Let’s talk about transitions.
My baby girl went to college last month. Transitions and change are top of mind.
Plus - the autumn equinox kicked off Mabon season on The Wheel of The Year. A season of transition. The themes for this Mabon season are:
the balance of light and dark
transition
completion
preparing for winter rest
releasing
I’m in a period of transition as we explore empty nesting so this theme is very present for me. I’ve found this book I’m reading/listening to “Falling Upward”, by Richard Rohr, really thought provoking and helpful as I process. It’s about the first half of life themes versus the 2nd half of life themes, from a developmental perspective.
Life transitions.
I really loved the example he gave of the Japanese ceremony to transition their soldiers out of war. “Discharging Your Loyal Soldier.” He describes how after war (could you call raising a child “war”?! Arguably yes.), the soldiers need a broader identity in order to rejoin their community as useful citizens. And they have a ceremony for this.
The soldiers are publicly thanked, honored, and praised effusively for their service to the people. Then an elder stands and announces with great authority something like: “The war is now over. The community needs you to let go of what has served you, and served us, well up to now. The community needs you to return as a man, a citizen, and something beyond soldier.”
He says this kind of closure is needed for most of us at a transition point in life. A rite of passage, a clear cross-over, a closure and transition into a new period. An invitation to consider your new direction, and your importance as part of the whole.
He talks about how the US is “ritually starved.” I agree. We have no/few rites of passage ceremonies where we say - “That was then. This is now. And it’s a good thing!” We’re just like - yeah have those babies and good luck. Or drop that kid off at college and then…idk…whatever bro. Go have a beer.
So I’ve been thinking about the transition of mothering in this “discharging the Japanese soldier” way (cuz let’s be honest, mothering felt alot like war to me ;-)) and I made some journal prompts for myself. I imagined a wise elder saying these to me:
· Thank you for the service you have provided. <Praise yourself ALOT here>
· Your job then was…
· You are now something beyond who you were.
· Your job now is…
· Your community needs you to…
· You can contribute in these ways…
It feels really nice and uplifting and important and sacred to have an elder (albeit not in human form) walk me through this.
Maybe this is helpful to you too, no matter the nature of your transition. You could look at it as the transition of our global community, of the collective consciousness…transitions of all sorts abound.
And your community needs you!
Thank you for your service.
You are now something beyond who you were. Who are you now?
If these prompts spark some things you’d like to work through, I’m available for coaching and guidance on your path. You don’t have to do it alone. It helps to say it out loud. Schedule a session!