That’s me & my sweet, silly, talkative, crazy, fun, caring, love bug dad circa 1993. He passed 20 years ago last Wednesday.
But he’s not gone. I feel him all the time and he sends me messages.
Last week he was working overtime letting us know that he’s with us. Especially on Wednesday, the 20th anniversary of his passing.
Every morning I have meditation, contemplation & journaling time. I tune into my spirit guides and ancestors. Wednesday morning I really felt him close. I asked that he stay close and connected that day.
And boy did he!
When I got to my office, the light outside my office was blinking. That’s one of the ways that he communicates with me. He worked for the electric company so that makes sense. I kept trying to get a video of it but every time I walked out of my office with my camera, it stopped! He’s a rascal!
Back up to last Sunday - he started then. I took my mom to IU to visit Ruby. Rubes was touring us around her sorority house and we were in the kitchen area. She was opening drawers to show us snacks and coffee and such.
She opened a cabinet door and right there front & center was a bag of Werther’s candy!
Now if you live in Boone County and know my dad, you know that he always had Werther’s in his pocket to share with people. We had a basket of Werther’s at his funeral! I knew it was a sign from him saying “Hey girls! I’m here!”
Back to Wednesday: I sent my sister a message telling her about the Werther’s earlier in the week. She said – wait til you hear this! YOU GUYS!!!!
Kathy’s father-in-law passed a few weeks ago (RIP Don). A friend of Randy’s sent him a wind chime in the mail to remember his dad. The next day, he got another package in the mail that said it was from her.
It was a bag of Werther’s! He thought it was a little strange but texted her a thanks and she replied: “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I didn’t send you any candy!”
SAY WHAT!!??
Bananaaaaaas!!!
I know it was Dad saying hello and sending Randy comfort.
So on Wednesday I’m texting my niece in Lisbon about these Werther’s antics. She says: WHAT?! You’re not gonna believe this!
“Just yesterday I was thinking that I like candy but I never have it around. And maybe I want to be one of those people who carries candy around and hands it out to their friends. Then I remembered that Papaw did that with Werther’s and I liked that idea and I wrote “Werther’s” on my grocery list!!!”
Bonkers!
But the signs don’t stop there!
On Wednesday I was in yoga class and I set a silent intention to connect with Dad. During the practice, the instructor reminded us “You have everything you need.”
I almost burst out cry-laughing because when I was in the worst part of my 32 hour labor with Ruby, I silently called on Dad for help. He had passed just 8 months earlier.
What I heard him say was “You have everything you need, baby.”
A bit later, the instructor said: “This pose reminds me of a deer bending down to drink from a stream.”
My dad loved deer. There were a lot of deer around where I grew up and he would get SO excited about deer sightings. Every. Single. Time. It never got old for him. He was always on the lookout for them and I have fond memories of him calling me from another room to come look through the binoculars at the deer. AGAIN!
THEN, when I got in the car after yoga, my dash said it was 1:11 and 66 degrees. I consider repeating numbers to be messages from my guides. Hi Dad!
I’m listening to The Telepathy Tapes podcast (MY FAVORITE! OMG!) on the way home and the host, Ky, is talking to the singer Willow Smith about her song “Talk On The Hill”. Willow said her favorite line in her song is “the wind knows all of our names.”
Ky remembered how one of their guests had been told that her father, who was unable to communicate due to Alzheimer’s, telepathically told a man to tell her “I can hear you, you’re in the wind.”
It was a goosebump moment for them…BUT A BIGGER ONE FOR ME!
So the wind…that’s another story and I’ll abbreviate it: Several years ago, during my quiet morning time, on a very windy day, Dad suddenly popped into my awareness and said “Hey baby! I’m in the wind today.” That sounds fun, right?!
Later that day I got in my car and with no reasonable explanation, my phone starts playing a song from iTunes. I hadn’t used iTunes in years. The song was called…wait for it… “In The Wind”!
There were other wind references all day. When I remembered to text my sister later that afternoon, I said “Dad told me he’s in the wind today.” She said: WHAT!? And sent me a photo of her journal page that morning where she got messages from Dad through the wind!
I kid you not.
I know he’s still around. I get signs all the time.
I really miss his human self. I’d love to be enveloped in his big hug, hunt mushrooms with him, work on a house project, scan the fields for deer, ride in the tractor with him singing hymns, laugh our heads off.
But this relationship is cool too.
As Taylor Swift sings in her song Marjorie, about her grandma who has passed:
If I didn't know better
I'd think you were talking to me now.
If I didn't know better
I'd think you were still around.
What died didn't stay dead.
You're alive, so alive.And if I didn't know better
I'd think you were listening to me now.
I still feel you all around.
I know better.
You're still around.