I have had a big energetic shift in the past few days. Thank God. Have you felt an energetic shift too?
In the last few weeks of February I felt dull, disconnected, ungrounded, unsettled, spacey, kind of manic. I felt like I was in a pinball machine, feeling outside of myself, grasping for something – wanting to scroll, shop, keep busy. I was feeling out of alignment. Alignment is my 2021 word. When I made the effort to get grounded, the tools that I have learned did help. But I felt resistant to using any of them. I was resisting most everything.
On Saturday, the day of the full moon, it all broke loose! Thank you, full moon, for providing the energy to release that which does not serve.
I had not been journaling during my morning quiet time, but I felt compelled to go to the page that morning. I resisted, but did it anyway. Writing is one of my main tools for spiritual and self connection. It never fails to reveal issues and answers that were not clear to me until I started writing.
THAT was the answer. I am certain my guides called me there. I did some channeled writing, which is pretty new for me and oh so magical! I received direct messages and instructions. Energetic blocks were revealed through the process of writing – pencil to paper illuminated everything.
I heard that my lack of vibrant energy was because I have been regularly eating meat the last few months. I am not anti-meat. I am pro-intuitive eating. I had been feeling that meat was no longer serving me for several days, but was not listening.
It was also revealed that I have been in a pattern of hiding. I had been emotionally insulating, just wanting to do my own thing, craving privacy, resenting all of the interruptions. I have also not been taking responsibility for my finances. As I wrote, it just came out of me that this “hiding” is a (Human Design) Manifestor coping mechanism I have developed over many years - I hide so that I can do what I want to do without anyone trying to question or stop me. It was revealed that this “hiding” energy blocks love and connection, as well as money.
I was also shown the constricted energy that I have been holding. I had been very much in the masculine energy – “I have to rush and get this done because I don’t have enough time! My to-do list is growing and I can’t get it all done!” I was going hard and fast, drinking coffee again to help me go faster. I was getting rigid and controlling. I had been literally holding my breath and clamping my teeth. This energy served me well for many years, so I thought. I was positively reinforced for getting so much done and buckling down and charging through. But this is not sustainable – for my Human Design type, especially. This energy made me sick and lead to a broken shoulder. As I wrote, I recognized all of the ways I have had a constricting energy and attitude lately.
After the full moon day journaling/spirit guide connection/meditation experience I felt a clear energic shift. I felt better- like I was getting back on my feet after being sick. Not vibrant yet, but healing. The following day I felt almost normal again. My energy had returned – the kind of energy that flows and recognizes joy and inspiration. Scott and Ruby and I built a fire that night, made smores and had such a great time. In the last 2 days I have started hearing my guides more frequently again, my dreams are revealing truths, I am getting messages for other people again, messages that I need to hear are popping up everywhere again. I have stopped resisting and constricting and hiding and it is like a dam has broken loose – in a good way, not in a “ruin the town” sorta way. It’s all flowing again.
The astrologer, Chani Nicholas, posted a message about that full moon on Instagram that caught my eye: “The full moon in Virgo brings about pivotal shifts, highlights missed steps, and brings into focus what we need to adjust in order for our systems to function as well as possible. Virgo is interested in digestion, integration, and removal of what doesn’t work. We are reminded to come back into alignment with ourselves.” Yup. That sums it up perfectly.
I am learning how to use energy and how to recognize when I’m tapping into an energy that does not serve myself or others. I am learning a new way of being and working that is in alignment with my true essence. The learning process is a rocky one. I had veered from the path and this was a course correction. Thank you Virgo full moon!