I chose a word for 2021. Alignment. I have never chosen a word of the year. A year is a long time to commit to just one word. That’s a lot of pressure on a word! So I chose 5 - haha! But ALIGNMENT is my main word and the other 4 all come back to that word.
I did that Facebook word search thing that was going around. I believe it is a fun and playful way for Spirit to direct your attention. The other 4 words that jumped out at me were: purpose, connection, strength and change. I did some reflection and journaling on these words and they resonate so much. And as a confirmation, I am seeing and hearing “alignment” everywhere.
I feel as if I am coming into alignment. I had a nearly 30-year career in corporate wellness. The “corporate” part no longer felt right…well, it never did but I wanted it to so I figured out how to play the game, and I did it well. But it was never who I was. It was not aligned. It is exhausting to try to be someone you’re not day after day. To live out of alignment. I have spent the past few years, since leaving the corporate environment, stepping back into who I really am. That means owning my weirdness, sharing it more and more, and being and doing what honestly feels aligned for me.
I am learning to be more in the feminine flow, and to trust that. I love to be in that flow, but I have thought that I needed to WORK more, not flow more. I should have a task list, a plan for the day, a schedule, goals. I should be driven if I want to succeed. I need to hustle, to work HARD, to sacrifice, to be exhausted, overwhelmed and irritated. THAT means that I am really “working hard”, which is what I’m supposed to do, right? Do you remember that Seinfeld episode when George Costanza had the theory that in order to seem capable to George Steinbrenner that he just always had to act tired and frustrated and exasperated? And he was right…Steinbrenner took those cues to mean that George was doing great work. I bought into that.
Then there is the matter of my health, which means I don’t have sustained energy – how will I hustle and (over)work in order to build a business?! I quite literally can’t do that. And that’s the only way to be successful, right? Plus I have a family- kids with health issues that require so much of my time and energy and attention. Family needs to be my priority and then I won’t have anything left.
Do you see the cage I constructed for myself? I love that Eagles line: “so often times it happens that we live our lives in chains, and we never even know we have the key.” What I have come to see is that all of those pre-conceived notions are just thoughts. They aren’t real. And I don’t have to believe those thoughts. I know they are holding me back. For YEARS I have had this dream of City Cricket. This dream of connecting women and helping them to connect with themselves and find what lights them up, trust their intuition, take care of themselves, and be who they want to be. I was sometimes able to do that work in the corporate world. But I knew for years that I could do more and better on my own. So why am I going to let those thoughts - that are probably not true - hold me back from what I know is my purpose?
The answer is I’m not gonna!! No sir-ee bob! No more. I will no longer buy into those thoughts. I am free to create whatever I want and however I want! This is all part of coming into ALIGNMENT with my PURPOSE…providing space and community, tools and experiences, that help women CONNECT to their higher selves. These are my 2021 words!
This is a year of big CHANGE for me. It will require STRENGTH, but not in the old ways that I have looked at strength. Strength for me now means:
having the courage to use my voice - no matter what people may think of what I say – because what I say and do seems weird to a lot of people. That’s ok.
taking care of myself, which may mean doing fewer tasks, but more aligned tasks.
listening to my intuition and messages from Spirit about the next right step- aligning my knowing with my actions. Trusting that the messages that I hear are the path. Flowing more.
So here’s to 2021 – a year of alignment, purpose, connection, strength and change. Here’s to flowing more, here’s to trusting your intuition. I’m ready!