...Sing it with me..."is love, sweet love." You might want to pull up that song on your listening devise now. I like Cat Powers' version best ;-).
So I gotta be honest, I went to bed angry and I woke up angry...and I'm still hanging onto it a bit. Found out last night that a friend of ours' sweet little baby had to go to the ER last night because she had a fever and was in respiratory distress. She's ok (as of late last night at least). Thank god. Still say a prayer for her, and her family - she has 2 little sisters. However, it made me REALLY mad...mad that people are STILL not taking this seriously, and going to Hobby Lobby and the mall, and wherever else they think is so important. How did little Rasa get it? Who knows. Which is the point. People are carrying it around (vectors) and don't know it and think they are fine and healthy and exempt from staying home, and then they give it to an old lady who really just needed milk. Or to a sweet little baby who has to get oxygen now. I'm not gonna go down that path any farther, because a) you get the idea; b) I've done it over and over; c) it doesn't help me feel better, and d) i don't think it's helpful for anyone.
PS: they were told in the ER (Peyton Manning) that they are only testing people who are admitted to the ICU, cuz there aren't enough tests. So that # of infected people reported daily...yeah, it is meaningless.
So...after going to bed with that news, and trying to shake it (unsuccessfully), I woke up late (I hate that) and to a sink full of dirty dishes. And the counter too. Wow did that stoke my anger fire. PEOPLE! Do you think that a pandemic means that you are absolved from your household duties?! No! That is definitely NOT in the pandemic handbook! I banged around in that kitchen so hard to punish anyone who might be feeling peaceful in the house.
Then I came downstairs and saged the shit out of myself to get rid of it all. Helped a little. Went into meditation, holding my rose quartz (for love), and selenite (this selenite practically JUMPED into my path at Playful Soul one time. I wasn't looking for it, but I could just see it's power vibrating. It is used to clear, open, and activate the Crown and Higher Chakras, and used for protection). So the first thing I do in daily morning meditation is call in my guides, and ancestors, and recently - because it's all hands on deck here people - the angels...all of them...and the goddesses, and the Grandmothers (from the book "A Call To Power: The Grandmothers Speak...Amazing book). And here's what they did: They all came in and got in a circle, holding each other's shoulders (you know like a football team does in a huddle sometimes), and they stacked on top of each other (cuz there's no earth gravity in their realm - this must be fun, huh? ;-)). So picture them in a tall cylinder, all circled around a fire, watching it and swaying back and forth in this gentle dance of sorts. I could feel that they were watching Earth burn. The fire was Earth. We are on fire, folks. And it has to happen. And then I felt this LOVE. And the song "What the World Needs Now...is love sweet love" came into my head.
I don't want to be angry. But it's a pretty natural feeling. And ignoring and smashing down our feelings is not helpful. They will come back out in another way - illness, snapping at your loved ones, beating yourself up for something silly. So feel it. Sit in it. Ask it what it has to show you. You know what my anger showed me? That I like to be right. I was finger pointing and blaming and all on fire with self righteousness. Well that's ugly. And not how I want to show up in the world. And it doesn't feel good. It doesn't help anyone feel better and it makes me feel really shitty. And I don't want to feel shitty. But I'm honestly not quite done feeling it. I'm gonna do a meditation here in a bit to further connect and feel it totally - really get into it - so that I can work through it. Really work through it, not just ignore it or suppress it. Maybe I'll record it and post it. Stay tuned for that...
So that is my point (I have never been known for economy of word ;-))...feel the feels. We're gonna get pissed, and scared, and all the other junky emotions that we humans have and don't like to feel. It's part of the process. Feel them. See them. Walk through them. And then after you do that, maybe we could focus on loving. No matter who is right or wrong (from your perspective or mine). No matter who is quarantining and who isn't. No matter who cleans up the kitchen or who doesn't. Let's express our emotions - get it out. And then come back around to love.
Check out my youtube video - a little tour of my meditation altar and a 13ish minute meditation (starts at 9:44) for feeling your feelings (the ones you don’t like), moving through them, and choosing a different one. I worked through anger and chose love, but you can choose your own emotions to work through.
And now let's join our virtual hands...OH! Yes, let's actually do that - picture it right now. Picture yourself in circle with a million people, around a fire, and all singing "What the world needs now, is love sweet love, it's the only thing that there's just too little of..." Just sit there and do that for a minute. It feels good.
Btw - the frequency of love is 528. So maybe do a Spotify search for 528hz and play that in the background when you're feeling like Miss Judgey Pants. Or even when you're not.
So...today I'm sending you...understanding. And grace. Because it's messy. And we're not all going to do this right or well all the time. But let's come back around to love as much as we can.
Peace be with you, friends. (I'm not Catholic, but have always loved when they do this at mass and it feels really good and right these days).
