What unconscious childhood message are you living from?
…and is it serving you?
Do you know your Enneagram number? I’m a 7.
The Enneagram personality typing system creates awareness about your thoughts & actions, your motivations, and the fears that drive you…all that stuff is running in the background.
Awareness is the first step to unbinding yourself from your automatic reactions and annoying habits, old stories & patterns.
I have used The Enneagram for 20+ years (thanks Chris Dobbins!) to guide me in very practical ways. I also use it with many of my coaching clients.
Once we have awareness, then we have choice. We’re not just a victim of our personalities. “That’s just the way I am”. Nope. You got programmed that way.
Many years ago my hubs and I signed up for a daily “EnneaThought” email through the Enneagram Institute. We find these SO helpful for personal and relationship growth. They help us see how the other feels and experiences the world.
I also get these emails for my coaching clients to help me better understand them.
Here’s an example for 3 different types:
Type 6: How is your unconscious childhood message that “It’s not okay to trust yourself” affecting you today?
Type 7: How is your unconscious childhood message that “It’s not okay to depend on anyone for anything” affecting you today?
Type 4: How is your unconscious childhood message that “It’s not ok to be too functional or too happy” affecting you today?
This one has been a life-long challenge for me: “It’s not ok to depend on anyone for anything.”
The first thing that popped into my 7 brain when I read this was my dear ole dad teaching fierce independence to my sister and me.
He told us that we don’t need to rely on a man for anything. We are perfectly capable of doing anything we set our minds to. He taught us how to change the oil, drive a tractor, shoot a gun, change a tire, wire a lamp.
There were no boys jobs or girls jobs. We were expected to take out the trash, mow the yard, carry our own luggage.
All of those are AMAZING gifts and messages. I am so very thankful that he raised us to believe in ourselves and our capabilities.
BUT my little kid mind took that valuable message of independence and warped it into: “It’s not okay to depend on anyone for anything”.
I took it WAAAAY too far. That’s what little kid minds have a tendency to do. And then we grow up and we’re still operating from unexamined old stories.
Coaching gives you the opportunity to unearth those old stories and limiting beliefs lurking in your subconscious that are driving the bus.
Once we see them, we can decide to keep what serves – I am a strong, capable woman. And purge what doesn’t – I have to do everything myself.
This is liberating, life changing work.
If you’d like to see how you can use the Enneagram to make different choices & choose different behaviors, schedule a coaching session (in-person or zoom) right there…
PS: If you’re googling “Enneagram test” right now, go ahead and take the $20 Enneagram Institute test. Don’t monkey around with others. But even that test, which is the most reliable, is only about 80% reliable. It will give you your number but often you are close to another number and can easily mistype yourself.
I can help you be sure of your #. I thought I was a 2 for years.
Also – don’t focus on the one-word names that are often given to each number to type yourself because those can be misleading. The 2 is often called The Helper – I like to help. But I’m not a 2. The 4 is often called The Artist – so every artistic person thinks they are a 4. The 9 is The Peacemaker – I don’t like conflict. I’m easy-going. I must be a 9. Not necessarily. Get my point?
It’s worth a coaching session or two to get it right and see how to use it in practical ways.