimes you just need to learn a few tools. With a master’s degree in counseling and almost 30 years of group and 1:1 work in the wellness field, I’ve gotcha covered. Click here for more info. We’ll talk about how the process might look for you.
2. Join Soul Circles: We gather every 6 weeks either on Zoom or in-person to connect with the themes of The Celtic Wheel, an ancient calendar and map rooted in the rhythms of the natural world and the interconnectedness of all things. These gatherings are a time to connecting with self and others, to nourish your soul, to reflect and recharge. More info and sign up here.
3. Celtic Wheel Seasonal Group Courses: I offer 4-week courses for each of the 8 seasons on The Celtic Wheel. We use modern psychology & ancient wisdom to explore ways to embody and align with the energies of the season. As a community, we are exploring different methodologies of connection - meditation, journaling, breathwork, discussion, movement, sound, and more. The magic of these groups is INSANE!!! Head over to my Events page for info on the next one, or contact me to get on the mailing list.
References:
*the “magic dark” term & concept comes from the work of Lacy Phillips, To Be Magnetic. It’s a process of working with the subconscious in order to manifest the reality you’re craving.
**The Grandmothers: If you haven’t heard me speak of them before, you can read about them here.