A Divine Message For You

As I got to my meditation spot this morning I heard “don’t forget who you are.” Then I heard to draw from my White Light Oracle deck (by Alana Fairchild). 

Maybe you need this message too?

“The doe survives and thrives while being in her own true nature. You don’t need to be something you are not. This oracle brings guidance that the healing you need will not come from logical sources. It requires a deep letting go and restructuring from within. Consider what practice and people can facilitate this.”

I’ll leave it at that. I bet you know what it means for you.

Ushering In Your Next Era

I have received several messages that the 8/8/23 Lion’s Gate Portal brought to a close an 8-year era for me that began in 2015. It’s been SO FUN to hear several of you respond that this 8-year era ending also resonates for you. Thanks for sharing with me!

The 2015 messages haven’t stopped. After I sent you my Monday newsletter I opened my email and clicked on a newsletter from one of my beautiful friends. The first line was…yup, you guessed it: “…in 2015”…I kid you not!

Then I walked upstairs and was telling James about all of my 2015 messages. 5 minutes later he came into my room with his computer and said “WATCH THIS!”. It was a music theory video he was watching that was dissecting Adele’s song “Hello”, from…you guessed it again…2015!

I’ve listened to Hello several times in the past few days. It feels like a conversation between my past and future selves. Plus…ADELE! THAT VOICE! That voice alone is pure magic. She could sing about dog hair and I’d be moved.

Back to past and future selves…

When I connected in meditation this morning it came to me how much appreciation I have for my past self – that Warrior who navigated the last 8 years. I’m so thankful for her ferocity and tenacity, for her curiosity, her exploration, for her allowing, her willingness to expand. She was a bad ass. I’m thankful that she wielded the swords when necessary, and that she curled in child’s pose to rest and receive when necessary.

She had a lot on her plate. She was far from perfect. But she stepped up and did the things.

I could have never predicted what my last 8 years would have brought. And I would have never signed up for it…well, I guess my soul signed up for it, huh? ;-). She’s so brave, my Soul, my Higher Self. And crazy! That girl/not a girl (reference from The Good Place show, which I highly recommend!) is so crazy!

So as I bring this era to a close, I’m exploring my intentions for my next era, also with the awareness that who the heck knows what it will bring! As the tarot card for my next era says: “Life is never predictable.” But I do want to put some intention into how I’m showing up, and who I want to be, whether I’m summiting a mountain or trudging through a valley or crossing a raging river.

Here are the questions I’m exploring:

• In this next era, what do I want to leave behind?

• What stories from past eras are now stale and lifeless?

• What new stories do I want to create?

• Who do I want to be? How do I want to show up? 

And I’ll close with this share – an IG post from Dr Deborah Quibell:

You don’t have to have the answers. You just have to have the courage to ask the questions.

You don’t have to know the outcome. You just have to have the courage to consider all possibilities.

You don’t have to have clarity. You just have to have the courage to listen to what you already know (and are perhaps ignoring).

You don’t have to know the path. You just have to have the courage to listen and figure out the next step.

If you’d like help exploring and creating your next era, this is exactly the kind of thing I do in my 1:1 Evolution Package! You can schedule a discovery call to talk about what you want and what our work together might look like for you.

Thoughts on Manifestation

Do you want this <<<<<< in that picture? I do!

It gives me a feeling of total freedom and joy and wild abandon. It’s my summer vibe! It reminds me of summer days when I was a kid on my banana seat bike called “Summer Blonde”, with the fringies on the handlebars and the basket with the plastic daisies, with nothing but time and adventures on my mind.

I went to a pranic healing advanced workshop this past weekend in Chicago. WOWZA! It’s related…trust me…

The workshop was focused on the art of manifesting/materializing what you desire…like this joyful summer lake scene.

One of the MANY things I LOVED about the training was that it brought together my worlds:

• my work in the psychology/human behavior world for 30+ years AND

• spirituality AND

• energy work/pranic healing AND

• the neuroscience I love to geek out on (the “To Be Magnetic” subconscious reprogramming work, among others).

Here are a few of my big take-aways from the weekend:

1. Thoughts are things. They are. In the pranic healing world they even call them “thought forms”. If you think something enough it becomes reality. It takes on physical form. If you think you have all the time in the world, time expands. Relating this to the summer lake photo ^^ If you think your summer is full of freedom, joy, wild abandon…you find it. You create it. It’s true. You can! I’ve done it. I’m doing it this summer! (PS: faking positivity and saying affirmations you don’t believe doesn’t work tho.) I’ve taught this theory and practice for 30+ years. Pranic Healing has revealed a different layer and angle to it that will benefit my clients even more! It’s why my coaching program and pranic healing work SO WELL together!

2. If your energy field is dirty, things don’t flow freely: messages, intuition, pings, opportunities, creativity, money, energy, etc. Just like our physical body, our energy body needs a shower every now and then. It gets dirty with negativity, other people’s energy, old stories, past lives, etc. If your energy field gets too dirty, it slows everything down and it can even manifest as physical illness. Pranic healing is your energy shower.

3. Meditate. It’s free. I can help though if you want help.

Here’s to manifesting the life experience that you want. As Master Choa Kok Sui, the developer of pranic healing, said: “You were born to manifest your greatness”!!!

What Part Is Wanting To Express?

During my daily morning meditation/ contemplation time I was instructed to draw a card from The Archeo deck, by Nick Bantock. This deck and the ways Nick suggests using it have been really helpful to me lately. The cards represent different architypes, different parts of ourselves that we all have. It has been fun to explore the expression of my different parts through these cards.

As I shuffled the deck, I asked for a bit of direction and encouragement. My call was for a card to reveal and tap into the part of me that wants to express right now. Who inside of me wants to come forward?

The Poet.

I’ll be honest, it brought some shadow…which was likely part of the point of the draw ;-). Examining our shadow is always helpful for growth. Do not fear the dark.

My first thought: my husband is the poet. He is an ACTUAL poet. A talented and published poet. And then: my sister is the writer. She got all the writing awards in school. People PAY her to write.

But the Poet part of me is wanting to express. That’s what the card is telling me anyway. Ha! So I read on, trusting, as I have learned to do with card draws. And most everything, really.

“The Poet lets his imagination run free! His words concentrate and distill (ok, my words do not do that. It’s more like they sprawl all over the page and roll around). His words make visible the ethereal, bringing focus to beauty, and inviting us to pause and consider.”

At this point, I was drawn out of my self examination and elevated into beauty and truth. I really FELT what art, in various forms, can do for us. I felt elevated. I wrote in my journal – “YES!!! THAT is what I want to do in my work. In my life.”

“An elegant romantic, he merges rich experience with the unexpected, synthesizing the essence of every moment, making the world more vibrant. His words help you filter through your thoughts and feelings in order to reveal your most noble self.”

THAT is EXACTLY what I strive to do in my work. That is the pinnacle for me. My ultimate goal in working with my clients.

“He is a distiller of word and image, a lyricist and champion of higher ideals, beautifully wrapped in string and rice paper…The poet will never let anything become ordinary (at this point the sun crested my house and shone on my face! Seriously. I can’t make this shit up). Through his eyes you will see the greatest of spiral galaxies set within the smallest of sea shells.”

“He is searching for the quiet truths, fiercely hacking away at the tarmac and weeds, attempting to reveal the peace hidden beneath the city’s sidewalks.”

“We require poets and artists to keep from stagnating. Such unconventional thinking threatens the status quo. Each day we must fight not for power or wealth, but for the words and marks that articulate the sharp taste of our existence.”

AHHHHH YESSSS!!!! That’s what I’m going for – in all of my various expressions.

So what and who is wanting to express in you right now?

If you’d like a guide to make the ethereal visible, to bring focus to beauty, to help you make your world more vibrant, to help you filter through your thoughts and feelings in order to reveal your most noble self, to help you elevate out of the ordinary, to find the quiet truths, to reveal the peace hidden beneath, to pull out of stagnation…THAT is EXACTLY what I do.

Come.

Schedule a discovery session and we’ll talk about what you want and how I can help. And if you’re ready, just go ahead and sign up for my 3 month 1:1 evolution program.

The End Of An Era

This past week has been a transformative time for me. 

• I took the next level pranic healing class, which is focused on developing our spiritual practice so that we can be clearer channels and therefore stronger healers. It shifted things at a cellular level. 

• And then Tuesday’s full moon energy - whoa!

• And the activation of the Lion’s Gate Portal tomorrow…

Whamy! Wowza!

Here's how it has unfolded…

My 16yo daughter, who has not been in a school building since 4th grade because of her autoimmune disease PANDAS, decided to go to high school…in a building! And she’s well enough! And she’s thriving. She started last week. It’s a big deal for all of us.

Then the year 2015 came to me a few different times:

• I have a Sleep Number bed and a part failed which has resulted in my side of the bed losing air! I end up sleeping on the slats. It’s like camping (the bad parts). When I called to get a replacement part they told me we got it in 2015.

• Then Scott and I were talking about a local artist that we loved who passed several years ago, Susan Hodgins. We loved her work and have regretted not buying one of her paintings. Then, 2 days later we were in a local shop and saw one of her paintings! There was a note beside it saying that she passed in 2015 and that The Harrison Arts Center was entrusted with her work, which you can purchase!  

I have since found out that Susan actually passed in 2014, but this got me to thinking about what was up with 2015?! So I grabbed my phone and looked at my Notes app for clues about what was going on with me in 2015. 

I found some interesting things:

• I started recording Ruby’s symptoms and illness patterns that year. It was a rough one. Full of confusion and fear.

• I was introduced to the work of a local TCM doctor who has since become a friend, a mentor, and a frequency activator for me.

• I sent a text to a friend about some ideas that would later become City Cricket!

• I met one of my best friends

Then I realized that 2015 was 8 years ago. So I started researching the significance of the number 8:

• Spiritual balance and symmetry

• Karmic patterns

• A symbol of gain – wisdom, strength, abundance, success

• In religious texts it symbolizes the beginning of a new era, a re-birth

I think the Lions Gate portal tomorrow (8/8) is ushering in a new era for me. All of these signs point me to that truth. And I FEEEEEEEL it! 

And pulling in the significance of my bed: the way I am held and supported, the way I rest and regenerate – I’m getting an upgrade, a new part.

Then I was called to do a tarot spread: the past era, where I am now, and the next era

Past Era - Two of Swords: “Inner conflict, the strategies you have in place are unsustainable, you are managing skillfully but will soon be exhausted, you must do something, the issue can no longer be ignored. Pause, take inventory and find your way through this struggle” 

Ummmm…YUP! Definitely the themes of the last 8 years.

Present – Ten of Swords: “Final release, surrendered, exposed. A new beginning! You have a view that you have struggled with long enough, it has grown old and is no longer useful. Surrender these ideas to create space for something new, it will change your life.” 

This has prompted me to list what old patterns and ideas, ways of thinking and being, do I want to release?

Next Era – Wheel of Fortune: “Unexpected change. Life is never predictable, change is inevitable and necessary. Sometimes we are summiting the mountain and sometimes we are trudging through the valley. It is simply life. Good fortune, unforeseen joy, forward movement.”

I’ll take that.

So here we are. The end of an era. The beginning of the unknown. I feel supported and ready. 

And I JUST CAN’T close this without pointing out that Taylor Swift is on her “Eras Tour”!!!!! Coincidence? I don’t think so ;-).

the creative process

I made and decorated this cake for my daughter Ruby for her birthday. I gotta say, I was quite proud! This, along with a convo I had this week with an artist friend has me reflecting on the creative process and it seems applicable to more than just cake:

I started my process by getting a sense of the vibe I wanted: soft understated colors and nature-y, she likes pink and green. I looked at some Pinterest cakes for ideas and inspiration. I didn’t end up creating anything close to what I looked at, but they got my creative juices flowing. I bought some blush pink fake flowers and a soft pink candle holder. I knew I wanted a few blooms from the yard for a touch of actual real-life nature.

Then I just let go.

Honestly, I believe it was channeled. I was aware at one point that I was going in and out of the house with my scissors scanning the garden beds like a possessed madman. I said to myself about ¼ of the way in – What am I doing? Where is this going? This does NOT look good. <my brain talking>

When I was done, I felt like I had been in a fog, in some other dimension.

Now listen, I realize this is not Michelangelo artistry here, although my sister DID call it a triumph and crowned me Queen of Cakes…I’m just sayin…

But the creative process is what I find fascinating - when you let go of your gripping brain and let the process flow, co-create with The Universe.

Whatever you’re creating when you’re in that state seems to be amazing.

I had an inspiring conversation this week with my artist friend and pranic healing client Amy about her creative process. She is an ACTUAL artist. Like really good. People pay her for her paintings and she has a studio. You can check out her work here and see for yourself.

Anyway…Amy was telling me about her creative process. She casts the framework – the intention/idea/direction/emotion, and then The Universe co-creates with her. And she must complete it in the form that she cast. She swears the painting changes when she steps away, as if the artist fairies (that’s my term ;-)) come in and help - “she’s trying so hard, we’ll just touch it up a bit for her.”

I remember Elizabeth Gilbert telling the story in her book “Big Magic” that her friend Ann Patchett wrote a book with the exact detailed and specific story line that she had started to develop and abandoned that same year. She swore that when they met in person and kissed goodbye that the inspiration for the story left Elizabeth and was transferred to Ann.

It’s magic.

Creativity – on any level, in any form – is magic. Whether it’s creating a human in our body, a meal, a painting, a garden, decorating a room, writing a book, creating a safe space for clients, a podcast, a song, a vision for your next job…you name it.

When we let our human brain rest and allow the magic to come through, you never know what masterpiece will unfold.

My heart dresses in black and dances

This Mary Oliver poem reminds me of the emotional rollercoaster week I had a few weeks ago…full of family and old friends, laughs and tears. 

My aunt died, my dad’s oldest sister. She was the last of his living siblings. That feels sad. She was a remarkable woman. I got to connect with my cousins from different parts of the country that I don’t see very often. They are cool and hilarious. We told lots of family stories. That felt good. 

A day full of sadness. Full of happiness. 

“My heart dresses in black and dances.”

My nephew Michael, who has special needs, graduated from high school that same week. As he walked across the stage, he paused in the middle, turned to look at the crowd with a huge smile. He just stood there and soaked in the moment. We all teared up and the crowd roared with claps and cheers. My eyes are wet again now, as I think about it. 

His party was a great celebration! I again got to connect with lots of friends and family that I don’t see very often. I “sang” Karaoke with Michael, who is mostly non-verbal, but made happy sounds. Although I could say the words, I canNOT carry a tune! We made a joyful noise ;-). It was so special to connect with him in that way.

A week full of happiness. Full of sadness. 

“My heart dresses in black and dances.”

I loved all of the social time. All of the connections and reconnections. All of the deep and shallow and funny and sad conversations. And it was too much activity for my immune-compromised body. I had some heavy-duty fatigue for the full week afterwards.

I’m thankful for the week, with the full range of emotions. 

“My heart dresses in black and dances.”

I talked to people about the energy work that I do. I was surprised by some of the reactions from people that I did not expect - the rural Indiana deer hunter got it. I talked with a cousin I rarely see about energy and signs and belief in the unseen. We were on the same page. I was not expecting that.

“I have small frog brothers and tall thin heron brothers.”

Then my daughter, who has suffered greatly with a severe case of the autoimmune disease PANDAS, turned 16 and decided she wants to go back to a school building this fall. The fact that she is able to even consider this is astounding. Her last year in a school building was 4th grade because she has been too sick to manage traditional school. We stopped all formal education in 2020 because she was too sick for even basic daily functions. She’s been unschooling and healing since then. She took personal responsibility for her health and has healed herself so much in the last 3 years that she wants to do this. And believes she can. And I believe in her determination. 

I am both full of pride and full of anxiety. Is this the best thing for her? All the what ifs…

“My heart dresses in black and dances.”

My friend Dara reminded me that all of this can be true at once – sadness and happiness, tears and laughs, fatigue and gratitude, pride and anxiety. 

“My heart dresses in black and dances.”

And Mary Oliver reminds me that we’re all connected. We’re not as different as we might expect. We’re all working together to figure it out. 

“I have small brothers and tall thin brothers and my heart dresses in black and dances.”

rediscovering yourself

I did not draw the “easy parenting experience” card. 

I had lunch with my long-time, pre-kid, friend Chris today. I was updating her on my children and on my personal growth journey as a parent and a person. She said: “Wow girl! You have come a LOOOONG way.”  

I said yes, I sure have, thankyouverymuch, deep bow…and most of the way kicking and screaming. It was HARRRRD. I resisted a lot of it. It was rarely joyful, if I’m being honest. It was NOT AT ALL what I envisioned when I thought about being a mom and having a family. It was the opposite. 

My oldest just turned 23. Porter is my husband’s biological son and I adopted him when he was 5, when Scott and I married. My youngest, Ruby, is the daughter Scott and I had together and she just turned 16. They are both in a really good place right now after years of serious struggle- mental health, a severe auto-immune disease, many other health issues, learning disabilities, the trauma of abandonment. 

Walking children through all that is a tough road. 

My Human Design chart says that I am meant to have shocking experiences, learn from them and share. Yup. I feel seen.

I have had some shocking experiences. I learned. Now I’m sharing.

One of the many good things that came out of those dark times and all of those shocking experiences was my spiritual awakening and journey to connect with a higher power on a deep level. All of the human stuff was failing me. I needed something more.

I also learned to care less about what people think. I am pretty certain that many people thought (and undoubtedly still do) that we were parenting ALL WRONG. Or maybe (undoubtedly) that was just my projection, because I thought I was doing it all wrong! I just had to let that go, although it was a slow release. 

The way I thought I would parent did not work for us. The way many people around me parented did not work for us. We tried the standard formula, and many other formulas. We tried how we were raised. Those did not work either.

My kids required me to rethink pretty much EVERY. SINGLE. THING I thought I knew. They required me to go deeper. They required me to step into my power. They required me to ask for help. They required me to trust my instincts. They required me to do better and be better. I have come a long way because of them.

They are amazing people because of all of that struggle. They are so cool and strong and independent. They know their mind. They know what they like and don’t like. They don’t tolerate bull shit. They are not swayed by society norms and expectations. They go their own way. They are talented and they do what they like. They are hilarious.

In the last year or so I’ve felt the struggle of parenting ease up. I’ve been able to begin to rediscover myself. Who am I NOW? What do I like and not like? I don’t like white chocolate and I like to go to bed early. 

What do I WANT? 

What do I want to do, where do I want to go, who do I want to be with? It’s a new phase. It’s exciting. It’s a process. I’ve been focusing more lately, with the help of my coach, on what I WANT. For a while I got real stuck in what I DIDN’T want, what was wrong, the problems I thought I needed to fix. I don’t do much fixing anymore.

I’ve found coaching and pranic healing energy work to be hugely helpful for my growth. That’s why I offer those services.

I have also found that being in groups of like-minded women is nurturing and inspiring. I’ll be offering a group later this summer.

I’ve been through some things. And it has made me a better coach/guide/healer. I won’t tell you what to do. That never helped me. But I can hold space, share tools, reflect, and help you connect with your own truth on a deeper level.

And one last thing: this post was inspired by my friend and Human Design Wizard, Cameron Coots. She’s in the earlier years of motherhood and shared her experience in a blog post this week. It was so inspiring to me and prompted me to reflect on my own journey. I encourage you to head over to read her post. And sign up for a Human Design session with her. They are illuminating and inspiring and have helped me in very practical ways to live in alignment with my authentic self. 

There are so many helpers along the way. Reach out and grab a hand. Or offer one. You don’t have to walk it alone.

The Grandmothers on Pranic Healing

I was instructed by The Grandmothers this morning that they had a message for me in Book 1 (A Call to Power, The Grandmothers Speak. By Sharon McErlane). If you haven’t heard me talk about these spiritual guides, you can read the background here. 

In this story Sharon, the author, did a Shamanic journey to The Grandmothers for relief from a 2-week bout of unexplained depression and anxiety. Her description of the anxiety made me giggle: “My mind is just full of itself.”

Here’s the story:

“The Grandmothers comforting arms closed round me and they created a cocoon and swung me back and forth inside it. Then one of them reached inside my body and extracted something from my middle. I watched as she pulled out a black, insect-like thing whose barbed pincers had been stabbing at me. This crawly thing had created my depression. It had made everything in me hurt and feel somehow wrong.

Then they pulled something else out of my stomach. I heard a sound like “pow!” as air whooshed from my lungs and another black thing exploded out of me. I watched them plunge in through my spine and fling dark objects into the air.

After a few minutes my breath grew calm and I heard myself say, The Grandmothers are breathing power into me.

This stuff, the cause of my misery, had been so well hidden that I hadn’t known it was there. My training as a therapist had taught me to believe that the pain of unresolved issues from childhood is what causes most depression and anxiety. But the black things The Grandmothers were pulling out of me went way beyond this explanation. I had no understanding of this stuff. It was primitive, primordial.

‘That’s enough for now’, they said. ‘This is just garbage from the past.’ These black things had originated in lifetimes long, long ago.

‘You must be strengthened’, they said. ‘Your aura, your bones, vertebrae, digestion and breathing. Let the power of your garden heal and fill you. It will strengthen you.’

Y’ALL!!! THIS IS PRANIC HEALING!! We’re extracting the energetic junk that gets in the way of the normal flow of prana (life force energy). This “garbage from the past”, as the Grandmothers call it, can come from previous lifetimes, from this lifetime, from negative thought patterns, from other people, from toxins in the environment, and who knows where else really. There is an element of mystery here. But it works! 

When our energetic flow is blocked, our body, mind and emotions suffer. Removing this junk strengthens our aura (the energetic protective layer around your body) and all other bodily functions so that everything flows with more ease.

My clients have reported feeling physical changes, pain relief, emotional shifts, increased creativity, opportunities coming, clarity, messages from their guides, money, increased energy, among others. It’s astonishing! Wanna try it? Skip on over to my pranic healing page to schedule a session.

It's Beltane Season

Monday May 1 marked the beginning of Beltane season on The Celtic Wheel. 

It’s time for flowering and beautiful expression! Time for birthing new ideas, projects, habits. Spring cleaning and clearing. 

Beltane is about celebrating and giving thanks for vitality, life and fertility returning to the earth.

We welcome abundance – blossoms on the trees, blooming flowers, growing leaves, baby animals. The land starts to offer food again. In Indiana it’s morel mushrooms, garlic mustard, violets, and soon asparagus.

As the daylight continues to lengthen and strengthen, we feel our inner vitality and light growing too. 

Beltane is a time for blossoming & expanding into our potential.

What potential is wanting to flower in you?

In what ways is your soul wanting to blossom? 

COVID Lessons

We’re in the season of Ostara on The Celtic Wheel (March 20 - May 1). We see these energetic themes of Ostara showing up in nature and in ourselves, because we’re all connected:

• expansive and exuberant

• lifeforce rising

• a coming alive

• contemplation of the dance of opposing forces and finding balance - dark and light, masculine and feminine, inner and outer, fears and desires

• celebration of birth and renewal

• a time for new beginnings

• plant seeds for the future

Ostara energy has shown up for me this season in ways I didn’t expect. I have seen and experienced and felt ALL of these energies this season.

I woke up not feeling well on March 28 - the day I was heading to Wisconsin for a week of pranic healing training and retreat. I was REAL DING-DANGED excited about this trip! I thought it would be expansive, exuberant, a coming alive, an energetic upgrade, new experiences and new information that would be explosively exciting, like the spring blooms bursting out of the ground.

You feel my vibe? I was REAL excited.

I was bummed that I didn’t feel great but figured it was probably just a little cold and I pushed on (I did test negative for COVID). I can be willful, and some may even say stubborn (you’re laughing aren’t you Mom?). When I have my mind set on something NOTHING will stop me! Not the sore throat, not the body aches, not the rising 102 temp…nothing!

Here’s the short story: It was COVID. I avoided it for 3 years and THIS was the day it came. I tested negative until Friday morning so I was permitted to be masked in the back of the conference room for the first 2 days. 

Then I was alone in my hotel room for 3 days watching HGTV and being SICK! 

Oh yeah, and a tornado went through that Friday night! Resort staff knocked on doors and evacuated guests to the CREEPY old basement. A tree fell on a room. Luckily there were no injuries at the resort.

There are only 8 pranic healing masters in the WORLD and 2 of them were there. There was some serious energy at that resort folks!

None of this was what I expected. But here’s how I have come to see it:

• I had the opportunity to ask for help- I always need practice with that

• I was cared for- thank you Paula Lord, and other healers

• I had the opportunity to deeply rest and relax for 3 full days

• When you are that sick there is no better place to be than in the energy of 2 masters of pranic healing and over 200 healers from all over the world

• I got what I needed. I always do. Sometimes I don’t know what I need, so I am redirected.

When I look at that list of energetic themes of Ostara season, I have experienced ALL of them this season. I love that about The Celtic Wheel – it offers an awareness of the many energies flowing through us, shifting, expanding us, and the lessons that nature mirrors for us.

I’m finally feeling better after 2+ weeks. I’m feeling like I’m coming alive again. Another Ostara theme. I know the rest was necessary. I know that seeds were planted. I know this is a new beginning. There is always a new beginning. 

How has Ostara energy presented in your life? Have things gone as you expected? What lessons has the season brought you? How will you choose to use them? 

Affirmations

Can we talk about affirmations?

I’ll start here: I’m not criticizing affirmations. However, when used alone, I have found they fall flat and are often not effective for getting the outcome you desire.

Spirit, mind, body and emotions all contribute to wellness. Affirmations fall into the mind category. They are a type of mindset/thought work.

And I have some thoughts about thought work.

Here are a few pitfalls I have experienced with affirmations – from now on when I say affirmations I am also including mindset and thought work in the same category, k?

First: We can use affirmations to avoid feeling emotions. Ask me how I know.

Ok, since you asked, here’s a personal example: a few years ago I was driving to meet a group of fun peeps for dinner. I felt irritated and angry. I tried to reason/affirmation my way out of it – I love all these people. Why are you irritated? It’s going to be fun. I am blessed to have these people in my life. On and on.

Still irritated.

Then I decided to look at my emotions using a process that I learned in the book “Letting Go” by David R Hawkins. I also use it with my clients. The theory is that our “problematic” thoughts – the ones we don’t like or want – come from repressed emotions. If you repress an emotion, it pops up as a thought. We cannot talk ourselves out of these thoughts with other thoughts/affirmations. But when we go through the process of identifying and feeling the repressed emotion, the unwanted thought dissolves.

I tried it. It worked!

I realized the emotion I was repressing was sadness. My family didn’t want to go with me and I was going alone. That made me sad. I didn’t want to be sad so I stuffed it. Here came the unwanted thoughts – Why am I driving to a restaurant in the suburbs? I’m tired and don’t feel like going, etc. Those thoughts created anger. Vicious circle.

Once I went through the process (in like 3 minutes while I was driving) and shed a tear or two (that’s how the emotion wanted to be processed), my mood suddenly lightened and I felt great! My thoughts also shifted.

I processed it all before I was even half way to dinner and had a wonderful time!

Second point: We are encouraged to use affirmations to create our reality – to manifest what we want. There is a school of thought that says we manifest from our subconscious and any limiting beliefs that are lurking down there.

We can say all of the positive affirmations we want but if our subconscious mind doesn’t believe it, then nothing changes. The work here is to get into your subconscious, find those limiting beliefs tucked deep away, and reprogram them. There’s a process for that that I can explain if you’re interested (I like the work of Lacy Phillips at To Be Magnetic for this).

There are a few other theories too, but this isn’t a Psych 303 class so they didn’t make the syllabus for this email. These are the 2 different theories and processes that I have found to be the most helpful in shifting my reality and mood. Affirmations can then follow and support that.

I believe there is absolutely a place for affirmations. I use them. I like them. Thought work is powerful. I have a giant ongoing list of positive thoughts and beliefs that serve me. I follow mindset coaches and I even have one I am working with 1:1 right now. BUT if this is your ONLY tool, you may want to swing by your local hardware store and see what else is on the shelf. Trust me, that impact driver was TOTALLY worth it. My old electric screwdriver with the (gasp) CORD wasn’t getting all the jobs done.

Wait, we’re not talking about actual tools are we? But if we were I’d talk more about an impact driver.

So do the affirmations. But don’t let that be your only tool. That’s why they created tool boxes – we need more than one tool.

If you need additional tools, I offer a 3-month 1:1 evolution package where we play around in my toolbox and find the perfect tools for the job.

Ostara Season!

Since I started following The Celtic Wheel of the Year a few years ago, I notice that I start to feel the shift of energy a few weeks before the festival celebration date. 

On The Celtic Wheel, the year is divided into 8 energetic cycles – the 2 equinoxes, the 2 solstices, and 4 that land in between each of those.

March 20 marks the spring equinox in the northern hemisphere and the beginning of Ostara season.  The Spring Equinox is a point of perfect balance. Night and day are of equal length and in perfect equilibrium. How are you finding balance?

Ostara is a time of moving out, strengthening, budding. This is the time to literally and figuratively plant seeds for the future. A time for new beginnings. A time for taking action on the dreams you’ve been having during the winter season. 

My motivation is starting to grow.

My daffodils bloomed this week (pictured here)! And boy did that full moon pack a punch- I have a new shot of energy. The natural world is coming alive, the sun is gaining in strength and the days are becoming longer and warmer. 

Ostara is a time to celebrate birth and renewal. 

Since Ostara is all about starting fresh, this is a great time to set new intentions for yourself, your spiritual practice, your work. 

What area of your life needs attention - a little spiff up?

Here’s to fresh new beginnings! Happy Ostara!

Imbolc Energies

We’re in Imbolc season on The Celtic Wheel. I love this season. It’s about 

new life stirring

new beginnings

renewal

clearing and cleansing to make room for the new

Do you feel any of that stirring in you?

All sorts of stuff is brewing within me. New ideas, creative projects, old stories that want to be cleared, glimpses of the next phase coming in.

I’m getting help from a business coach and a personal coach to get things moving. I’m getting pranic energy healing. Everyone needs a support team.

I’m also really craving rest. LUXURIOUS rest is how I’m looking at it. How can I find a rest time in my day and see it as a luxurious time to restore? Not recover because I’m exhausted. But for the pure luxury of it.

I hope you’re enjoying the gifts of Imbolc season.

Climbing Grain Bins

There is a favorite family story about 3-year-old Tracy. 

My dad came to pick me up at my grandparents and I was in the barn lot with my Grandpa Miller. Dad asked me why I was crying and I said that Grandpa spanked me. Dad chuckled and said that if that was indeed the case that I most certainly deserved it and what in the world did I do?!

Turns out I tried to climb the grain bin. For you non-farmer types, that’s about 30 feet tall! They have very small metal ladders on the outside that go straight up- 90 degree angle. That climb is unnerving to most people. My palms are sweating as I type! 

I was THREE YEARS OLD! I tried it once and Grandpa got me down. I did it again and he threatened to spank me if I tried a third time. I didn’t care. I was not giving up. I made a third attempt. 

I was a DETERMINED 3 year old! And I’m a determined 53 year old. 

I don’t care who is going to spank me. I’m fucking climbing that ladder, although it makes my hands sweat and my heart beat fast. If I get pulled back down, I’m trying again. And again. As many times as it takes.

I want to see the view from the top. 

If you have a grain bin that you’d like to climb, let’s work on it together.

We’ll meet 1:1 for 3 months and transform things. We’ll do pranic healing energy work and pull in other tools from my tool box.

You'll clear blocks, gain clarity, feel connected, develop confidence in yourself and your knowings. 

And I’ll distract Grandpa while you skitter on up there to the top! Head on over here for deets.

photo by my hubs.

Wintering in Yule Season

For years I have felt the energy of January as a bridge month. February 1st feels more like my new year. I vibe more with the Chinese on their new year date. 

January is when I rest and doodle - energetically and literally. I purge and refresh everything. I dream and make plans. I don’t put pressure on January. I take the whole month to sink in and feel into what it is I want out of 2023, and beyond. 

On The Celtic Wheel, we’re in Yule season – from December 21 – February 1. A time to rest and contemplate the dance of darkness and light.

A time to embrace the darkness: the space where new beginnings are born - humans, seeds in the ground, inspiration. The dark, quiet, sacred womb of creation. In the silence of the darkness we find necessary rest and introspection. In the darkness we are able to be renewed.

A time to welcome the coming light: faith in the future. Hope. New light brings new life. Expansion. Expression of our truth. In the light we feel the fire of our power.

How are you relating to the darkness and the light? What’s your January vibe?

I invite you to join our Celtic Wheel circles and/or work with me 1:1 if you’d like to dig deeper into your sacred cycles.

Freedom & Power

The Grandmothers brought me a lesson this week:

“You must step forward and be willing to hold more power.”

They give a lesson in this chapter of the book about the concept of evil (Our Love is Our Power, by Sharon McErlane, p 55).

I didn’t really relate to that term, evil. It seems like an archaic term, something that only applies to a serial killer, something very categorical, conspiratorial. But as I noticed my resistance to the term (resistance being a pattern of mine lately that I have been releasing this Samhain season), I began to think of different ways to think about evil. Evil as the opposite of “good and right”. The opposite of “life giving” and vitality. 

One of the themes of Samhain season (the current season on The Celtic Wheel) is about the balance of polarities, the light and the dark, low vibrational frequency vs high. I’ve been playing with all the different forms of that theme this season and this is another lesson on the topic. 

So back to my story…lessons on evil. 

The Grandmothers invite the reader in this lesson to ask The Divine (Your Higher Self, God, Source, Allah, whomever you resonate with) how evil shows up in you. How does it worm its way into you? 

So I asked and my answer was apathy and distracted busyness. Yes. That rings true. When I am in those states I’m not standing in my power. So I took a deeper look at that. 

For me, “taking a look at that” is a combo of journaling, noticing (having an awareness of self and my shenanigans, and how it actually FEELS in my body), and messages that come to me. This week the messages have been from a Pranic Healing client and from a podcast. 

Here’s what I found:

FREEDOM is SUPER important to me. I don’t love responsibility, or commitment, or people relying on me, or being held accountable to something or someone. This shows up in every personality profile I’ve ever taken. I just want to be fancy free! To follow my whims. As I wrote this in my journal, here’s what came next: 

Do I? Is that really true? What am I doing when I “follow my whims” and therefore avoid showing up? Nothing that feels good! So that’s actually a load of shit- that’s how evil shows up in me. That’s how evil keeps me small and keeps the vibration of the world low. Maintaining chaos through fear and apathy. So it’s not about “freedom”, Tracy. 

“Freedom” makes you feel amazing. Being on the back of a motorcycle, riding in a boat, water skiing, speaking, pranic healing – THAT feeling is freedom. Not showing up to your work, your calling - NOT freedom. That’s a different feeling – tired, heavy, dark gray, blobby, cloudy. Not restorative. Not freedom. Freedom for me is expression in all the ways – speech, dance, writing, art, clothing, decorating, cooking, making – knitting, potions, a wooden side table.

Side note: Sometimes “following my whims” is a good thing. I don’t need to be too rigid. But I know, I can feel, if I’m avoiding, or if it really is the best thing for me to take off to the woods instead of cleaning the house. You feel me? You know the difference too.

If we all stepped into our power, stepped up to express what’s inside dying to get out – we wouldn’t be so afraid of everything happening in the world. We wouldn’t need a nap cuz we’re worn out by the too muchness of it all. We would shift the tide! Just doing our THING shifts the tide! Whatever our thing is.

When we play small, others do too. When we step up into our power, it inspires others to step into theirs. You know when you’re around someone who is living large, who is full of vitality? You can literally feel that and it motivates you to do the same. That’s what I mean by “keeping the vibration of world high or low”.

So back to the command The Grandmothers gave me: “You must step forward and be willing to hold more power.” I’ve been resisting that. And it doesn’t feel good. So I’m going to try the other way – stepping up into it. 

Maybe you want to join me? Have you been resisting standing in your power? Holding and expressing power looks different for all of us. We’ve all been called to do that in a special way. And we’re all being called to actually DO it! So let’s go!

photo cred: my hubs

Let Them Know They Matter

I’ve been thinking of my dad a lot in the past week. He would have turned 81 this year. My dad had a certain “je ne sais quoi” - I love this French term for “a quality that cannot be described or named easily”.

People loved my dad and just wanted to be around him. I remember arriving at his hospital room one afternoon as a man I didn’t know was leaving. I asked who he was and my dad said, a bit mystified, “He’s a customer of mine. I’m so surprised that he stopped by to see me.”

If you knew my dad, you would understand. Everyone wanted to just be in his presence. With no agenda. Just BE with him. You felt better when you were around him.

One man said to me at his funeral “Tom would have described himself as just an ordinary man. He was anything but.”

My cousin/friends David & Rylin Rodgers wrote a beautiful tribute to him in the Lebanon Reporter. They said “Tom made you feel like you were the most important person in the world. Like you were a part of something greater. You knew you mattered.”

That was his magic. I don’t know how he did it. I’m certain he didn’t know he did anything special. But it was THE MOST special thing that anyone can do. He reminded so many of us that we matter.

What a gift it was to be his daughter.

I’ve been thinking about how we can all do that for people. Whether it comes easy to you or not, what an amazing gift to give people this holiday season – to let them know they matter. With your undivided attention and interest, help them feel like they are the most important person in the world at that moment.

Happy Thanksgiving week!

Easy Does It

Easy does it!

I got that same message from 3 different sources in 2 days! 

First, I drew the goddess card Oonagh:

“Easy does it. There is no need to hurry or force things to happen. everything is occurring in perfect timing. Call on Oonagh to guide your transitions in creative and magical ways. Make time for the relationships and projects that speak to your heart. Do what’s important to you with absolute devotion. There’s no competition for your true life’s purpose so there is no need to worry, hurry or feel that you have to force things to happen.”

The next day, The Grandmothers told me to open to a page 98 in Book 1:

“Take it EASY. Let us do the work. You must go at the right pace. The right pace is full of grace, as a bird in flight. Everything in its right time. The proper rhythm is never hurried. In nature there is no hurry. Life grows as the seasons come and go. Plants and animals that are forced to grow fast are not healthy, do not live long, do not bear well. This is very wrong. Rushing human beings - this is very wrong. Each according to its own design. A natural pace, one in rhythm with the flow of life. Yes.”

A few hours later I turned on my favorite podcast, The Line, to listen to the September energy message:

“Gentle. Rhythm and flow. Gentle is how you will go. It may feel tight at times. There will be a push and a stretch but gentle is all you need to know. Take space. Take breaths. You are floating, not swimming. Floating along as the water moves back and forth, to and fro. The moment you start to use effort, you are swimming. There is a current that will take you and make it more difficult. So just release, let go, and trust that you will flow. Lying on your back, soaking up the sun, feeling the support beneath you. You are one with it all. Breathing in harmony. Gentle release. Observe, see, feel, hear, touch. Then release. The guidance you receive shows you the way. There is no need to doubt. You do not need to control. The more you release and trust and flow, the more you step down this golden path of destiny leading you home. Let go and float. This is light. Just float.”

Obviously, I’m being called to explore how I can show up with more ease. 

• How can I bring ease into everything this season?

• How can I let The Divine guide my work, instead of pushing?

• How can I receive?

• How can I allow flow?

I can still DO. I’m not feeling like this means to lay on the couch and watch movies - although there are times for that! 

I have lived alot in the misconception that “work” has to be hard and exhausting, and that rest has to be lying on the couch doing nothing. 

I’m relearning and redefining what work and rest mean for me. Because I get to choose. Here’s to the exploration of “doing” with ease!

I'm NOT just a fragmented human!

I had a dream. I was rushing through the airport to make a flight. I realized when I got to my gate that I had forgotten my luggage and it was a 1.5 hour round trip drive to go back and get it. But I had to have my stuff!

I was running through the airport, but I was moving at a snail’s pace. I wasn’t sure what was slowing me down. Then I noticed I was wearing really high heals and the floor was slick. I kept going. Then I noticed that I was wearing a really large and really heavy pool floatie - the ring kind, ya know? This made navigating narrow spaces and tons of people really tricky. 

I came to an escalator. It went down a loooong ways and then suddenly it reversed directions, so I had to walk down the up escalator! 

So many challenges and obstacles!

Then I ran into someone I knew that I hadn’t seen in a long time. I wanted to talk to her but it was slowing me down. 

All the while I was problem solving in my head and calculating timelines. 

I was also navigating dangers - are those terrorists? What is that smoking gas can? People scurried about saying it was going to explode. 

I almost reached the parking garage when I realized I had left my purse at the gate! …with my keys, my ticket, and my ID. So I had to turn around and navigate back through the whole ding danged maze again! 

I could go on with the details, but you see the pattern here?

It’s been a whirlwind last 6 weeks. Lots of fun and wonderful things. But too many. I’m feeling behind and agitated by all of the little human details piled up that seem so important. 

The antidote? Well here’s my morning so far:

I walked outside at 5am and noticed that we can actually SEE the full moon eclipse in Taurus today! I didn’t know it would be visible here. It was remarkable. 

I did yoga in the dark to the Devi Prayer chant that I have been really loving lately. It helps me feel grounded and centered.

I sat in my meditation space and The Grandmothers called me to a reading: 

“Stop what you’re doing right now and think of your connection to the earth. Pull back from that eternal busyness in your mind. Turn to your heart and become aware of your body. Drop into the weight of your body and keep dropping until you feel yourself at one with the earth. You aren’t separate from the earth. You’re not alone. You’re linked with Mother Earth always.” 

The reading lead me through a meditative exploration of the materials of the earth - the textures, light, color, temperature…using all my senses. I did it.

“Let yourself open up to what She has to give you: peace, steadiness, healing, rest, nourishment, minerals, and much more. She is giving it all. Receive it now and rest in her embrace. When you’re scrambling around in your mind, racing from thought to thought, from image to worry, worry to image, you won’t feel good. So keep on diving ever deeper into your own essence. Keep on connecting with Mother Earth. You’re not a fragmented human being. You’re not someone racing from stimulus to stimulus, someone who’s run by fear and agitation. NO! You are great. You’re one with all of life. That is who you are. Own that! Release the worry now. Release the fretting, the fuming and the despair, and instead let yourself be held. Feel yourself being held. Move into the deep stillness at your core. Rest while Mother Earth fills you. She will do that each time you open to this place within you.”

Then I open my email and see a message from Guru Singh: 

“The message within this Taurian Full Moon Eclipse is self-exploration; self-realization; self-nourishment, and creating containers of spacetime to hold the nourishment. Intuition in this moment cultivates deep peace and a groundswell of resourcefulness without all the emotionally chaotic attachments. This Eclipse is a high-emotion charge being added to the atmosphere. Slowing down is a necessity. Work with the Full Moon Eclipse to slow down to become more efficient and effective (speeding up successes in other words) is a perfect process for this moment.”

Then I remembered a quote that Sydera shared at our Sunday Samhain Soul Circle. I wrote it down because I knew it was for me: 

“The fastest way to get to where you want to go is slowly.”

Isn’t it wild how we get the support we need if we just pay attention and listen? 

Is getting those Halloween decorations put away REALLY that critical? Those 2 baskets of laundry WILL get put away. It’s really not THAT big of a deal-e-o.

If you’re stuck in the details of daily life, run down by the hustle and bustle, check out my invitations to help you recenter and connect at a deeper level; to remember that you’re not just a fragmented human racing and running about. No! You’re great! One with all of life. That is who you are. I’m here to help you remember that.